Saturday, August 30, 2008

All Hail Dinosaur Trader!

I offer the following as a sign of peace to the great and all mighty Dinosaur Trader, because I am now seriously fearful that DT will not only come back, pin me down, and taunt me with a spit ball blob - but he'll have his ipod charged and will play "his music" non-stop into my ears as a form of revenge for the light hearted changes I have made to his blog. Hopefully, seeing our wonderful leader in action will aggravate him enough to make him forget all about his much younger, much cuter, sister and her blog posts in his absence.

Friday, August 29, 2008

McCain: Genius or Idiot?

I have no idea who this woman is that McCain picked for his VP. I'll say this for him - he knows how to steal Obama's thunder, and has a great sense of timing. Question of the night: If Obama had chosen Hillary as his VP, would McCain have chosen an African-American for his VP?

For those of you who speak in three-letter acronyms, fear not: I'm assuming DT will be back from his camping trip sometime over this weekend and his boring blue blog will shortly return. Therefore, I will be leaving the country so he cannot find me, pin me down, and taunt me with a big spit blob hanging over my face like he used to when we were little.

Dinosaur Trader Identity Revealed

Well, a girl has to do what a girl has to do - and so many of you came forward with bottles of grey goose and limes, that I am compelled to reveal the identity of the Dinosaur Trader. Now, by doing so, I am forced to reveal my own identity as well - so I am putting not only the trader, but my own family, into grave and mortal danger with this move. Just remember, that which does not kill you, only makes you stronger.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Turtleman - "Snapper-Licious"

This is an amazing video and I don't know how I missed it.

Marvel at (and be jealous of) the pure satisfaction displayed with this guy's calling/talent:

I want to have a drink (Gatorade, of course) and a smoke with this guy and hear all about the chainsaw story. Dang.

Who IS Dinosaur Trader, Really?

Many of you have emailed me in earnest to reveal the true identity of the Dinosaur Trader. While I may have sabotaged his little blog here while he is off camping with scary people in the woods, I still have to respect my family, people! What do you think I am, some cold-hearted bitch that would sell out her brother's identity to a bunch of anonymous traders on the Internet??? Please.

So, if you want to see a picture of DT by the end of the day, you better start coughing up the dough. I accept cash, cash, or cases of grey goose. With limes.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Bill Clinton is a God

That was a great speech, and Obama should be kissing up to Bill and Hillary for the rest of his life! This country really needs to re-think that two term rule. Give them a few years off, and then hey - if they want to run again, I say let em!

Erin Burnett interviewing James Altucher

Yep, that about sums it up for me, too.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Hillary Wins in a Landslide

Not even close - after watching both speeches, Hillary Clinton clearly out spoke, and in my humble opinion, outshone Michelle Obama.

And here is some perspective that you would never hear from DT: Whoever dressed Michelle Obama last night in a blue-green dress that completely blended into the blue background is an idiot. It is all about the contrasting colors! Note the bright orange pantsuit that Clinton wore - ugly? Hell yes.

But she definitely didn't blend into the background, now did she?

Vintage Video of DT

Little known fact: Dinosaur Trader used to take dance classes as a tot. In a tragic twist, his older sister became the more famous dancer of the two, dashing his dreams of becoming a professional dancer. Here is some rare video that may, or may not, feature DT.

A Trifecta!

Gotta love You Tube. First, I know for a fact that the song "Wise Up" by Aimee Mann is beloved by the Dinosaur Trader. Actually, the sister likes it too. So, imagine my delight when I find a video featuring Sawyer, the ultimate bad boy from Lost. DT hates any mass produced television show, even a great one like Lost.

So, I complete the trifecta by posting it tonight, when Hillary speaks at the DNC. It is too late for Obama to "wise up" however, since he has passed her over as veep. Mark my words - she'll be back!

Monday, August 25, 2008

MSNBC = Water Torture

Since my brother has abandoned his post of blog master, I have decided to try and watch the Democratic National Convention so that I can post some thoughts here, in his place.

