Sunday, December 28, 2008


Dancing on the grave of 2008 before it has officially passed may be in poor taste, but did 2008 care about you when it fucked your 401k account? NO.

2008 was a total dick.

The best thing you could say about 2008 is that it was a good year for blogging about the stock market. Everyday, some new scandal broke and some significant level was breached.

It was epic and that's why there are many great links here, all chosen by the people who wrote them.

One note... In an effort to increase the range of this post, I've "porned it up." In my opinion, the stock market blogosphere has a lot to learn from the success of the porn industry on the Internet, so I worked a little sex into the blog post descriptions that follow.

Meanwhile, any similarity between the descriptions and the actual posts or the lives of the people who wrote them is completely unintentional. Except Timmay's... If you want to see actual descriptions of the posts and not the "porned up" versions, click here.

One more note... if this is your first time on my blog, welcome. On the sidebar, you'll find an "Introduction" link. For you regulars, daily posting will resume on January 5th. Thanks to everyone for visiting.

Anyway, please get into the spirit of this post by checking the video below. It's 24 seconds long and somewhat safe for work...

UPDATE: My BSMBP "mentor" Jon Swift has completed his own "Best Blog Posts of 2008" post. His has a political slant and probably took the entire month of December to compile. He's kind of like, the grandfather of Best Stock Market Blog posts, so check it out.

Dinosaur Trader - "Another Lesson In Perspective" A young stock market blogger takes to the sea on a search for perspective. A wild storm washes him onto an island inhabited by nothing but dirty little whores!

The Fly - "The Important Matter Of Mother Market" A week before graduation "Professor Tropicana" finds himself in a moral dilemma. Is raising the grade of a failing student in exchange for sex worth the guilt he will have to live with? What the hell, this little slut has Mother Market's permission and is offering to give it up!

Hybridtalk (Exchanges) - "The Difference Between NYSE And Nasdaq: Who Is Master, Man Or Machine?" Watch the hottest, most willing but nonetheless "innocent" robots perform some of the nastiest sexual acts on Wall Street. Just when you thought robots couldn't move any faster, they moan and scream for more speed!

Wall Street Warrior - "Simple Analysis To Understand Fibonacci" A woman whose husband leaves her is sexually frustrated by the absence of a lover in her life. Avoiding the lecherous advances of the men she meets, she finds that her son's interest in her exceeds the accepted limits of their relationship. They spend the rest of their adult lives in therapy!

Danny - "Bro, I Totally Feel You" Danny is a naive 15-year-old who is preoccupied with sex. He develops a crush on the new 30-something, French housekeeper who looks after him while his father is out of town for the summer on a "business" trip. Later, Danny realizes that he enjoys being "tortured" by his sister's Barbie dolls!

Trader X - "Fibonacci Lines, Indicators, And The Holy Grail" In 1957, a young man named Jason drowns while at the Crystal Lake summer camp. The camp closes. Years later, the camp reopens and a series of bloody murders take place. After the majority of the staff are killed, a woman appears who claims to be the mother of the drowned boy. She is later decapitated and a throng of angry anarchists show up to have sex with her skull!

Daily Options Report - "Who Has That Box Of Plus-Ticks?" A dude goes golfing. He accidentally hits his ball deep into the woods. There, he meets up with a gaggle of septuagenarian female golfers dressed in pastels!

Afraid To Trade - "How I Set Up My Charts" Watch as every "tight stop" is hit with abandon on these filthy little stock charts!

Wall Street Fighter - "10 Most Vulgar Ticker Symbols" If you fetishize about older babes getting pounded while calling out dirty stock symbols, then this is the stock market post for you!

Attitude Trader - "Attitude Adjustment Series: What Am I Looking Forward To?" In an effort to get his "Attitude Index" to rise, this blogger attracts the attention of some young sluts and changes their attitudes about "positive thinking."

Dogwood - "This Is Why They Suck" 15 different girls, 15 different cars! Enough said!

