Poll Closed; Blogger Is Slow.

-Compsognathus Dinosaur

So out of 100 of you, 56 say the page is loading slowly. That's 56% for you idiots (or, 87% of you... 19 heads just exploded). Anyway, I think removing my Twitter updates helped but still, my time at this address is growing shorter.

I've received hundreds, no thousands, of emails regarding my elite $5,000 monthly subscription based newsletter/basement apartment offer. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and the demand has made me question whether $5,000 a month is enough. To sweeten the deal further, I promise to scoop the cat litter boxes twice daily, as opposed to the current once a day schedule (the litter boxes are located in the "basement apartment.")

I have also decided to break the subscription rates into a few levels. I will post more on this later. Just know the lowest level will be the "Compsognathus" level at $36.50 monthly. Why $36.50? Because this will put me into direct competition with the HCPG newsletter (they charge $37.50 a month).

As always, fuck the HCPG people and their "female" West Coast ways.

Finally, I just want to point out that after blogging at a searing pace to begin this year I have substantially slowed down. You bastards still get 3 posts a day but it should be clear to long time readers that I'm not even trying anymore.

That said, I feel the juices starting to flow again...

In fact, just the other day I had a real confrontation with a 7-11 employee regarding hazlenut coffee. More on this soon.

The RO Report, "Poll" Edition

This not having the software thing is starting to suck a lot. Also, my page seems to be taking a very long time to load.

So please answer this quick question before you go on to read the numbers.

Is this site loading slow (i.e. taking longer than 10 seconds or so?) on your comp? Don't answer if you don't have a cable modem or other high speed connection. If you're using dialup, your opinion is irrelevant... Okay, go click that little button on the right... it'll take less than a second. Thanks.

UPDATE: Trader A has come through... I will have a legit RO report up in a couple of hours. I have to split for awhile...

UPDATED VERSION:

Okay, it feels good to put a little more meat on these numbers. I know I've been a bit out of it around here lately, but that's been because of some bad trading and no RO software to keep me abreast of what's going on intraday with the office.

I twit midday that it was all about IYR again(meanwhile, you like my end of day SRS swing pickup yesterday?) It seems that the IYR is either leading the market up or taking it down... just pick your day. Today it led down but not without an afternoon freak-out that left some of the RO members in tatters.

Anyway, out of 31 traders today, 21 were gross positive or 68%. 9 traders made over $1,000 gross and 4 traders lost over $1,000 gross. Mediocre. I was #10 of 31.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader N, $5,030 on 131k shares traded.

2. Trader C, $4,107 on 177k shares traded.
3. Trader 10*, $4,063 on 0 shares traded.
4. Trader D, $3,604 on 163k shares traded.
5. Trader F, $3,585 on 154k shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader A, -$5,048 on 431k shares traded.

2. Trader Z, -$3,006 on 137k shares traded.
3. Trader 9*, -$1,351 on 2,300 shares traded.
4. Trader E, -$1,291 on 33,400 shares traded.
5. Trader M*, -$855 on 0 shares traded.

Poll: How Should I Take Revenge On My Neighbor?

The first thing I do each morning is open the window blinds.

Well this morning I opened the blinds to see my neighbor walking his dog on the street in front of my house. The dog sniffed here and there and then ambled over to a wooded area on the side of my lawn and took a dump.

My neighbor stood there a second, looked in both directions and then walked away from the steaming brown pile which was quickly nestling its way further into the earth, my earth, with each drop of rain.

The motherfucker didn't pick it up!

So I ask you all a very important question. What should I do about this?

Please vote in the poll over on the right. It will only be open until Friday at which time I will act.

1. Take the shit and deposit it on his lawn.
2. Take the shit, bag it, and set it on fire on his stoop.
3. Leave a short letter in their mailbox asking them to curb their dog.
4. Put a sign on the lawn saying curb your dog.
5. Do nothing and worry about more important things.
6. Start flirting with his wife

Where Will The Stock Market Bottom?

The results are in and 146 of you voted. Nearly 50% of you feel the market is headed to at least 6000 before we ultimately bottom.

I feel pretty good about our recent low, just around 7500. However, days like Monday make me very nervous.

Anyway, here's how you voted:

7500 16 votes or 10%.
7250 14 votes or 9%.
7000 6 votes or 4%.
6750 13 votes or 8%.
6500 17 votes or 11%.
6250 4 votes or 2%.
6000 9 votes or 13%.
sub 6000 57 votes or 39%.

Where's The Bottom?

Simple enough. Let's see what you people think.

1. 7500
2. 7250
3. 7000
4. 6750
5. 6500
6. 6250
7. sub 6000

DT Projects Obama As Winner!

-Barack Obama

I know it's early, but see, I ran a very scientific poll for the last couple of months. Due to the accurate nature of my polling, I can say without a doubt that Barack Obama will emerge victorious this evening in the race for the White House. Still, don't get complacent... go vote for him.

Anyway, here's how you voted:

Out of 632 total votes casted,

Obama 332 or 52%
McCain 238 or 37%
Nader 62 or 9%

Now, I tend to doubt that 9% of the electorate will vote for Nader, I just have a very independent-minded readership. So I'm going to chop that number a few percentage points. However, I also think that a fair number of my readers are Republicans, so I think the McCain number is probably fairly accurate.

Here is my final vote tally prediction. This is just the popular vote percentages.

Obama 56%
McCain 39%
Nader/Third-party candidates 5%

Whoever you choose to vote for today, go vote. I know there is a lot of cynicism about the system, but the fact remains that just sitting and watching TV will change absolutely nothing. More participation will make our democracy stronger.