First off, let me just say that I normally never watch MSNBC, or CNN, or any other political-news channel. All I have seen so far are overweight white guys with bad hair, in matching navy blue suits, making the same lame comments over and over again. Who the hell are these guys?

And I'm going out on a stereotypical limb here, but I'm guessing the demographics of MSNBC are mostly male. So, where are all the good looking female anchors to hook you with? Because if you are watching this channel just to hear these guys talk - then you all need to get some new hobbies. Oh wait - a female Kennedy is about to talk.... the interest level should pick up now....

Hillary's Theme Song

Since the DNC began, I thought a musical posting from Hillary to Obama would be appropriate. Oh, and Obama? Stop sending me mail, cause you ain't getting a dime. I'm saving it for Hill's 2012 campaign against McCain.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Obama loves Biden

Well, it is official. Obama is a stubborn motherfucker and has chosen Joe Biden as his running mate. While Dinosister still thinks that HILLARY CLINTON would have been the far stronger presidential candidate, the rest of democratic America was duped by Obama's smile and his hypnotic gaze.

Say what you will about Clinton, but the press slammed her and kissed Obama's ass the entire time. While I will begrudgingly vote for him in November, I will also be looking forward to watching the press rip him a new one as he stumbles and makes mistakes in public - as most humans do.

And since the press loves to prey on the mistakes of public figures, why should he be exempt?

As for Biden, I can't say anything bad against a man who, after losing his wife and young child and watching his other two children struggle to live after a horrific holiday time car accident decades ago- still takes that day off from work each year in their memory. Hopefully that is a true story about his character, and not some propaganda that the Obama Dream Machine is sending out to the masses.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Dinosaur Trader: The Early Years

In a shocking past, DT regularly watched the soap opera General Hospital, and had a fabulous Barbie collection. If I remember correctly, Ken was his favorite.

I would beg him to play Star Wars, GI Joe, or Matchbox cars with me instead, all to no avail. He would push Ken around in the pink corvette for hours on the wood floors, stopping occasionally to pick up Skipper or Barbie. He also loved the extra large Barbie head where you could style her hair and apply various shades of azure eye shadow to her lids.

In terms of his musicality back then, besides being a huge Jack Wagner fan, he really loved Rick Springfield's music and would play the album "Working Class Dog" virtually non-stop.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Happy Porn Thursday!

Dear Dinosaur Trader,
I thought for a special Porn Thursday treat, I would find a clip that combines your love of music and Brangelina.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Bill Gross' Hair

First, all respect to the man and PIMCO.

Second, I wonder if there is some kind of explanation to the lopsidedness of the hair?

If you study his face from the left-side edge, you'll notice that a huge chunk of hair always stands out. It's especially noticeable in the second picture:

I mean, it's nowhere near Trump standard but every time I see him on CNBC I can't help but gaze in wonderment, curiosity that it is.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

We Interrupt This Hijacking

For those of you around from the beginning of Dinosaur Time, you will note that DT hates to fly. It is one of the few things we share in common as siblings.

Unfortunately, I will be 36,000 feet up in the air for most of the next two days, but feel free to email me your accolades and your respect for the Lloyd Dobbler posting below.

Fear not, I will reward your silly patience with a special posting Thursday evening to celebrate what DT lamely refers to as "Porn Thursday."

The Best 80s Movie

I love Lloyd Dobbler. DT probably thinks he is a douche-bag, which is why I chose to put this clip up for his 23 viewers. If you don't feel Lloyd's pain at the end of this clip, then you are clearly a republican robot. Seriously.

Go Hillary!

Thanks to DT and his fanatic support, my girl was pushed to the side by the "non-politician" - the "I'm not going to play with those Washington bad boys" - the "a different kind of politics" Obama.

Hmmm, I'm sorry, but hasn't OBAMA turned into quite the politician lately? Flipping over and changing sides more often than a gay cowboy. (note to any gay cowboys who read this now 10th tiered blog: sorry.)

The point is, the sister thinks Hillary would have had the cahones to beat McCain. Obama? Not so much....

Feel free to send my brother "I told you the fuck so" emails when McCain beats Obama, and raises the price of organic granola to $72 a box.