Jon Swift - "Great Moments In Election-Year Blogging" Mrs. Roberts has just lost her husband and needs comforting. Good thing the neighbor’s kid is grown up and back from college. He gives her more than just a shoulder to lean on…

Alphatrends - "Some Historical Bear Market Perspective" After breaking up with her boyfriend, distraught, helpless and "shy" Vanessa decides to take a hike into a deep and dark forest all by herself. How many bears will she find there? More importantly, how many can she handle?

Howard Lindzon - "Commodity Boom... OVER?" Two men enter a fast food place. One orders a burger with fries, the other orders nothing at all but gets gangraped by the hot voracious female employees!

The Big Picture - "On Writing" A sensitive pianist with a secret side is exposed in this raunchy tale of debauchery and sexual delight.

Slope Of Hope - "November" A man arm-wrestles for the custody of his son.

Zen Trader - "I Am" This "pious zen monk" stumbles from stock graph to stock graph in search of the perfect set-up. In the end, he is met by a dozen horny nuns that redefine his notion of "mindfulness."

Stewie - "My PnL Excel Sheet" Edward is a rich, ruthless businessman who specializes in taking over companies and then selling them off piece by piece. He travels to Los Angeles for a business trip and decides to hire a prostitute. They take a liking to each other and he offers her money if she'll stay with him for an entire week. Then they get married.

Ragin Cajun - "Don't Be An Asshat!" Summertime. The beach. It's the place where a guy can get more than an eyeful of tanned, curvaceous bodies barely covered by the teeniest of string bikinis. But when young, innocent Rajun makes his beach debut, the temperatures really start to rise! This nubile virgin is looking to lose it, and he has no problems finding plenty of virile studs to accommodate his wanton desires.

High Chart Patterns - "Excerpt From (What Will Be) Today's Newsletter" Debbie gets a spot on the roster of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. One day, Debbie is approached by her boss, Mr. Greenfeld, who first offers $10 to see her breasts, another $10 to touch them, and finally another $10 to suckle them. She realizes that with $30, she can buy 400,000 shares of Citigroup!

MovetheMarkets - "3 Live Scalp Trades On The ES Futures" A girl saves a piglet from slaughter and he grows up in a barn full of animals and befriends a spider named Charlotte. They all have "no holes barred" raunchy spider sex! Imagine, 8 legs!!!

OONR7 - "Same Old Story" In the not too distant future a secret government re-animation chemo-virus gets released into conservative Sartre, Nebraska and lands in an underground strip club. As the virus begins to spread, turning the strippers into "Super Zombie Strippers" the girls struggle with whether or not to conform to the new "fad" even if it means there's no turning back.

Complacent Panda - "Making Money With Simple Point And Figure Support & Resistance Trendlines" Watch as CP finds desperate amateur models willing to do anything to become famous. He takes these cute young angels and breaks their little halos right before your eyes!

OBAT - "Monster Stocks" Department store owner OBAT finds that several of his employees are unionizing to get more money and better working conditions. In order to find out who the organizers are, he gets a job at the store as a shoe salesman. Not realizing his true identity, he's befriended by the two ringleaders, and a charming older woman with whom he develops a romance. They go to dinner and become close friends!

Timmay! - "Ashley Dupre Girls Gone Wild Pics, aka It Never Ends" Enjoy watching this stock market blogger take not just one dick in the ass, but two dicks in the ass! That is correct my friends, double anal in every scene for over twelve hours of pure hardcore ass-action. TimRaw indeed!

FX - "Gamblers State Of Mind" Daniel is new in town, and is getting picked on by the local bullies, who all are adept in karate. Determined to stick up for himself, Daniel begins to teach himself karate, only to discover that the caretaker at his apartment seems to be a grand master in karate. Agreeing to teach Daniel, Mr. Miyagi shows Daniel that there is more to karate than violence. Daniel competes in and wins the All Valley Karate Championship. Afterwards, an orgy breaks out among the cheering crowd!

