Monday, December 31, 2007

Frank Sinatra & Dean Martin, "Auld Lang Syne"

No VO today...

Happy New Year's! Be safe!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

The Christmas/New Year's Eve Interlude

People smile, say "Merry Christmas!" and then live the next 6 days in utter misery as they wait for New Year's Eve.

They just zip through the "Christmas/New Year's Interlude" without much thought.

This got me thinking... linking behavioral expectations to certain days seems to help people focus. For example, on Christmas I give gifts. On Thanksgiving I eat turkey and see my family. On my birthday I fuck my harem of indentured servants.

So lets focus on this "Interlude" for a moment and make it special, like a holiday, so that next year you can use the time more productively.

What if you tried very hard for just these 5 days to focus on the little things that make your life move? Not the "big" New Year's resolution that you'll forget by January 21st. I'm talking more about things like washing the dishes after dinner each night, or feeding your pets.

Could you do these things better? I'm thinking that yes, you could.

Could you put your clothes on faster? How about showering? During the "Interlude" try cutting your shower time by a minute. Then, during the day, spend that entire minute telling someone close to you that you really love them. See what happens. Did they get sick of you after 20 seconds?

Then maybe you need to find a new lover. Congratulations, you have made the interlude work for you.

Do you tailgate? I know I do.

During the "Interlude" try not to tailgate everyone. Instead, focus only on those drivers who "need to learn how to drive." (Of course, always tailgate obvious geriatrics because they're just dangerous.) Then, you'll have a little extra negative energy stored up that you can use elsewhere.

I suggest taking that saved negative energy to start a war with your neighbor. For example, my neighbor blows leaves onto my property when I'm not home. But you see, he's a silly idiot. I work from home, so who do you think is going to win that battle? The moment I see him back down his driveway to head out to his job as "office slave," I return the favor. Meanwhile we both pretend that we don't know what's going on. "Where'd all the leaves come from this year?" Duh.

A silent war like that takes a lot of energy. Again, save up some negativity during the "Interlude" and unleash it when you really need it.

That's making the "Interlude" work for you; that's time well spent.

Now, I'm not sure if this idea will "go national" or anything. It certainly won't help the economy or enslave the lower and middle class, so I can't see the government sponsoring the idea. When is the last time the government really helped you anyway?

Forget it. 2008 is all about empowering yourself. Use the "Interlude" well.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Best Blog Posts Of 2007

Quick note to my fellow "stock market" bloggers.

Email me your favorite blog post from 2007 that you wrote by Monday and I will create a link-whoring end of year post with the best posts of 2007 as chosen by you.

Meanwhile, I'm stealing this idea. But since we're in different blogging realms, (he political, me "stock market-rific") I figure he won't care.

Besides, I'm a third-tier blogger... we steal shit. It's part of our nature.

NOTE: While emailing everyone on my blogroll, I noticed that Dummyspots has disappeared. That's too bad but I look forward to his new venture. He's an excellent writer.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Pulp, "Bad Cover Version"

One of the best "tongue in cheek" music videos of all time.

Virtual Office, $3338. Dow, +6.26, 13365.87.

Misstrade, $2679 on 500 shares traded.
OBAT, $410 on 6200 shares traded.
Dehtrader, $249 on 2700 shares traded.
Akalawoo, no trades.
Denarii, no trades.
Evolution, no trades.
Me, no trades.
Retard, no trades.
Wincity, no trades.

We traded over a billion shares on the NYSE today!!! w00t!

Anyway, most people didn't trade.

Since I can't offer much market color, I'll give you a quick update on my status.

My paperwork is currently flying in the air to my new company for processing. I will not be up and trading by the 2nd of January. I'm guessing that the 7th is much more probable.

I'm bored. I've been writing a lot, just not market stuff. Next week I have a post all cued up for Trading Goddess... that is, unless things get really desperate at the Peanut Gallery and I need to post it there.

Speaking of the Peanut Gallery, if you have nothing else to do, go vote my posts 5 stars so I can win "top peanut" and get on with 2008 already.

Enjoy your weekend. I don't expect many people to be around this weekend (things are currently very quiet in Blogistan) but I'll throw an Open Thread up just in case you have anything to share.

Fuck The Robots

Now that Christmas is behind us, you may find yourself wasting countless hours speaking with customer service robots.

Thankfully for you (loyal reader) I hate robots and so I've found a couple of sites that help you get through the annoying phone trees that now plague our nation's customer service departments.

First of all, there's Bringo. They navigate the phone tree for you.

Then, there's Gethuman. This is just a website with directions on what numbers you enter onto the phone to get around the robots. They have a database with directions for over 500 customer service lines all neatly categorized.

Happy calling.

Great Revenge Video Sequence

I'm pretty much chilling out and trying to write funny stuff while Judy and my daughter food shop. So, occasionally, I surf the net. I found these gems...

Roommate Revenge: Buttered Floor - Watch more free videos


Buttered Floor Revenge: Part 2 - Watch more free videos


Roomate RE-Revenge: Its My Churn. - Watch more free videos

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Virtual Office, $2667. Dow, -192.08, 13,359.61.

Misstrade, $1670 on 10,500 shares traded.
Dehtrader, $595 on 3100 shares traded.
OBAT, $188 on 12,000 shares traded.
Wincity, $143 on 400 shares traded.
Denarii, $71 on 600 shares traded.
Akalawoo, no trades.
Evolution, no trades.
Me, no trades.
Retard, no trades.

Wow, well it was a bloody day in the market. But hey, the VO made money so everyone here is happy!

I have to say that being removed from the market, even if during the slower holiday season, kind of sucks. You may have noticed I'm posting less. It's just hard for me to sit and watch stocks and actively monitor the market if I'm not involved.