Monday, August 18, 2008

now this is music

Now this is music!
True statement: DT sported this gay hairdo not too long ago.
And, I'm fairly certain he owned the same jacket that Jack is sporting here.


That's right. I've had enough of this blog shit, thinking you are the best dinosaur in the family. Right now, you are camping like some crunchy granola freak in your tent with Judy, and no internet access.

From now on, this is MY site, and you are my dinosaur bitch. Traders of the world, (or the 7 of you who regularly tune in to read DTs crappy posts) I give you the real talent in the family: Dinosister.

Be prepared to cough up lots of your oily dough to send my way, and I'll reward your sorry asses with the real dirt on DT. Oh, and I'll replace his crappy music with the real deal. Be prepared for some changes around here - there is a new dinosaur in town, and she's ready to rip you all a new one for putting up with this inane blog for so long.

I will accept opening bids no lower than $5,000 to spill the DT beans.

guess which one is the dinosaur

Guess which one would be the dinosaur, if I was actually his brother and not his cooler sister?

Friday, August 15, 2008

Jane's Addiction, "Stop"

Vacation time for me. Not sure what you can expect here at the blog. Probably something, because when I walk away from this desk and interact with people, odd shit tends to happen.

The RO Report, "Living Manliness" Edition

A muddy day. No volume. Yes, you see the NYSE traded close to 1.2 billion, but it was OPEX Friday. So chop those 200 million extra shares at the open and we're the lowest volume day of the year, again... Still, the RO made lemonade out of the lemons... or, pebbles out of rocks... or Poland Spring out of tap water...

Anyway, I'm just gonna get to the numbers. I don't have too much color. I was busy doing manly shit all day... like hanging molding and ripping nails out of walls, just for the fun of it.

Out of 21 traders, 11 were positive, or 52%. I was #10 out of 21.

Here are the top 5:

1. Trader B, $4,980 on 322k shares traded.
2. Trader C, $4,095 on 158k shares traded.
3. Trader Z, $3,530 on 80k shares traded.
4. Trader F, $2,985 on 80k shares traded.
5. Trader #1, $1,519 on 18,600 shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader D, -$1,888 on 79k shares traded.
2. Trader U, -$808 on 100 shares traded.
3. Trader H, -$764 on 5,800 shares traded.
4. Trader J, -$706 on 39,800 shares traded.
5. Trader T, -$420 on 2,100 shares traded.

Living Manliness

This morning, after I went surfing, I stopped to get some coffee. I was feeling charitable, so I picked one up for Judy as well.

When I got to the counter to pay, I even decided to pick up a blueberry and banana smoothie for my daughter. I was in a really good mood.

Anyway, so I had two large coffees and a smoothie. I paid, and the woman asked me if I wanted a carrying tray.

"No thanks," I said. "I got it." I felt really green, and I could see that my masculinity was almost too much for the woman to bear... I stacked the three cups and head for the door.

My car was probably 200 feet from the coffee shop. It became clear to me as I walked down the steps, that the cups were in a rather precarious position and that the bottom of the paper coffee cup was digging uncomfortably into my thumb.

But I soldiered on, carrying the cups in that position, through the pain, and even managed to smile at a couple of people as I passed. I could see, by the expressions on their faces, that they thought I was one "bad customer" carrying the cups like that.

When I got to the car, there was an indent in my thumb. I didn't even complain about it much to myself in my head. I just told myself, "shit like that happens to tough guys" and I got in my car and drove home, ready to battle the markets.

Dinosaur Trader... trader, tough guy.