Stock Hunter - "Trading Results For 10-01-08, And A Hunting Story" Something about men that hunt attracts older women. Watch as these experienced whores teach this stock market blogger that there are better things to do in the woods than shoot animals.

The Essentials Of Trading - "The Secret To Trading Success" The Navy needs more men, so they enlist five voracious sperm-swilling babes to entice every man they can get their hands on to join up. Full of naughty Navy costumes and patriotic fervour!

Stock Rookie - "Poker Discipline" Rocky Balboa is a struggling boxer trying to make the big time. Working in a meat factory in Philadelphia for a pittance, he also earns extra cash as a debt collector. When heavyweight champion Apollo Creed visits Philadelphia, his managers want to set up an exhibition match between Creed and a struggling boxer, touting the fight as a chance for a "nobody" to become a "somebody". The match is supposed to be easily won by Creed, but someone forgot to tell Rocky, who sees this as his only shot at the big time.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Malcolm Gladwell, "Most Likely To Succeed"

I love to read The New Yorker because I can pick it up, not be sure what I'm going to read about, but know that I'll walk away from it thinking new thoughts.

Case in point is the most recent article by Malcolm Gladwell titled, "Most Likely To Succeed" which is about spotting talent. What interested me most about the article is the discussion about finding good teachers to educate our children.  

Had I thought about this much before I read the article?  Nope.

In short, our education system is fucked. Put nicely by Mr. Gladwell, "If you rank the countries of the world in terms of the academic performance of their schoolchildren, the U.S. is just below average, half a standard deviation below a clump of relatively high-performing countries like Canada and Belgium."

However, despite the dire situation, the entry to become a teacher is difficult and discouraging. In addition, powerful teacher unions have made the pay structure very rigid and tenure somewhat easy to acquire. All of this means that it is very difficult to reform the system.

Gladwell makes the point that to enter the financial services field, not much more than a college education is required. It's dog eat dog... some will succeed and some won't, but the entry to the field is low. 

On the other hand, if I decide tomorrow that I want to quit trading and devote my life to teaching children, it would be very difficult. I'd have to get a masters degree (at least) which would be both financially difficult and logistically impossible (since I'm a Dad). It would take years before I entered a classroom and got down to business.

So basically, despite my interest, there are so many hurdles to overcome that I'll never become a teacher at this point.

Anyway, I thought it would be interesting to link the article and get some opinions about it, since I think it's very important.

And hey, it's the weekend... why not talk about something completely different for a change?

Friday, December 26, 2008

"We Share A Common Destiny As Americans"

Something Positive

The holidays are behind us. Let's get back to regularly scheduled worrying.

Seriously though, it seems that everyone thinks we're going straight to hell. I'm so sick of this idea that we're doomed and "on the precipice" that I'm going to try to be a little more positive around here. At least until New Years.

After that, as you know, the Dow is going straight down to 4500.

(Oh, and Dinosister, nice try with the blog hijacking... too bad you did it on the lowest traffic day in weeks... DT Wins Again!)

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Freaking Christmas DT

That's right - your favorite sister is BACK! After being assaulted last night by your horrific taste in music (Pitchfork 500 - WTF???) I was all ready to pull a Grinch and post some true music on this feeble blog attempt of yours. And then, a Christmas Miracle occurred in Whoville (or wherever the fuck it is that we live) because this was the first link I saw on You Tube. Consider it a Christmas Present from the DS (that would be Dinosister for you morons out there.)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Weezer, "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"

The RO Report, "Judy's BACK" Edition

I tell you what... when your wife goes down 3 days before Christmas and you're having the family over for Christmas Eve and you're Italian, things get stressful quick.

But she woke up today fully recovered after a day of bile and high fever to rally the troops (me) and start cooking. Just like a good woman should, by the way.

Oh, snap!

Anyway, I didn't trade. Instead, I followed my daughter around with Purell, dousing her with it whenever she came within 2 feet of Judy, or anyone else for that matter. You see, last year she woke up on Christmas with a fever, that won't be happening this year if I can help it...