And speaking of which... find your polling station here.

Trader D Wins In A Landslide

I tell you what, "Trader D" didn't really need another victory, but he comes away with a rather convincing rout over the rest of the RO.

Now it's just a matter of providing "incentives" so that we may receive a nice post from "Trader D." Developing...

Here are the final results. The percentages don't add up to 100 because you were allowed to vote for more than one trader. The question was, "Which ROer would you like to see write a post?"

Trader A, 17 votes or 11%.
Trader B, 49 votes or 38%.
Trader C, 10 votes or 6%.
Trader D, 89 votes or 60%.
Trader E, 4 votes or 2%.
Trader F, 8 votes or 5%.
Trader P, 8 votes or 5%.
Trader Z, 14 votes or 9%.

Which ROer Do You Want To See Post To The Blog?

Just to fuck with my officemates, I've decided to apply a little pressure, Internet-style to get one of them to do a blog post.

So I'm starting a new poll... if you could read a guest post from one of these manly men, which would it be? Now, I'm limited in how many choices I can give, so I'll start with the ones who show up most often on the RO report. So, if you're dying to know more about Trader L, for example, you'll have to write him in...

You can vote for more than one trader... the poll is open for a week.

Go vote... this could start a good war.

NOTE: I offer no guarantees that I can actually get an RO to post. And even if I did succeed, the post would most likely be about Dirty Yeltsins or Sneaky Castros. In short, it's quite possible that the post would be unrelated to the stock market as most of the RO inhabitants are disturbed in significant ways.

Who Are You Voting For?

There's only 43 days left until election day... let's see if my readership gets this one right.

Who are you voting for?

1. McCain/Palin
2. Obama/Biden
3. Nader/Gonzalez

Dennis Kneale A Bigger Dick Than Larry Kudlow

-dick

Well, the votes have been tallied and the world agrees, Dennis Kneale is a bigger dick than Larry "pink tie" Kudlow.

I think they're both dicks, so I was surprised at the landslide "victory" that Kneale enjoyed.

Here's how it went down... 83 of you voted. 53 or 63% thought Dennis Kneale was a bigger dick, and 30 or 36% of you thought that Kudlow was the bigger dick.

Who's A Bigger Dick? Kudlow? Or Kneale?

-dick


-dick

Something to talk about over your 4th of July holiday. Please vote over there, to the right.

Is Dennis Kneale Worth $1500?

The question: How should DT spend his stimulus package?

Here's how 62 of you voted:

29% Dennis Kneale
25% On a 2 diamond girl
22% Invest in GE
12% Buy a flat screen TV
9% Get some new hubcaps

I guess that on many levels I find it disturbing that so many of you wish I took the $1500 to purchase Dennis Kneale. However, perhaps you were thinking that for $1500, I would buy Dennis Kneale, sprinkle him with some lighter fluid, and light him and his idiot opinions on fire.

That makes sense and would be well worth $1500. Score one for mob mentality.

Note to law enforcement officials: Should Dennis Kneale's charred and beaten body be found in a landfill in NJ, I had NOTHING to do with it. However, I would check this guy out. He has a history of Dennis Kneale abuse.

Note II: Richard has enabled comments over on his blog again. In other words, go abuse him.

Are Stocks Male, Or Female?

In all of the offices I worked in, they were male. As in, "that guy is a fucking dick!" However, when bloggers write about stocks, they tend to make them female.

So for you, are stocks male or female? Please vote in the poll.

This Blog Is Clean

For a poll that was only open 6 hours or so, late at night, the vote total was impressive.

48 of you voted and 27, or 56% voted to keep the old look.

Therefore, I will respect it. The main issue with the blog is fixed... it wasn't loading correctly.

I have saved the blog. Indeed, it was quite an ordeal. Here is exclusive footage of me saving the blog last night (and no, smartass, I'm not the woman).



Meanwhile, I will continue to tweak the way this blog looks... because I'm kind of sick of it. And look at all that wasted space on the left!

Quick Poll: Keep This Layout, Yes Or No?

Vote over on the left sidebar. Not sure if I'll listen to the poll anyway. Poll only open for a few hours.

17% Of My Readers Are Dennis Kneale

I thought that was interesting.

Here are the final results to the poll, "What is your gender?"

58 or 65% of you are male.
13 or 14% of you are female.
17 or 19% of you are Dennis Kneale.

Oh, and a couple thousand of you are undecided. Oddly enough, even though my readership was much less at the time, more people voted in the "CNBC Sex Poll."

Enjoy bloggerdotcom (and harass him). And I'll check in for Barack's victory speech tonight.

Poll Closed. DT Readers Are Politically Mixed

67 of you voted in the last 24 hours and here are the final results.

20 or 29% of you are Democrats
22 or 32% of you are Independents
25 or 37% of you are Republicans

Pretty even, really.

Okay, so since I'm data mining here, lets do another simple one.

Are you a man, a woman, or... Dennis Kneale?

I'll keep this poll open until the end of the week.

Super Tuesday Poll

Simple... Are you a Democrat, Republican or Independent?

I'm pissed because I'm a registered Independent and can't vote in my state's primary...

This is a 24 hour poll so vote early and often.

Daytrading Is NOT Gambling

The people have spoken.

46 or 63% of you agree that daytrading is not gambling.

27 or 36% of you are horribly misinformed.

Meanwhile, if you truly believe that daytrading is gambling, you should not be daytrading. We all know everyone who gambles eventually loses their shirt.

Is Daytrading Gambling?

I thought this would be a fun poll question since it's a debate people often (foolishly) engage me in.

Go vote.