-Don Delillo

He drove along turnpikes and skyways, seeing Manhattan come and go in a valium sunset, smoky and golden. The car wobbled in the sound booms of highballing trucks, drivers perched in tall cabs with food, drink, dope and pornography, and the rigs seemed to draw the little car down the pike in their sheering wind. He drove past enormous tank farms, squat white cylinders arrayed across the swampland, and he saw white dome tanks in smaller groupings and long lines of tank cars rolling down the tracks. He went past power pylons with their spindly arms akimbo. He drove into the spewing smoke of acres of burning truck tires and the planes descended and the transit cranes stood in rows at the marine terminal and he saw billboards for Hertz and Avis and Chevy Blazer, for Marlboro, Continental and Goodyear, and he realized that all the things around him, the planes taking off and landing, the streaking cars, the tires on the cars, the cigarettes that the drivers of the cars were dousing in their ashtrays--all these were on the billboards around him, systematically linked in some self-referring relationship that had a kind of neurotic tightness, an inescapability, as if the billboards were generating reality, and of course he thought of Dinosaur Trader.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Pixies, "Ana"

Points for whoever can figure out the "secret message" of this song. And no, it has nothing to do with Marilyn Monroe...

Hint: The last line of the song...

ALSO: My blogroll is still fucked up... apologies. I will soon have plenty of time to fix this place up a bit.

The RO Report, "Porn Thursday" Edition

Okay, not sure if I'll be getting the numbers this evening. I know it was a tough day overall, with Trader Z being the only one up size, $8k. There were a couple of large drawdowns (Trader A was down $11gs by noon) and then a lot of static in between... about 50% were up and 50% were down.

I was up. At noon, I was #6 of 25 traders.

Look, summer is officially here. It's not even Friday and we BARELY edged over a billion shares on the NYSE. My advice to you... don't churn a sleepy market. It is a good way to kill your confidence and "ass mangle" your capital.

I will update this post should I get the numbers.

Go watch the Zorb video again... it's classic.

See you tomorrow.

Getting Closer...

While the shark has disappeared, the first storm is intensifying and moving due west, towards the Gulf. Expect this to become a topic of discussion on CNBC over the next couple of days if it develops into a hurricane.

Action Colleen!

This may be one of my favorite Internet videos ever... if only the Zorb could get to CNBC headquarters to take out Maria...

Hot Reporter Completely Owned by Zorb - Watch more free videos

NOTE: I'm seriously addicted to this video... it's perfect.

Another Guy Who Shouldn't Be A Trader

Old guy would lose his shirt... "sonamabich" behind the counter on the other hand, has a good shot at success.

Angry Old Man Cant Take a Joke - Watch more free videos

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Belle & Sebastian, "Dirty Dream Number 2"

Great lyrics, one of my favorite B&S songs. Thought it appropriate given the "spray" version of the RO.

The RO Report, "Spray" Edition

It's always great when you see a trader who works really hard, have their best day ever. Today, Trader C traded like an absolute lunatic, in a low volume, summer market, and kicked ass.

It wasn't easy... he swung from up $14k, to down $5k (in a matter of 30 minutes) and then back up to close at his highs of the day. In RO parlance, he "sprayed" the office, as in, marked his territory. Told everyone, "don't fuck with me" and made loot.

It was actually a good day for many traders, which I found surprising, and yes, frustrating. Out of 24 traders, 17 were positive, or 71%. 11 traders were up gross $1000 or more. I was number 15 of 24.

To give more depth to the RO, to "round it out" a bit, I've decided to list the top 5 and bottom 5 each day instead of just the top 3. Also, contact me (only serious inquiries.. email under profile) if you're interested in learning more about the RO, as in, joining my company.

Hence, DT is hiring.

Anyway, here's the numbers:

The Top 5:

1. Trader C, $27,077 on 564k shares traded.
2. Trader B, $8,726 on 428k shares traded.
3. Trader D, $7,140 on 143k shares traded.
4. Trader F, $5,720 on 180k shares traded.
5. Trader J, $4,810 on 83k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader P, -$884 on 108k shares traded.
2. Trader #2, -$710 on 30k shares traded.
3. Trader U, -$387 on 2,400 shares traded.
4. Trader A, -$323 on 310k shares traded.
5. Trader H, -$256 on 11k shares traded.

NOTE: Also, anyone interested in "guest blogging" for the last 2 weeks of August, please email me. I'm taking off.


CNN is covering a window washer platform collapse at a Florida hotel.


-non newsworthy window washer, August 2008

The only thing that would make this legitimate news is if Brangelina's baby was somehow on that platform.

DT Is Hiring!