Trading was very light today... but I'm throwing this post up because we have a first time "Lucky Pierre," Trader 3.

Still, despite his efforts, the Manservants won today, mostly due to "ass-blasted" swing accounts.

"Chambermaid" - Trader H*, -$7,840 on 0 shares traded.

2. Trader 10*, -$1,013 on 0 shares traded.
3. Trader P, -$937 on 101k shares traded.
4. Trader 9*, -$784 on 200 shares traded.
5. Trader M*, -$492 on 0 shares traded.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader 3, $426 on 11,000 shares traded.

2. Trader R, $348 on 29,400 shares traded.
3. Trader O, $263 on 4,200 shares traded.
4. Trader N, $225 on 1,600 shares traded.
5. Trader I, $186 on 5,000 shares traded.

This may be my last post until after Christmas. If that's the case, have a great holiday. As promised, I've been hard at work on some history posts. My plan is to publish one per week in 2009.

Also, be sure to tune in on Monday the 29th for my annual stock market blog roundup of 2008.

Off to clean clams.

Monday, December 22, 2008


Dancing on the grave of 2008 before it has officially passed may be in poor taste, but did 2008 care about you when it fucked your 401k account? NO.

2008 was a total dick.

The best thing you could say about 2008 is that it was a good year for blogging about the stock market. Everyday, some new scandal broke and some significant level was breached.

It was epic and that's why there are many great links here, all chosen by the people who wrote them.

Note: You can see the "porned up" version of this post here.

One more note... if this is your first time on my blog, welcome. On the sidebar, you'll find an "Introduction" link. For you regulars, daily posting will resume on January 5th. Thanks to everyone for visiting.

Dinosaur Trader
- "Another Lesson In Perspective" Watching a near death experience helped me get my head back on straight.

The Fly - "The Important Matter Of Mother Market" In his humorous style, "the Fly" details one of his few losing days during which Mother Market kicked his ass.

Hybridtalk (Exchanges) - "The Difference Between NYSE And Nasdaq: Who Is Master, Man Or Machine?" A must read post in which Ray spells out exactly, and with numbers and actual trades, why the NYSE is better than Nasdaq, for traders and issuers.

Wall Street Warrior - "Simple Analysis To Understand Fibonacci" Jamie explains where he places Fibonacci lines and shows how they often are useful to map out entry and exit points even if you don't fully understand the math behind them.

Danny - "Bro, I Totally Feel You" Danny gets drunk on "White Rhinos" and gets philosophical about investing in the stock market.

Trader X - "Fibonacci Lines, Indicators, And The Holy Grail" Indispensable information from X about the ways he uses Fibonacci. As important as the specifics are, his focus on getting his readers to develop their own methodology is what makes this post special.

Daily Options Report - "Who Has That Box Of Plus-Ticks?" Adam speculates on the rumors from September that the SEC was about to re-institute the "plus tick rule." He also discusses how changing the rule close to an options expiration creates the maximum market impact due to "Gamma," which he explains in detail.

Afraid To Trade - "How I Set Up My Charts" Corey details which technical indicators he uses on his charts when he trades, why he uses them and how each of the indicators works.

Wall Street Fighter - "10 Most Vulgar Ticker Symbols" An excellent title... the vulgar symbols and the specifics about the companies, all dappled with humor.

Attitude Trader - "Attitude Adjustment Series: What Am I Looking Forward To?" AT discusses how asking himself a simple question has helped his trading performance and life in general.

Dogwood - "This Is Why They Suck" The title refers to GM, specifically the Volt hybrid concept vehicle. Dog is pissed that instead of making a bold statement, GM watered down the design of the car and he fears it won't be able to compete with its Asian counterparts.

Jon Swift - "Great Moments In Election-Year Blogging" The one non-stock market blogger invited to join the BSMBP, and the man who gave me the idea for the BSMBP in the first place, Jon Swift is a well-known, politically conservative, blogger. In this post, he details some of the more important stories reported by the conservative blogosphere that the "mainstream, liberal media" unjustly ignored.

