Eddie Murphy, "Party All The Time"

I haven't had to post bad music since August 6th, so I can't be too upset. This one is a doozy. Pure awful. But while the song is horrendous, the video is hilarious... props if you can actually get through the whole thing.

Now I know there are probably a few of you out there who are demented and like this song for it's "kitsch value" or something. To you I say this... you are broken, seek help.

The RO Report, "Insanity" Edition

When you get a group of traders together in a room, all on the same side of a losing trade, it's a lot of fun. It's hard to overstate the amount of cursing, groaning, and even sobbing that I heard today... add in thousands of gay jokes and I'm sure my brain is being irreparably damaged by this occupation.

In sum, getting long commodities near the open today was a pure "death" trade. There were some completely unreal losses today, with "Trader D" dropping 50gs at his lows. However, as you'll see shortly, the guys turned their days around, in a big way.

And it wasn't by continuing to hold the commodity longs. However, a "friend" of mine, a certain "Trader S" did hold those death longs, and got killed all day. However, even "Trader S," despite his stubbornness and stupidity, made back most of his losses.

The numbers really speak for themselves. Out of 22 traders, 18 finished gross positive, or 82%. 10 traders finished up over $3,000 gross, and 15 over $1,000 gross. The RO kicked ass.

Not me. I was number 17 of 22... gross positive, net negative. One of the hardest things about this job is not making money when it seems everyone else in the world is rolling in it... but you can't win everyday.

And again, if you're interested in joining the RO, email me. They're hiring.

Here's the top 5:

1. Trader F, $44,488 on 250k shares traded.
2. Trader B, $16, 450 on 835k shares traded.
3. Trader Z, $16,374 on 517k shares traded.
4. Trader D, $16,144 on 505k shares traded.
5. Trader A, $8,832 on 134k shares traded.

And the bottom.

1. Trader H, -$21,924 on 12,100 shares traded.
2. Trader T, -$444 on 6,100 shares traded.
3. Trader Y, -$437 on 11,800 shares traded.
4. Trader J, -$260 on 100 shares traded.
5. Trader S, $177 on 150k shares traded.

AXA getting smacked

One never really knows what the exact holdings are of any investment company as there are delays in reporting and so on.

But using data from June 30, 2008, AXA portfolios (via AllianceBernstein mutual funds and others) should be getting hurt a bit from the FNM, FRE< and LEH falls.

According to filings, AXA is:

1) The #1 holder of FNM common (134 million shares or 13% of the company)
2) The #3 holder of FRE common (41 million shares or 6% of the company)
3) The #1 holder of LEH common (66 million shares or 10% of the company)

The total losses as of right now from Friday's close on those positions are $804 million from FNM, $164 million from FRE, and $528 million from LEH for a total of $1.4 billion.

I realize AXA handles a lot of assets ($289 billion as of 6/30/08), but still.......

Also generally hurt from large exposures are Dodge & Cox, John Hancock funds, and Fidelity.