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Gil Scott Heron, "Whitey On The Moon"

The RO Report

I traded very actively today, mostly because I lost money early and had to stick around to try and make it back... luckily, I did.

In fact, that pretty much sums up the day for the RO. It was a complete and total bloodbath in the morning, with only 3 or 4 traders gross positive. By the end of the day, things got better.

Still, it wasn't exactly a great day... volume on the NYSE is officially at "summer doldrum" levels, and it's a good time to get some sun. Many traders (including me) are planning on taking off the entire last 2 weeks of the month.

Anyway, out of 22 traders today, 11 were positive, or 50%. I was #10 of 22.

Here's the top 3:

1. Trader Z, $8,605 on 114k shares traded.
2. Trader C, $6,076 on 220k shares traded.
3. Trader A, $4,845 on 223k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader B, -$22,750 on 616k shares traded.
2. Trader G, -$3,576 on 35k shares traded.
3. Trader D, -$2,504 on 372k shares traded.

McCain's Georgia Speech

"the Democratic Republic of Georgia, pictured here, in 2008, before the war.

Not sure if his speechwriters were smoking herb when they wrote this speech, but McCain (who, incidentally, said "my friends" 821 times during the 5 minute speech) called Georgia a "brave little nation" and then a "tiny little democracy" and then finished off by saying, "Today, we're all Georgians." WTF?

When does the Disney movie come out?

Another Person Who Should Never, EVER Trade

Goofy Kid Gets Ultimate Wedgie - Watch more free videos

Monday, August 11, 2008

Sonic Youth, "The Diamond Sea"

The RO Report

It was a pretty rough day for the RO today. Most traders were deep in the red until the end of the day. I find this market strange in that it seems to be easier to make money at the end of the day, than at the beginning.

Anyway, I don't have much color since I only traded a half day...

Out of 23 traders, 12 were positive, or 52%. I was #8 of 24. Note "Trader #1," who wasn't in the office the day I made the alphabet list. In the future, if there are new members that didn't make the original list, they'll be assigned numbers.

Here are the top 3:

1. Trader H $7,880 on 15k shares traded.
2. Trader D $4,137 on 452k shares traded.
3. Trader B $2,532 on 514k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader A -$17,478 on 46k shares traded.
2. Trader Z -$8,929 on 78k shares traded.
3. Trader #1 -$2,478 on 75k shares traded.

Two Possible Hurricanes, One Gigantic Shark

2 potential hurricanes are forming in the lower Atlantic. While that news is bad, what makes it much worse is the presence of a gargantuan shark, following just behind the storm systems. Note the large, menacing fin.

Should these systems continue westward, they could confront and damage some of the oil rigs that reside in the Gulf Of Mexico. My theory (non-scientific) is that after injuring the rigs, the great oil shark will come and eat them, thereby sending the price of Natty Gas and Oil through the roof.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Smog, "River Guard"

The RO Report

Well, another Friday, another smokefest in the RO. It was painful out there for most of the traders. Until around 3:00, less than 20% of the office was gross positive.

Luckily, things turned around somewhat, but still, it was ugly. Out of 22 traders, 12 were positive, or 54%. I was #9 of 22.

Anyway, have a good weekend. Summer is on the wane... have some fun.

Here's the top:

1. Trader A, $26,241 on 203k shares traded.
2. Trader Z, $7,165 on 191k shares traded.
3. Trader H, $4,565 on 5k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader D, -$20,129 on 610k shares traded.
2. Trader B, -$16,366 on 1.2mil shares traded.
3. Trader F, -$5,224 on 201k shares traded.

Another Person Who Shouldn't Be A Trader...

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Fleet Foxes, "Blue Ridge Mountains"

Wow, they played Letterman. This is Judy's favorite song by them. She said a couple of things about this performance... first off, she said the lead singer's hair was a bit "shinier" than usual. She also said that they seemed nervous in the beginning, but then pulled it together. Great song.

The RO Report

Wow, well the market took one on the chin today. I have to say, after the last week, and with IBD talking about rallies and stuff, I was starting to wonder if I had missed the bottom.