Alphatrends - "Some Historical Bear Market Perspective" Another great title, in this post Brian compares the market action at the end of 2000 with some of the uglier bear markets of the past.

Howard Lindzon - "Commodity Boom... OVER?" Not a bad call... this back when crude, X and FCX were trading close to $100. "Uncle Howard" offers perspective and the following advice: preserve your capital and invest in yourself.

The Big Picture - "On Writing" Barry details all of the things that surprised him about writing his first book and why it's not all a "moveable feast."

Slope Of Hope - "November" Tim hilariously parodies a movie scene that features a frustrated Hitler/stock blogger. Almost as funny as his parody of HPT's blowup video.

Zen Trader - "I Am" A post about visualizing trading success. Sounds like him and Attitude Trader have a lot to discuss.

Stewie - "My PnL Excel Sheet" Stewie details the way he uses his P&L spread sheet in order to spot if he's overtrading.

Ragin Cajun - "Don't Be An Asshat!" A video produced by Cajun that unforgettably puts faces to some of the more "egregious" predictions made this year.

High Chart Patterns - "Excerpt From (What Will Be) Today's Newsletter" The HCPG crew is the best at dissecting their trades in an educational way. In this post, they discuss a successful trade in DRYS (back when it was $80, ha!) that met all of their criteria.

MovetheMarkets - "3 Live Scalp Trades On The ES Futures" Richard hypnotizes me with his soothing voice and technical indicators... best of all, he does it live. Really, watching these videos is sorta like watching a horror movie... you're like, "TAKE THE PROFIT MAN!!! TAKE IT!"

OONR7 - "Same Old Story" A funny post about not respecting your trading rules... I've been there man.

Complacent Panda - "Making Money With Simple Point And Figure Support & Resistance Trendlines" Another nice title. CP shows how point and figure charting reduces a lot of the noise inherent in other charting techniques.

OBAT - "Monster Stocks" Using graphs of stocks that are showing "bubble characteristics" OBAT reminds us that what goes up normally comes back down... hard.

Timmay! - "Ashley Dupre Girls Gone Wild Pics, aka It Never Ends" Ironically, a stock market blog post that was more "porn" than stock market, perhaps Timmay is onto something after all!

FX - "Gamblers State Of Mind" FX struggles with the proper mindset necessary for trading. Would it be better to treat it all like Monopoly money? Like it's just a game?

Stock Hunter - "Trading Results For 10-01-08, And A Hunting Story" SH goes hunting with his father. As with trading, perseverence pays off in the end.

The Essentials Of Trading - "The Secret To Trading Success" Here it is, the post you've been waiting your whole life to read... wait a second... I'm going to spoil it for you with a direct quote from the post... here goes... "There is no single secret to successful trading!" The post title is a LIE! Or is it?

Stock Rookie - "Poker Discipline" A solid post that makes 6 pertinent comparisons between trading and poker rules. However, my question is this... is it healthy to "play poker on my phone, mostly while I'm watching TV?"

George Jackson, "Aretha, Sing One For Me"

The RO Report, "Black Death" Edition

Judy is sick so I'm getting straight to the numbers... yes that's me, the #5 Manservant. When it rains...

"Chambermaid" - Trader P, -$25,903 on 231k shares traded.

2. Trader 9*, -$2,329 on 500 shares traded.
3. Trader 6*, -$1,794 on 0 shares traded.
4. Trader J, -$1,723 on 38,800 shares traded.
5. Trader S, -$1,392 on 39,300 shares traded.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader Z, $12,319 on 405k shares traded.

2. Trader N, $3,384 on 17,600 shares traded.
3. Trader H*, $2,754 on 0 shares traded.
4. Trader 10*, $1,707 on 400 shares traded.
5. Trader E, $1,705 on 19,400 shares traded.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Richard Linklater, "Slacker"

I should have named this post "birth of a blog post" because it hits exactly on that topic...