I watched the news about Bhutto this morning with some unrest. The world doesn't need to get more "extreme." When the moderates are targeted and killed though, extremists fill the vacuum. The assassination of Bhutto is bad news for the world.

Anyway, volume is still very light. We traded under a billion shares again. At least the VIX saw a little pop, up over 20 again.

See you tomorrow. Oh, and don't forget to go give me a nice vote over at the Peanut Gallery.

William "The Greedy" McGuire

I've submitted a new post to the Peanut Gallery. It's about what a greedy dickhead William McGuire is.


Benazir Bhutto Assassinated in Pakistan

I'm no expert on Pakistani politics, but it's never good when the moderates get taken out.

Oil runs higher on the news.

And the futures sell off.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Virtual Office, $379. Dow, +2.36, 13,551.69.

Dehtrader, $277 on 2700 shares traded.
Wincity, $80 on 400 shares traded.
OBAT, $54 on 6800 shares traded.
Akalawoo, no trades.
Evolution, no trades.
Me, no trades.
Misstrade, no trades.
Retard, no trades.
Sanglucci, no trades.
Denarii, -$32 on 800 shares traded.

Wow. I guess the big story of the day is the smoking Denarii took. That's hard to take, right after the holidays and all, but I hope he gets his game back soon.

It looks like most people stayed out of the market today, choosing instead to curse whatever new gadget Santa brought. Others spent the better part of the day at the doctor's office. Apparently Santa's elves are nasty mofos who give good children ear infections.

I hate elves... they've been known to make robots.

Anyway, we traded a whopping 838 million shares on the NYSE today. Still, despite the low volume, there were some stocks that made nice tradeable moves today. Check out the insanity in LNN for example. The fertilizer stocks also moved.


On Christmas Eve, Judy sent me out to buy some mistletoe.

"It'll give the house a fresh, 'Christmasy' kind of feel," she explained.

So I drove to the local garden center and asked the somewhat "fish-eyed" looking girl behind the counter if she had any mistletoe.

"We sure do," she said with a decisively southern twang.

Now, her accent should have indicated that something was seriously wrong. Like most northerners, I hear a southern accent and I think "Oh, this person is an idiot," or, "Jerry Springer." But since it was Christmas and I was feeling somewhat charitable, I hung around and let her show me the mistletoe.

From a cardboard display that looked like it once housed car deodorizers, little plastic bags marked with the words "Fun Time Mistletoe!" hung.

The counter girl started with the hard sell. "It's real mistletoe...they just freeze dry it so it stays fresh longer," she said. "The berries are fake because they're poisonous or something."

I picked up a bag and looked closely at the product inside. The plastic crinkled. The "mistletoe" was hard and an unnatural color of green.

"This is real mistletoe?" I challenged.

"Yup," she said. "Just freeze-dried. They stick it in a freezer. Makes it last longer."

"And when I take it home," I said slowly, "it will 'spring to life' and look 'Christmasy'?"

She started to get defensive. "Yup, it should... I don't see why not. It's real mistletoe."

So I ponied up the $2.17 and took the plastic package home. Needless to say, Judy wasn't impressed. However, it made my daughter very happy.

She stood under the mistletoe doling out "Christmas Kisses!" for the better part of the day. Even the cats got their share.

Still Sick

Man, that "rogue cold" I was hit with last week has stuck around in the most unwelcome way infecting not only myself, but Judy and my daughter as well.

So it was a quiet Christmas.

More on Christmas later... I just wanted to get the blog up and running again.

So far, trade looks extremely choppy.

Ferts are (as always) strong, the 4 horsemen are stable, solars are mixed and financials are down. Overall, the market feels heavy.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Happy Xmas (War Is Over) - John Lennon

Virtual Office, $5905. Dow, +205.01, 13,450.65.

Misstrade, $6200 on 5000 shares traded.
Dehtrader, $506 on 1840 shares traded.
Wincity, $4 on 100 shares traded.
Akalawoo, no trades.
Evolution, no trades.
Me, no trades.
Sanglucci, no trades.
Denarii, -$57 on 600 shares traded.
OBAT, -$134 on 6100 shares traded.
Retard, -$614 on 2 contracts traded.

Okay, my eyes hurt so apologies for the lame posting today.

Can you see the Santa in the stock chart pictured below?

We traded just under 2.4 billion shares on the NYSE today (huge volume due to OPEX day) and the VIX continued to plummet, landing at 18.47.

This will be the last VO (and second to last post) until after Christmas. I just want to send my sincere good wishes out to you all... even "newequity" and "JJ."

Also, special thanks to all the VOers for making the VO such a vibrant place.

I've enjoyed blogging these past 9 months and I'm glad the VO has such a nice following.

I hope this holiday finds you, your family and friends well.

Thanks for reading.


Setting Fire To My Face

I've been hit with a rogue cold.

My nose and eyes, feel like they're on fire. If I could simply harvest and sell my mucus, I'd be a billionaire.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Virtual Office, $2033. Dow, +38.37, 13,245.64

Evolution, $1715 on 56,000 shares traded.
OBAT, $585 on 11,600 shares traded.
Retard, $408 on 6 contracts traded.
Denarii, $18 on 200 shares traded.
Me, no trades.
Misstrade, no trades.
Akalawoo, -$27 on 1 contract traded.
Dehtrader, -$199 on 3500 shares traded.
Sanglucci, -$467 on 11,698 shares traded.

Damn, it's like Evolution and OBAT are the big bullies of the VO suddenly.