I mean, this could just be a pullback, but I don't see the leadership... I think most of the move in the indexes could be attributed to financial bounces. They're not about to lead the market higher... so once the short squeeze is over, we could retest the lows. Time will tell.

Anyway, it was a mixed day in the RO. Actually, overall, it was a good day due to the top 3 guys, but the leadership was rather narrow. Out of 24 traders, 13 finished positive, or 54%. I was #9 of 24, so I had another decent day.

Here's the top 3: (refer to yesterday's RO post for an explanation on the lettering... however, don't miss another post, okay?)

1. Trader Z, $18,274 on 205k shares traded.
2. Trader B, $12,934 on 512k shares traded.
3. Trader F, $9,423 on 224k shares traded.

And on the downside:

1. Trader A, -$13,908 on 328k shares traded.
2. Trader C, -$1,626 on 288k shares traded.
3. Trader H, -$1,538 on 2500 shares traded.

NOTE: The site seems fucked again... I'm going back to a static blogroll for now. Fuck blogger.

Porn Thursday

In order to boost my readership, I've decided to post a hardcore porn movie clip each Thursday.


Environmental Guy

I was part of the green club in high school. We didn't do much of anything except start with some recycling programs.

At that time I also remember thinking that the people who shopped at supermarkets carrying their own shopping bags were freaks.

I'm no environmentalist but here's a great Jim Carey skit on In Living Color as the "Environmental Guy" (probably from the early 90's), which touches on many of the hot 'awareness' topics of today:

The Daily Show - "To Drill Or Not To Drill"

Classic Daily Show. They hit this one out of the park.

Another Person Who Shouldn't Be A Trader


Insane Rainbow Conspiracy Lady - Watch more free videos

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Aerosmith, "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)"

Please don't even try to argue that it's good.

The RO Report

I tell you one thing... I'm gonna get more sleep tonight. I woke up late and didn't have a clear plan in my head for the day.

So I had to watch the RO rake in money, while I dabbled around "unched." Very frustrating. Out of 26 traders today, 19 were gross positive, or 73%. I was number 19 of 26. So I was gross positive, net negative... which means, shitty music.

Volume dropped off today, and it can't be long before the volume just completely dries up for the end of August.

Still, as you'll see below, sometimes volume doesn't matter if you're in the right spots.

Since there were 26 traders today... I've decided to just letter them, A through Z, top to bottom, so that a bit of a story develops here in the RO. So today, A,B,C will be the top 3 and Z,Y,X will be the bottom. However, from here on out, these labels are static, and so one day, Trader Z could be the #1 trader on the day... I hope this makes sense. I think it will by the end of the week.

For the record, I'm "Trader S." Given the huge numbers at the top and bottom of the range, I doubt you'll see me anytime too soon.

The top 3:

1. Trader A, $18,586 on 446k shares traded.
2. Trader B, $18,443 on 896k shares traded.
3. Trader C, $9,493 on 168k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader Z, -$835 on 187k shares traded.
2. Trader Y, -$635 on 2k shares traded.
3. Trader X, -$459 on 29k shares traded.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Costco Part 2

(in case you missed Part 1 of this epic tale, it's here.)

Now, as you all know, I'm a very cultured guy, but I've never been in a Costco.

The gray cinder-block walls gave the place a "jail chic" kind of appeal and observing a few of the patrons I wouldn't be surprised if a few had "washed" someone in their past.

After a few minutes of walking around aisles wide enough to allow the easy passage of very obese people and wondering if we really needed 28 glue sticks, I started thinking bad thoughts about Obama.

"Fucking elitist," I thought. "Dude can't even bowl without looking like a girl. How the hell is he gonna stand up to the terrorists?" I grabbed a sleeve of 36 D-size batteries and threw it into our cart.

I looked at Judy, my waifish yoga wife, and compared her to a 300-pound woman riding around in one of those electric wheelchairs. I thought of three Judys in one big "Judy body" while I reached for a "Red Cross Emergency Kit." 

"Maybe Judy needs to gain a little weight," I thought to myself.   And I threw a 3 million candle spotlight into our cart.

A mom and her son, both huge, were looking at bags of chips. 