Anyway, yesterday evening, I was scrolling around over at "the Fly's" place and found a link to this article in the comment section. It scared the bejesus out of me. So, I decided I better get a little educated about its origin since I figured it was from some marginal source.

It is, kind of... What I found is that the website Infowars is the brainchild of Alex Jones, a "paleo conservative" who hosts a controversial radio program that veers towards conspiracy theories, etc. But what I found more interesting was that he was featured in the movie "Waking Life" which was directed by Richard Linklater, one of my favorite film directors. Below you'll find the clip that features Alex Jones.

Anyway, it got me thinking about one of my all-time favorite movies, "Slacker," also directed by Linklater.  This is the type of movie that when I was 18 I'd try and get my friends to watch. I was always so enthusiastic about it but everyone else just seemed bored. 

So I found a dude who linked the movie in its entirety on youtube, and I've gone through the trouble of making 10 links to each segment of the movie here.  Bonus points if you see the "Ron Paul" reference...

Consider it an early Christmas gift from DT. Here goes!

Slacker Part 1.

Slacker Part 2.

Slacker Part 3.

Slacker Part 4.

Slacker Part 5.

Slacker Part 6.

Slacker Part 7.

Slacker Part 8.

Slacker Part 9.

Slacker Part 10.

WTF? Japanese Version Of "We Are The World"

Just, you know, in the spirit of holiday giving...

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Ponzi Is Pissed; Madoff Fearful

-The new Ponzi? Bernard Madoff.

After years of unfettered access to the limelight, Charles Ponzi came back from the dead yesterday to deliver a special message to Bernard Madoff.

The message? A simple, "Fuck you."

Ponzi fears, and rightfully so, that he will lose the title of "greatest American swindler" to Madoff.

Meanwhile, Madoff has different fears. For instance he has hired a security firm to protect his ass from the hordes of poor people who want to skin him alive.

Karma is a bitch.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Adam Sandler, "Hanukkah Song"

The RO Report, "Christmas Recital" Edition

I surfed this morning and then skipped the early trade in favor of my daughter's Christmas recital.

It was great. She's already starting to dominate all the other kids. While some of the other, lesser children were forgetting the words to "Jingle Bells" and "We Wish You A Merry Christmas," my little pterodactyl was belting the carols out so loud that Santa himself could hear her all the way up in the North Pole, where he lives.

Word has it that he's going to set her up good on Christmas because of her dedication.

Anyway, so I really only traded the last hour heavy, but caught it good, as did the RO.

My plan for next week is to take off. I'm going to read a couple classic trading books, write a few history posts, do some chores around the house, see my family, fight with my neighbors, and not open the door to my office.

I will blog, but sporadically.

On Monday the 29th, my blog will be back in full force when I post the Best Stock Market Blog Posts of 2008. You don't want to miss that. You want to tell all your friends about it too. Talk about it over Christmas dinner during an awkward silence... You want to Digg it... you want to link it... etc.

2009 is the year we go "first-tier" around here.

So look, out of 25 traders today, 17 were gross positive, or 68%. 11 traders made over $1,000 gross, and 3 lost over $1,000 gross. Nice numbers to end the week.

I was #5 of 25, bossy.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader C, $22,714 on 324k shares traded.

2. Trader D,
$15,690 on 432k shares traded.
3. Trader P,
$13,174 on 520k shares traded.
4. Trader Z, $10,309 on 363k shares traded.
5. Trader S,
$8,684 on 195k shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader 7, -$2,924 on 79,000 shares traded.

2. Trader 10*,
-$2,723 on 500 shares traded.
3. Trader J,
-$1,924 on 7,600 shares traded.
4. Trader M*,
-$810 on 0 shares traded.
5. Trader 8,
-$629 on 31,600 shares traded.

Here is today's "heatmap."

Thursday, December 18, 2008

RjD2, "Good Times Roll, Part 2"

Dedicated to the RO. Hope you guys are having a blast.