Rumor has it that yesterday there was some confrontation over by the watercooler between OBAT and Sanglucci. Something about the old volatility mascot "Clarence." Apparently, he's still a divisive figure.

Anyway, it appears Sanglucci has been seriously shaken by said confrontation while OBAT just keeps getting stronger.

Retard has been hanging around Evolution and OBAT trying to gain favor... however, as yet he is merely a yes man. Yesterday, I caught him parking Evolution's new sport car... humble times indeed.

Denarii and Akalawoo keep their own counsel. They're the quiet guys lately. Rumor has it that they're doing a "raw foods" diet together or something like that...

Meanwhile people have been giving Dehtrader wide berth. He's had a rough month (you're not the only one man... keep the chin up) and he's put people through walls before... best to wait until he starts stringing the green days together again before saying much.

Wincity, is AWOL.

Finally, I've taken to hanging outside the VO and begging for spare change while Misstrade was last seen flying over the city in his private jet.

Oh, and we traded under 1.4 billion on the NYSE today while the VIX dropped over a point, to 20.58.

Sufjan Stevens, "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"

Kind of a demented/drunken version of this Christmas classic. But we've all hit the egg nogg too hard at one point or other, no?

You can find the track by following this link and downloading track #8.

Have at it.


Parabolic? On a monthly, definitely.

On the daily, less so.

Still, take a look at the daily and you see mostly distribution since November when it began the base that it's "breaking out" of today. Volume is also suspiciously light. One other problem I have with the base is the 20% drop in high volume that came the second week of November.

Finally, this is a third-stage base. This run is getting a little "long in the tooth." I'd be very cautious if I was buying here. Keep those stops tight.

Best Pick By "the Fly" Ever...

"The Fly" called this one when it was trading in the low 30s. Luckily, I picked it up way back then and decided to hold it in my long-term account. Milk the farmer!

Interview With Maria Bartiromo

Just in case you missed it, I wanted to point out the exceptional interview conducted by Mr. White Folks of MtM fame, on Maria Bartiromo.

I only wish he had delved into her past a bit more. He missed the opportunity to discuss her famed but mysterious "hairdex."

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Spiders On Drugs

Just for fun.

Effects Of Drugs And Alcohol On Spider Webs - Watch more free videos

Virtual Office, $2021. Dow, -25.20, 13,207.27

Evolution, $1633 on 55,600 shares traded.
OBAT, $868 on 7400 shares traded.
Akalawoo, $13 on 100 shares traded.
Me, no trades.
Misstrade, no trades.
Retard, no trades.
Wincity, no trades.
Denarii, -$14 on 200 shares traded.
Dehtrader, -$77 on 2530 shares traded.
Sanglucci, -$402 on 18,400 shares traded.

I didn't look at the market all day, so it will be hard to provide some color. Luckily, I have no problem making shit up. Actually, go visit Evolution and OBAT... they're on top of this market right now.

We traded under 1.4 billion shares on the NYSE today and the VIX dropped about a point, to 21.65. There.

Anyway, trust me when I say that I had more fun than you (random trader) did today despite nursing a huge hangover (I rarely drink). I took my daughter to my wife's toddler yoga class and watched Judy teach for the first time. She's a great teacher even if she drops the "f-bomb" on 3- year-olds a little more than she should...

Tomorrow I plan on waking early and watching the market for the first hour or so... just to keep up.

Quick Note On "The State Of Dinosaur Trader"

Just wanted to let you all know that while I'm temporarily unemployed and not trading, that I plan on keeping things professional around here.

I'll be monitoring the market and posting when something interesting happens.

Today, I happen to be a little hungover, so posting will be light.

Still, the VO will be up and if I get to it this evening I will be working on the next "history" post and writing about last night.

Trade well.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

John Lennon, "Imagine"

Moving On

I just severed my link with my company.

After 6 years of being with them (with 3 total down months, in March, April and June of this year), I guess I expected more than a phone call 2 minutes before the open and the threat that "should you lose much more, we'll shut you down."

I lost $700 more yesterday and today they shut my account down with nary an email or phone call.

So I called them.

"Send us another check and we'll be more than happy to open you back up," they said.

Nope. While I understand it's a cold business, I simply expected more.

While trading is about numbers, it's more about psychology.

I can only assume by their actions that they were basically asking me to walk away. Traders are people and if you have a business that revolves around traders, you need to learn to help them manage difficult times. I would have found it helpful simply to receive a phone call now and then, just so it seemed like they were watching and showing some type of concern about my struggle.

Instead, the only time they called me was when they wanted to shut me down.

Like I said yesterday, I had contacted them a number of times since April in search of help. They were always nice, saying things like, "If there's anything we can do to help, just call," but other than sounding helpful, they didn't help me at all.

The one thing that did help was when I put a loss-limit on my account. In the end, that didn't even help me, since none of my days this month were your typical trading blow up day (a la HPT ZING!) as Moom mentioned yesterday in the comment section, my recent downturn has been steep, but minor if looked at in the perspective of my trading year.

So whatever, fuck them, their loss.

I contacted an old friend and hopefully, I'll be up and running again by January 2nd.

Virtual Office, $1797. Dow, +65.27, 13,232.47.

Evolution, $4038 on 73,848 shares traded.
OBAT, $730 on 10,000 shares traded.
Sanglucci, $224 on 18,800 shares traded.
Denarii, $44 on 100 shares traded.
Me, no trades.
Misstrade, no trades.
Retard, no trades.
Wincity, no trades.
Akalawoo, -$181 on 6 contracts traded.
Dehtrader, -$3058 on 4116 shares traded.

Wow, a reversal day... I'm jealous.

Still, while you greedy bastards were sweating and trying to make 20 cents here, or a point there, I was enjoying time with my daughter.