"Those bags are bigger than the other ones we got," the son said while giggling. 

The mom giggled back at him. They stood there like that, in front of the chips, shoulders shaking, necks all loose, laughing.  I walked by them and picked up 1000 feet of aluminum foil. 

"McCain isn't really that old," I thought. 

I spent a long time contemplating a generator. I was pulled away from said generator by Judy. I listened to a salesman talking to an old guy about Tums. 

"If you have a few people in your family taking these," the salesman explained slowly in a serious tone, "buying in this quantity is a very economical way to go." 

The old guy nodded thoughtfully, and added the gallon-sized tub of Tums to his cart.

All around me, different people were having different conversations but the words I heard were the same... "big," "bigger," and "biggest."

An 87 year old woman wearing a Costco visor was handing out free samples of grape juice. 

"Where could I find the green tea?" I asked. 

"Aisle 32,148," she said, as she continued to pour the juice into tiny plastic cups. 

She didn't even look up. She was like an 87 year old robot, lifting the plastic cup from the stack, placing it on the counter, and then filling it with purple... over and over. I felt a pang of sympathy for her and remembered how it used to be when old people retired. But hey, she probably had credit card debt, and should be happy Costco gave her the opportunity to pay it off.

Behind me, a lady was struggling to carry a huge bag of red meat. She was grunting as she lugged it toward her double-size shopping cart. I imagined her, as a cavewoman or something, trying to drag a dead boar to her fire... she was hunting here, at Costco. 

Other people were pawing over discounted books. One large woman was reading the back cover of a book about the South Beach diet and another, equally large woman, came over and told her that it changed her life. 

Men were buying quantities of meat, and cases of beer. They wore sports jerseys and Nascar caps. The mood was light. The people were happy. The people were filling their carts. The people were getting good deals on big stuff. 

What more was there?

We got to the checkout and I realized, in a panic, that there was no way we could fit this stuff into my small car.  I worried about this, out loud, to my mother.  A man in the next checkout lane overheard our conversation. 

"Oh, you find ways to fit it all in. You always do," he said.  Lightheartedly, he laughed, and I felt like I was a member of some new club. 

This man was my brother. He spoke in open-ended terms, he sounded wise. He too had found it difficult to fit the absurdly large quantities of stuff into his car, but he had managed. I would manage too... everything would be okay. I could consume. For a flashing moment, I understood the psyche of a Hummer driver.

And then, as if to complete the scene, upon exiting Costco through the automatic sliding doors, I looked out over the vast parking lot towards where the horizon should be (instead there was a BestBuy or something) and saw a funnel cloud descending, slowly and silently from the black heavens. It was the first time in my entire life that I had ever seen a funnel cloud. I thought the coincidence of me going to a Costco and witnessing my first funnel cloud was just too much.

Compared to the Costco and that funnel cloud, I had never felt so... small before.

But ironically enough, I also felt very American.

St. Vincent, "Dig A Pony"

The RO Report

It's hard for me to look back on today with much clarity, so I'm not gonna try right now. I'll just get to the numbers, have a few drinks, and let this one settle in.

Out of 26 traders, 19 were positive, or 73%. I was #10 of 26. It was my best day in awhile.

Here's the top 3:

1. $23,456 on 308k shares traded.
2. $20, 568 on 337k shares traded.
3. $10,124 on 454k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. -$2,602 on 37k shares traded.
2. -$940 on 71k shares traded.
3. -$829 on 0 shares traded (swing account).

NOTE: Part 2 of my Costco experience will be posted later this evening or early tomorrow morning. Please stop by to check it out.

A Nice Walk Through Some Fire

Who would have thought, that at 9:40am this morning, I would be looking at my worst day ever in over 9 years of trading?

Who would have thought, that at 9:40am this morning, I would have lost my rather impressive month of July, and blown out of all the funds I had remaining in my company?

Who would have thought, that at 9:40am this morning, I would have called Judy into the office, showed her my loss of over $10,000, showed her my heavy position (2500 shares) of CLF and said to her, "It's done now. I'm blowing up for good. If it trades $91, I'll be forced out and I'll have to find a new job."