The RO Report, "Christmas Party" Edition

Post will be late.

Quick question though... how many of you ate it on that RIG MOC?

RIG blows. Quite a number of traders were mauled by this thing late in the day, but despite that, the RO had a decent day. I'm just getting to the numbers.

First, some blog news. Look for the Best Stock Market Blog Posts of 2008 to be published here on the 29th. Next week I won't be blogging much. However, I will spend the time preparing solid posts for the beginning of the year.

Out of 27 traders today, 16 finished gross positive, or 59%. 10 traders made over $1,000 gross and 4 lost over $1,000 gross. I was #12 of 27. Not bad considering that I'm already mentally on holiday. Also, I've surfed 4 out of the last 6 days. That tends to dampen my ambition a bit...

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader B, $12,421 on 340k shares traded.

2. Trader Z, $7,828 on 67,800 shares traded.
3. Trader J, $5,080 on 70,200 shares traded.
4. Trader 10*, $4,511 on 1,400 shares traded.
5. Trader V, $3,871 on 52,200 shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader 9*, -$7,156 on 200 shares traded.

2. Trader D, -$4,319 on 287,000 shares traded.
3. Trader 6*, -$2,548 on 0 shares traded.
4. Trader O, -$1,062 on 31,400 shares traded.
5. Trader M*, -$864 on 0 shares traded.

Get Your Morning Links

Just a reminder... Shane is now posting his "funny money" links daily at "Butterknuckle."

Same funny links, just with added butter.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Fleet Foxes, "English House" (live on Conan O'Brian)

You may have to sit through a small ad at the beginning of this... but worth it. One of my favorite bands of 2008.

Bernie Madoff Shoved By Photographer

Nice. The only thing that would have made this better is if they threw a shoe at his head.

The RO Report, "Quiet Consolidation" Edition

Perfect. After a nice run yesterday, today was a perfect follow-up... a low volume consolidation day. It wasn't a great day for trading, it was more like a chopfest and sensing this, I ducked out for a midday surf session. And man, it was quiet around the blog too...

Trading isn't just about entries and exits, it's also about changing gears when necessary. We're moving into a holiday week, and with the large catalyst of the FOMC meeting behind us, we could be in for some slow times until January. That's not to say there won't be opportunity everyday, but pick your spots.

A trading friend of mine says this has turned into a very benign market. You can search for spots on daily graphs and trade around them. That's completely different from just a couple of weeks ago.

Tomorrow is my company's holiday party and Friday is my daughter's holiday performance at her school. So posting here may get light. I plan on publishing my 2008 Best Stock Market Blog Post, post on the 29th. If you want to send me your favorite blog post of the year, please do so by Christmas at the latest. Next week I won't be posting much at all. However, I have a few "history" posts nearing completion.

My plan is to start 2009 off with a bang around here, so I'll try and get a number of them done next week when I'm taking it easy.

Anyway, the numbers today suck. Out of 26 traders, 11 finished gross positive, or 42%. Only 1 trader managed to make over $1,000 gross, but 7 traders lost over $1,000 gross. Ugly. I was #5 of 26. Happy to be green.

"Chambermaid" - Trader C, -$23,628 on 128k shares traded.

2. Trader H*, -$6,384 on 14,200 shares traded.
3. Trader N, -$5,808 on 74,800 shares traded.
4. Trader P, -$4,609 on 137k shares traded.
5. Trader Z, -$4,393 on 46,300 shares traded.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader G, $1,306 on 49,600 shares traded.

2. Trader 6*, $872 on 800 shares traded.
3. Trader J, $811 on 44,000 shares traded.
4. Trader E, $672 on 37,000 shares traded.
5. Trader S, $530 on 19,800 shares traded.

Here's the "heatmap."


Dancing for Salvation - Watch more free videos

Spitzer And Madoff Linked?


UPDATE: Okay, low volume chopfest. Going surfing. Be back for the close.