Seriously people... there's so much more to life than making money. You "Wall Streeters" are greedy little punks.

Anyway, looks like it was a great day to trade. Some of the moves in the fertilizer stocks for example, were ridiculous. I'm sure these types of moves were mirrored in other areas as well.

It's very nice to see Evolution and OBAT up there near the top. They've been with the VO since the very beginning.

Your Christmas fruit baskets should be arriving soon, guys.

Million, Billion, Trillion

We hear these numbers thrown around every day. For example...

JJ, "the tellurium blogger," has lost millions.

Exxon Mobil makes billions in quarterly profits.

The Iraq War is going to cost our children trillions.

While that gives you some idea of what these numbers mean, Wall Street Fighter provides a great link that really drives home what these numbers represent.

Interesting stuff.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Black Lips, "Veni, Vedi, Vici"


If you've never had the opportunity to get phoned by your company at 9:28am and told that if you lose much more money that you'll be "cut off" then you haven't really lived yet.

That's right, the risk-manager at my company chose to take my current state of "mindfuckedness" up to a whole new level today by basically declaring me "dead" as a trader.

He could have at least called me last week and told me that I was almost dead.

To just be dead, came as somewhat of a shock.

Funny that I made over 10gs in November despite making the worst trade of my life (FSLR short) but that 2 weeks into December I'm "dead."

Ah well, it's a cold business and I don't take this personally.

That said, I've been with this company for 5 or 6 years. I've been writing them since April looking for help. I was told, in short, that "there was nothing they could do for me." The fact is, I've received loads more help from complete strangers over the Internet via this blog and others.

To those who've offered me constructive criticism, I sincerely thank you very much.

Unfortunately, it didn't help one damn bit.

I kid, I kid...

Now, it's true that I am almost out of trading capital. I can send this company another check and pretend nothing happened, or I can take this opportunity to test the waters at other companies.

I decided to test the waters. Perhaps, I thought, I need a fresh start.

So, by 9:45am, I had a job lined up with another firm. Unless something good happens with my current company before Friday, or unless I hook up with some rich "cougar" and move to Hawaii, as of January 2nd I'll be trading with a new firm.

In an example of "art mirroring reality" this company has a very active group of "remote traders" who work each day in a "virtual office." Just the kind of support I could use.

Speaking of art, I've decided to write a damn book, because this shit is twisted. It'll be like the "my history" posts, but with added sex and violence.

If you or someone you love is a book agent, contact me about the massive advance you're willing to pay me.

Anyway, I lost all of my money today in MOS. Most of it around 10:00am when the stock made a move that only the "hybrid architects" could love.

But really, my problem once again was my ratio of winners to losers. I'm still at a loss as to what I'm doing different these last 2 weeks that has made it nearly impossible for me to bag a winner.

Here's the stats:
P&L, -$713
Best, KMT, $351
Worst, MOS, -$794

20,800 shares traded.
10 stocks traded, 2 winners, 8 losers.

Virtual Office, -$1617. Dow, -172.65, 13,167.20.

Misstrade, $5233 on 1000 shares traded.
Akalawoo, $6 on 1 contract traded.
Wincity, no trades.
Sanglucci, no trades.
OBAT, -$82 on 13,600 shares traded.
Denarii, -$137 on 1400 shares traded.
Me, -$713 on 20,800 shares traded.
Evolution, -$1940 on 70,200 shares traded.
Dehtrader, -$3984 on 1500 shares traded.

Wow, this market sure looks ugly. Remember a few weeks ago when I was talking about "September redux?" It looks like all those low volume rallies were just one big head fake.

Sheesh... how can a guy be so right and so wrong at the same time?

I tell you, life is funny and complex.

Not sure how many of you caught the banter between Dylan and Maria today between 3 and 4. Dylan said something about "people" and Maria, always the comedienne, said... get this... "Have your people call my people." She found that funny enough to giggle like a little girl.

I tell you, she is a real talent. How she ad-libs like that is beyond me. I'm amazed at her originality. Ah, and of course, because the market was getting smoked, she had to mention the "sell imbalances" which as I've mentioned before are published every day but are mentioned by Maria only when the market is down triple digits.

Sigh... score another for the "CNBC Stupidity" tag.

Anyway, no surprise in that volume blew yet again. We traded about 1.3 billion shares on the NYSE. Bad for humans (majority of the VO), just fine for robots (Misstrade).

Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Full Metal Christmas

It's crunch time for the elves.

full metal jacket christmas - Watch more free videos

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Ragin's Stock Contest, 2008

Go over to Ragin's "lively" site and tell him which stock you think will perform best in 2008.

I chose GAIA.

Unfortunately, since Ragin is a permabull, the assumption is that stocks will go up. Perhaps we need to run a mirror competition here for the best shorts of 2008.

Here's what you get if you win.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Weekend Open Thread

I'll be waking at 4am to go owling tomorrow for my local CBC, so I'm posting this Open Thread a little early.

Eastern screech-owl, red-morph. Photo courtesy of the Raptor Trust, New Jersey

Now is a great time of year to go owling. Next time there's a full moon, check with your local Audubon Society chapter and see if they're planning an owling trip. It's something that you won't forget.

Kermit The Frog, "Once In A Lifetime"

If this song is about having a nervous breakdown, it makes a little sense to post it today. It even makes more sense to have it sung by Kermie...


Chopped. No better way to explain it.

I'm hemorrhaging money. I can't recall a time in my entire trading career when I entered positions and was immediately out of the money each time... it's just uncanny and it seems statistically impossible.