And who would have thought that at 9:50 I would be up nicely on the day, Judy and I would be giving each other hugs and high-fives, and I'd be liquidating my position and getting ready to take the rest of the day off?

Surely, not me. But sometimes, funny things happen to stock traders.

At 10:45 I was walking hand and hand with my daughter through our CSA, picking flowers and placing them in a bucket. I was still somewhat shocked at the turn of events, and shaking my head at the absurdity of it all.

Indeed, I felt like one of those people who has looked directly at death, seen the light at the end of the tunnel, only to wake and live again.

Hudson City, Strength Amidst Weakness

Things still looking up for HCBK. I first mentioned this gem a year ago.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Elton John, "I'm Still Standing"

Elton John has some good songs... this isn't one of them. Worse, well, the video speaks for itself...

The RO Report

The RO had a mixed day, which is strange given the egregious moves in the commodity names. I mean, coal, ags, oils, all were ransacked. RANSACKED.

I blame the lame summer Monday volume. We traded just over 1.2 billion. I expect tomorrow to be a much better day.

Out of 26 traders, 14 were positive, or 53%. I was number 18 of 26, or, in other words, negative on the day.

Here are the top 3:

1. $9,520 on 239k shares traded.
2. $5,292 on 13k shares traded.
3. $4,142 on 328k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. -$8,003 on 80k shares traded.
2. -$1,613 on 36k shares traded.
3. -$1,459 on 52k shares traded.

Nouriel Roubini's Interview In Barrons

I may have to give bloggerdotcom a raise if he continues to find such gems.

-Nouriel Roubini

This is a pretty chilling interview. However, despite Roubini's short-term bearishness, long term, he thinks things will be peachy again.

And You Thought Sub-Prime Loans Were Bad

According to this article, they were just the tip o' the iceberg. Alt-A delinquencies and even prime loans are faltering at quickening levels.

In related news, CNBC is on the search for synonyms for the word "crisis" that also begin with the letter "C" and any word that rhymes with "loan," "crisis," "prime," and "cluster fuck."

Sunday, August 3, 2008

TD 5, Meet The Oil Rigs. Oil Rigs... Meet TD 5.

Looks like it's headed right for the oil rigs, shown below. Not sure what other storms those red lines represent... but not TD 5, which isn't that strong.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Et Tu, Obama?

Take a stand and stick to it.

The only way out of the energy mess we're in is, ironically, HIGHER gasoline prices.

Higher prices = less demand. Keep focusing on lowering the price of gasoline and we'll be dependent on it for another 30 years.

No thanks. Let's move on already.

UPDATE: Digging himself in even deeper...

Friday, August 1, 2008

Belle And Sebastian, "Jonathan David"

You gotta love the dude at the piano. Hilarious.

Quick Note

Fuck Brangelina and anyone who cares about their fucking baby.

The RO Report... Smokefest

The RO got killed today, and I can't even tell you why since I was out most of the day. Perhaps it was the drinking... or maybe it was the girls.

Anyway, hopefully this isn't a "tell" on what August has to offer.

Out of 26 traders, 9 were positive, or 34%. That's the lowest % I've reported since I began with the RO figures. I was # 4 of 26. Not bad, but unfortunately, it came on a day when everyone else sucked. Nothing to cheer about then.

Here's the top 3:

1. $997 on 18,900 shares traded.
2. $754 on 25,800 shares traded.
3. $618 on 4600 shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. -$16,154 on 640,500 shares traded.
2. -$11,795 on 318,400 shares traded.
3. -$10,502 on 105,100 shares traded.

Daily Show Points Out Media Hypocrisy

For all you right-wingers who think there's a "left wing slant" to the media, take note...

Listen to how all the major news players pick up on the McCain talking points.

Actually, the whole episode is great. Check out their new election promo...

Still Trouble With Site?

I still can't see the "recent comments" widget, despite the scaled down blog list. I think I'll just have to go back to regular blogroll... anyone else still having trouble with the sidebar?

Actually, it comes up sometimes...

Another Guy Who Shouldn't Be A Trader...