Anyway, I've never been so relieved to have a very busy weekend ahead of me. I don't want down time because that would just make me think too much... I want to be constantly occupied or sleeping for the next 62 hours.

Not sure what happened to the days when volatility worked in my favor. We're getting huge moves in the indexes but I can't capitalize, making my situation even more frustrating.

Here's the stats:

P&L, -$1513
Best, DSL, $167
Worst, LDK, -$697

31,400 shares traded.
13 stocks traded, 2 winners. 11 losers.

NOTE: Just listened to "Across The Universe" by the Beatles. Feel much better now. Nothing's gonna change my world. We'll get em Monday.

Virtual Office, $161. Dow, -179, 13,338.96.

Evolution, $1048 on 110,000 shares traded.
OBAT, $396 on 12,600 shares traded.
Sanglucci, $220 on 8600 shares traded.
Dehtrader, $182 on 6368 shares traded.
Retard, $48 on 1 contract traded.
Wincity, no trades.
Akalawoo, no trades.
Misstrade, -$220 on 4000 shares traded.
Me, -$1513 on 31,400 shares traded.

Just over 1.2 billion shares traded on the piece of shit Hybrid Market today.

Fuck the NYSE.

If that's a little too negative for you, I suggest you go check out one of the bloggers who's currently making money, because I haven't a fucking clue.

Evolution had a great week.

I had a shitty week. In fact, I can't remember the last time I was so wrong so consistently, had so many issues with my systems and just plain sucked.

Clearly, my head is too clouded right now for me to write an intelligible market commentary.

Enjoy your weekend.

Belle & Sebastian, "Fuck This Shit"

Blur, "Resigned"

The #1 Rule Of Stock Trading

It's not, "Cut your losses short" or "Let your winners run."

No, the #1 rule of stock trading is simply this...


Ominous, yes... but true. Very, very true.

The Republican Presidential Field Is Hurtin'

Here's a funny video about Mike Huckabee.

The Law Of Fuckery

The Law of Fuckery: Those trades that appear most promising, are also the trades that will twist up your insides and ruin your day when they fail.

With all of the solars strong this morning, I gravitated to that sector to scan for trades.

I found LDK which appears to be flagging on the daily chart after it's recent strong run. I noticed that yesterday afternoon, $58 appeared to be fairly strong resistance. When it tested $58 again this morning, I decided to watch and wait for a break of that level so I could buy.

I caught the run up to $59, turning the stock into my best winner in days. However, I bought the stock again when it came back down to $58 since I now expected that level to act as support. This is where my troubles began.

As you can see, it broke $58 and shot back up. I exited my position when it broke $58 (and got an awful fill) but then anticipating the spring back, I bought again at $57.66. The stock teased me by trading $58 again, (where I added to my position) but that turned tail and cracked again.

It's now my worst stock of the day and I'm solidly red.

This week has been tough for me.

Neutral Milk Hotel, "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea"

If I can figure it out, I'm going to post this in the Peanut Gallery as well...

The Doors, "The Crystal Ship"

I'm in a music mood today... here's one for you old people!

Dinosaur Jr. "Just Like Heaven"

Take a classic song from "the Cure" and add a touch of sarcasm. Perfection.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Special Alert From The Mainstream Media

If you are unfortunate or, well, stupid enough to live in the Northeast, snow and sleet is currently "wrecking havoc" in your community.

If you go outside, you're risking your life. This is a "killer snowstorm" that has left scores dead in the Midwest.

You are being "pounded" with it.

Don't even think about stepping away from your television to see what it's like to stand on your front lawn and listen to snowflakes hit the ground in the silence of the evening.

That would be crazy. You risk slipping on your steps and breaking a few ribs.

Then, your insurance company would screw you.

Don't drive your car. You will surely die in a car accident or be stranded when your car slides into a snowbank and die there.

Gather candles, blankets and food.

Stay inside. Watch TV.

Keep watching for more alerts.

Breakout Trading

All you need to know about trading breakouts from the Option Addict.

Animal Collective, "Banshee Beat"


I don't even want to get into it. I'm shot.

Here's the stats:

P&L, -$619
Best, CNS, $235
Worst, BEN, -$380

28,400 shares traded.
13 stocks traded. 5 winners, 8 losers.

Virtual Office, $2757, Dow, +44.06, 13,517.96.

Evolution, $2807 on 97,200 shares traded.
Dehtrader, $933 on 2654 shares traded.
OBAT, $120 on 12,000 shares traded.
Akalawoo, $26 on 2 contracts traded.
Misstrade, no trades.
Wincity, no trades.
Sanglucci, -$102 on 24,800 shares traded.
Denarii, -$408 on 3000 shares traded.
Me, -$619 on 28,400 shares traded.

Goddamn! CNBC teased that baseball steroids report all day long. At one point, they went so far to stop a legitimate interview in order to let everyone know that Roger Clemens was on steroids.

Then, when ex-Senator Mitchell came on, I felt as if I had been drugged. What slow state is that dude from? Note to Senator Mitchell: humans can process more than 20 spoken words a minute.

We traded about 1.4 billion shares on the NYSE today. Oh, and I fucking hate robots.

Due to a communication problem I'm having with the "retards" (go figure) I may not be posting their number (numbers?) until tomorrow. I think we need to be patient with them...

The Baseball Steroids Report

This guy, George Mitchell, what is he the baseball commissioner? He's the most boring public speaker I have ever heard. I literally fell asleep while he was talking.

UPDATE: He's not the commissioner... he's an ex-Senator. A really dull ex-Senator.

"Retard" To Join The VO

Back in elementary school, being labeled a "retard" was about the worst thing possible. There was one thing worse, being labeled a "gay."

Anyway, imagine purposefully labelling yourself a "retard" and then revelling in this image by creating a whole "retard world" that you reigned over.

I find it all a little disturbing... not to mention politically incorrect.

I mean, I guess if you label yourself a "retard trader" that you're setting your expectations low as far as your trading abilities go. You figure, well, if I do poorly everyone will understand why... if I do well, I win!

I guess it's a way to take the pressure off.

However you open yourself up to different pressures, like being attacked by an army of "retards" and their killing robots.

With that, I reluctantly welcome the Retard Trader to our humble Virtual Office. I'll say this, they have the best looking site in the VO despite their impaired mental faculties.

The White Stripes, "Black Math"

Dedicated to the wizards who orchestrated the subprime mess. Happy holidays!

Special Message To The Mods At Elitetrader

I've been graced with another link from your site.

You know, once before, I was linked and so I joined your site and just wrote a brief intro (in the same thread where I was linked) about my VO.

In return, my post was removed and I received a sarcasm laden message from your moderator who goes by the name "Magma" or something like that.... as in, "spew me with your hot magma." Perhaps it was "Magnum"... as in the condom brand.

Anyway, you guys are idiots. Quickly remove the link to my site before your readership finds another site worth reading.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

"Selling Out" (Part 8)

(Note: Since I've gained more readers in the time that I first posted the history posts (months ago, I know, I'm sorry) I figured I'd link the two previous to this one. If you want to put this post in context, I suggest reading at least these two first.) Part 6. Part 7.

After my "interview" with Peter, conflict set in.

I grew up in a middle class household that placed zero emphasis on materialism; my mother was a nurse and my father was an educator. I went to public schools.

Somehow I managed to get accepted to an Ivy League college. There, for the first time in my life, I felt poor.

All of my new "college friends" had attended private schools and had connected parents and fancy summer homes. They didn't cook themselves pasta every night and get "work study" jobs so they could afford books. They didn't seem "normal" to me. They would get excellent summer internships because some guy owed their father a favor, while I got stoned and served up "fish'n'chips" all summer at a local Bennigan's.

It built character.

The point is, me working on Wall Street seemed kind of wrong. I felt like I would be "selling out" or joining this "culture of money" that I'd been observing, somewhat critically, from the outside. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to head in that direction.

I had drinks with my best friend Sam to express my concern. He told me I was nuts.

"Fuck it. Make money and then become a monk."

He worked for the State Department and was on his way to South America. "It's crazy down there." He explained. "Everyone wants to kill somebody."

I didn't have to worry about that stuff. I just had the plastic smell of my keyboard and the gentle hum of my computer to think about.

"Make money and then become a monk." It was excellent advice.

I was young. I'd have plenty of time to work out my life's details later. Sam and I drank a good amount that evening. As I watched him walk down a wet street in Brooklyn to hail a cab back to the city, I could never have guessed how different everything would be for us both in just a few months.

Now that I had worked out any lingering doubts about working on "the Street" I had to begin studying for the Series 7.

Studying for "The Seven" is an exercise in monotony and memorization. I didn't try too hard to absorb what I was reading, because I knew I wasn't going to be selling securities products; I just had to pass in order to trade. While the study book was gigantic and all the material completely new to me, I only gave myself three weeks to absorb it all and take the exam.

Those three weeks are more or less a blur now.

I'd study for the first few hours of the morning, then break at 11 to drink coffee, have a cigar (I started smoking cigars because I thought it would put me in a "Wall Street" frame of mind... kind of like method acting), and watch "carnies and fat people" beat each other up on the Jerry Springer show. After Springer, I'd study until Judy came home.

When I had taken every practice exam and memorized every question I set a date to take the test. I don't remember much other than the instantaneous scoring. It's a scary process. You study for weeks, sit and take a 6 hour exam and learn right away whether all that work was worth it or not.

Happily, I passed. I haven't smoked a cigar or watched Jerry Springer since.

The next day I was back at Anvil Capital in the small hot room "papertrading."

Radiohead, "Ceremony" (New Order cover)

Dazed And Confused

Here's my blotter for the day. I'm publishing the full thing to give you some idea of how completely crappy I traded.

JLL $115.81
LDK -$41.75
BBD -$56.12
OSK -$60.34
MBI -$63.91
WNR -$102.47
ABK -$119.42
ITU -$124.64
TSL -$174.50

Out of all the trades I made today, I think only two were in the money for any period of time. It's like I was completely wrong, over and over. I'll go through some of them. I don't really feel like writing colorfully... I'm exhausted and pissed off, so bear with the dryness.

First trade of the day. Buy 300 RWT at the open. Below you'll find a 1-minute graph.

You see what happened. It dropped over a point in that minute and then shot right back up. What could I do? I sold. I lost about 60 cents. Fine. Bad trade. Thin market with no size on any bid or offer.


You see the circled area? That's where I traded this stock. Solars were strong and TSL was breaking it's opening range. So I bought 200 shares at $50.88. The stock popped over $51 so I bought 100 more and was filled at $51.14. I moved my sell-stop up to $50.60. It traded back down, through my stop and filled me at $50.39. Loss booked.

ITU. Well, perhaps I shouldn't have been trading in the middle of the day. Anyway, I got into the trade just after noon when he looked like he was breaking the low of the day. This was happening just as the market was weakening further so I felt pretty good about it actually.

Bad entry. It popped up and took my stop out up at $28.25. So it broke lower. Very frustrating. I got short again, this time with a smaller position size. It immediately popped back up to the figure and (breaking a rule) I doubled my position. This was around 1pm and the market looked like it was about to turn, so I covered, taking a small loss and.... I got long. I made a few pennies on the trade and... it went higher. Pissed that I had released my initial position, I bought again, pu near the high of the move. I sold half for a few pennies gain, but then sold the other half when the stock retreated again to the figure, for a 20 cent loss.

So, I churned the stock. Also, the stock was stuck in a pretty tight range. I didn't take a huge loss on this stock for the day, (-$125) but on a day where I couldn't find a winner, it stung nonetheless.

Anyway, those are my three worst stocks of the day. Frustrating losses.

But the real story of my day is that I just couldn't find any winners for me. That's why I left to go surfing. I was feeling defeated and I'm pretty sure you can't trade right when you're expecting to lose.

I don't feel like I can take too much away from today. Hopefully tomorrow goes better.

I feel like I'm braindead.

Here's the stats:
P&L, -$900
Best, JLL, $116
Worst, RWT, -$241

11,600 shares traded.
11 stocks traded, 1 winner, 10 losers.

Virtual Office, $5524. Dow, +41.13, 13,473.90

Misstrade, $8243 on 6000 shares traded.
Sanglucci, $784 on 30,800 shares traded.
OBAT, $294 on 6000 shares traded.
Wincity, no trades.
Akalawoo, no trades.
Denarii, -$3 on 744 shares traded.
Dehtrader, -$194 on 1570 shares traded.
Me, -$900 on 11,600 shares traded.
Evolution, -$2700 on 6000 shares traded.

Solid volume at the NYSE today. We traded 1.7 billion shares. However, the VIX declined 1.12 to 22.47.

The FED opened up more liquidity to the market today, a day after cutting interest rates 25 bp. The market gapped up huge at the open and then sold off all day long. The sell-off accelerated at around 3pm and the market dipped into the red. The last 30 minutes saved the bulls.

Looks like it was a pretty great day to trade. I fucked it all up.

The silver lining is that Esignal worked like a charm today. Go figure.

Anyway, onto the daily post.

Going Surfing

Take that OSK trade, multiply it by 6 or 7 and you have my day.

I'm frustrated beyond belief. I need to clear my head.

There are waves today for the first time in weeks. While the water temp is a chilly 44 degrees, fuck it, I'm going surfing.

So the VO will be late. I'll be on the bottom.

Oh, and there's like a 90% chance that I'll have a "history" post up either later tonight or by tomorrow morning.


The worst thing about this trade is that I thought I was being "careful." But man, it sums up my day.

I bought around $49 when it showed increasing volume and then I bought 100 more when it broke the OR around $49.30. I sold some up near the top, but then added more when it came back down to my original entry.

This time, the $49 level didn't hold and it broke through and stopped me out of my full position at $48.75.

So, I turned a winner into a loser. Very frustrating.

Bears On Fire

You only need to watch the first 30 seconds to get the point...

Schizophrenic Market

Wow, after we got drubbed yesterday, the futures have bounced 15 points. I'm happy I went out flat yesterday because with my bearish slant I could have easily gotten sucked into the market on the short side.

Meanwhile, Dummyspots gets it right again. I couldn't agree more, Will.

UPDATE: The FED just set the futures on fire. They will use swap lines and auctions coordinated with the ECB to address liquidity issues.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Virtual Office, $12,158. Dow, -294.26, 13,432.77.

Misstrade, $12,140 on 6500 shares traded.
Evolution, $3266 on 31,400 shares traded.
Me, $277 on 5200 shares traded.
Akalawoo, $118 on 1 contract traded.
OBAT, $65 on 7600 shares traded.
Wincity, $56 on 260 shares traded.
Denarii, no trades.
Sanglucci, -$641 on 14,200 shares traded.
Dehtrader, -$3123 on 3698 shares traded.

You can't expect the FED to save the market all the time, can you? I mean, if I recall, they didn't even want to cut 50bp in September. Then someone hinted that no more cuts were coming at all and the market sold off hard for a good part of November.

I think they're really worried about inflation. Recessions come and go... inflation could be more of a long term problem.

I think cutting by 25bp was a good move. Let the market do some of the lifting too.

I didn't do much the first part of the day. And once the news hit Esignal promptly slowed down making it nearly impossible to trade such a fast moving market... so I didn't do much the second half of the day either...what a nightmare.

A crazy day in the VO... big gains and some big losses. We traded just over 1.4 billion shares which counts as "decent volume" nowadays on the NYSE...sigh....

Anyway, let's hope this makes trading interesting again. It's great to have the FED out of the way. Frontwards!

NOTE: My daily post will be late.

UPDATE: Apologies, but no daily post. I fell asleep putting my daughter to sleep and I just can't go in and turn the computers on again.

Hey, Look Who Showed Up!

Too bad Esignal is busy "shitting the shower."

New Pet Peeve

Admittedly, I have many pet peeves, but this one is really annoying and it has to do with internet advertising.

Yesterday, "Secatogue Henry" sent me an email that included a video. I opened the video but somehow the audio just didn't match the footage. I had "rolled over" some damn "Gap" ad that immediately started playing a "lively" video, audio and all, ruining my internet experience.

The thing about these ads is that they're normally banner ads. They're strategically placed between your cursor and the address bar on your browser so they're really easy to roll over. So while I'm sure they enjoy a fairly high "play rate" due to their subversive positioning, I'm also sure they mostly piss people off.

Not that I needed another reason to hate "the Gap." I've hated that company ever since they (along with Starbucks) bought every corner of NYC, "laming up" the city.

NOTE: The spellchecker in Blogger doesn't recognize the word "internet." Ironic.

Fucking Robots

He's not very good...

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Libertines, "Cant Stand Me Now"

Slow Day, Slow Graphs

Listen, I've decided that Esignal has the worst customer service department in the country. My graphs are slow. That's about as basic a problem that a stock trader can have but still, they can't help me fix it.

So I ask you, kind internet reader, if you use Esignal and have some magic cure for slow graphs, please either email me directly or comment below.

So since I couldn't pull up graphs this morning I had a slow day. I didn't plan on trading much today anyway, so I guess in a weird way it works out.

My trade of the day came in DSL.

When the MBI news was pending this morning, I saw a lot of the financial stocks jumping. DSL was holding back, so I bought a little around $37.50 and decided to add some should it break and test $38. As you can see, this came to pass and I sold near the highs of the day, just as CNBC reported on a frozen BAC money market fund.

Other than that, I really didn't do too much. I can't wait for tomorrow to come and go. I have some money to make back before Christmas.

Everyone knows Santa hates poor people.

Here's the stats:
Best, DSL,
Worst, ALB,
3200 shares traded.

5 stocks traded, 3 winners, 2 losers.

Virtual Office, $1947. Dow, +101.45, 13,727.03.

Evolution, $1040 on 89,800 shares traded.
Me, $563 on 3200 shares traded.
Sanglucci, $553 on 13,200 shares traded.
Wincity, $70 on 300 shares traded.
OBAT, $65 on 7200 shares traded.
Denarii, $22 on 4500 shares traded.
Misstrade, no trades.
Akalawoo, no trades.
Dehtrader, -$366 on 4500 shares traded.

Looked like today was a great morning to trade the financial stocks. However, since I use Esignal I wasn't allowed to trade.

Yes, even though I "shut down and restart" like 5 times, my graphs just wouldn't speed up. When the whole "shut down and restart" thing failed to produce faster graphs, the customer service rep's head exploded. He was out of bullets.

So much for "computer science" majors, huh?

Anyway, you know the story. Everyone is waiting on Uncle Ben tomorrow. Volume was thinner than skim milk as we only traded 1.1 billion shares on the NYSE.

Still, the VO made lemonade out of lemons. We had a decent day.


Robots Looking To Take Over World

Another reason to hate robots.

Unfortunately, the writer of the linked article didn't mention the "hybrid market" as another robot that kills.

"The People" Versus Ragin Cajun

As some of you now know, Ragin Cajun (club name "the Rage"), stole from my site this weekend without crediting the artist known as "Secatogue Henry."

I posted "Secatogue's" response over in the Peanut Gallery.

Soon, there will be a contest in the PG to determine if any of its posters are worthy of "gettin' tabbed." Clearly, this theft was a lame attempt by "the Rage" to gain some popularity in the PG.

I am surprised that RC felt the need to "go negative" so early in the race to "get tabbed." Clearly, he understands that picking popular stocks and pasting crazy price targets on them (just because other stocks have made similar moves) won't win him internet glory via his own I.B.C tab.

While this theft is unfortunate it is not surprising coming from "the Gayjun." Sources tell me that in addition to being a serial plagiarizer, RC is also a hater of cute little babies, free market capitalism, and he doesn't "support our troops."

After consulting with "Secatogue" we decided that an intellectual property lawsuit against RC was out of the question. He just doesn't have anything worth suing over. While the fluorescent velvet Elvis poster was tempting on some levels, we let it go.

Instead, RC will get his comeuppance via internet revenge.

UPDATE: "Secatogue Henry" wins again!

Esignal Customer Service Sucks

Been on the phone with Esignal all morning.

They suck.

In the end, they told me to close down the program, turn off my computer, and turn it back on again.

It still doesn't work.

Perhaps they should spend less on their advertising and more on their customer service representatives.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Open Thread



(h/t "Secatogue Henry")

Friday, December 7, 2007

They Might Be Giants, "Minimum Wage"

I redefined "minimum wage" this week as I lost 3500 smackers.


What a week...

I don't have too much to write about today. It was one of those days where I thought I was maybe down $200 and then I opened my P&L and found myself down $800. I just couldn't get a winner.

This weekend will be spent going through stock graphs and trying to figure out what went wrong this past week.

One thing I figured out today though was this. Normally, I use 5-minute graphs. When the market is really slow and not volatile, I think I'll use 10 or 15 minute graphs. For some reason, when I have my stocks set to longer time frames, I trade less.

Here's the stats:
P&L, -$963
Best, MBI, $182
Worst, MOS, -$473

18,400 shares traded.
17 stocks traded. 4 winners, 13 losers.

Virtual Office, $0. Dow, +5.69, 13,625.58.

Dehtrader, $1170 on 8004 shares traded.
Denarii, $40 on 2000 shares traded.
OBAT, $29 on 13,800 shares traded.
Misstrade, no trades.
Wincity, no trades.
Sanglucci, -$276 on 16,600 shares traded.
Me, -$963 on 18,800 shares traded.

It's fucked up that the VO closed exactly at $0, no?

We didn't even get to the pathetic level of 1.2 billion shares on the NYSE today. I find this somewhat surprising since we received the employment data this morning. Hopefully things pick up after Tuesday. However, since this is September redux, my new feeling is that traders will be disappointed if they're waiting for action after Tuesday.

Indeed, my new feeling is that the profession of stock trading is dead.

While that may be an exaggeration brought on by my poor trading this week it's true that I don't see a light at the end of the low volatility tunnel.

Finally, I want to point out that after yesterday's Virtual Office post sparked a little debate about the blogger known as Misstrade that I invited him to provide a post to answer his critics.

He declined.

Enjoy your weekend. I will have an open thread up. Please feel free to link-whore your blog there. And naturally, I will also be giving away billions in prize money.

Finally, Ragin is still gay.