Santa Needs A Bailout

This is mediocre, but timely... and I'm lazy.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Animal Collective, "Fickle Cycle"

The RO Report, "Wall Of Worry" Edition

There's an old saying on Wall Street, that the stock market climbs a "wall of worry" when it's moving higher. Clearly, there are plenty of worries for this market to climb. We're right up near our early December highs and heading into what should be a relatively slow couple of weeks.

Sorry, Devildog, no "new lows this month."

I was surfing today with an old floor trader. He seemed certain that we're going to 6,000 on the Dow. There seems to be a lot of this certainty out there... that's not great if you're bearish.

Anyway, it was a decent day in the RO for those who weren't fading the rally. Lots of money made in the last hour of trade. Shit, I may take off tomorrow morning too.

Out of 24 traders today, 14 finished gross positive, or 58%. 9 traders made over $1,000 and 5 lost over $1,000. Not great numbers there, just average. I was #7 of 24. Not bad for 2 hours of work... especially after a great surf session.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader C, $40,423 on 551k shares traded.

2. Trader Z, $29,805 on 328k shares traded.
3. Trader N, $22,505 on 98,000 shares traded.
4. Trader P, $19,056 on 442k shares traded.
5. Trader 9*, $9,077 on 300 shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader B, -$18,875 on 701k shares traded.

2. Trader G, -$4,226 on 45,000 shares traded.
3. Trader H*, -$2,879 on 4,200 shares traded.
4. Trader 10*, -$2,575 on 300 shares traded.
5. Trader D, -$1,131 on 504k shares traded.

NOTE: If you want to be included in this year's "Best Stock Market Blog Post of 2008" shebang, than email me your favorite post of the year that you've written. Time is running out.

Also, don't forget that you can get your daily "funny money" links over at Shane's new blog, "Butterknuckle."

Surfing > Trading

Surfed all morning. Completely exhausted and ready to hit the markets.

Looks like a chop fest so far. Glad I missed it.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Third Eye Blind, "Semi-Charmed Life"

Dew-dew-dew, dew-dew-dew-FUCK YOU! This song, this band... SUCKS.

The RO Report, "RIP Wealth" Edition

Okay, so I'm being a bit over the top there, but I did lose money today for the first time in a long time. Add to that some new fears among my office mates that we're in for some rough sledding and I'm spooked.

Anyway, I have a lot to say today but little time. Unfortunately, I have to get right to the numbers.

Out of 27 traders today, 16 were gross positive, or 59%. 8 traders made over $1,000 gross, while 3 traders lost over $1,000 gross. I was #22 of 27. Lightly smoked.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader D, $13,261 on 161,000 shares traded.

2. Trader Z, $10,817 on 153k shares traded.
3. Trader B, $4,903 on 207k shares traded.
4. Trader P, $3,552 on 179k shares traded.
5. Trader E, $3,157 on 102k shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader N, -$16,210 on 162k shares traded.

2. Trader H*, -$3,051 on on 9,500 shares traded.
3. Trader 9*, -$2,914 on 1,500 shares traded.
4. Trader R, -$277 on 9,800 shares traded.
5. Trader 7, -$195 on 22,000 shares traded.

Also, since I lost money and no one sprayed, today is the first time in awhile that I'm forced to post bad music as punishment.

Can You Figure Out The Metaphor Here?

As it pertains to my trading day...

(h/t "Holy Taco")

Smoked Myself Early

Notice the wording on that title. I just traded like an idiot, trading way too much size on a dead day. There's absolutely no volume.

Specifically, what I did was try to short JPM with size through $29. Apparently, that's a very sticky area today and I got chopped.

I'll come back in the afternoon and try to shave this loss. Ahead of the Fed meeting tomorrow, you should be hitting singles, not swinging for homeruns. Word to the wise.

Inspiration For Stock Traders

Friday, December 12, 2008

The RO Report, "Phoenix" Edition

I'll have the post up a little late...

UPDATE: And when I say "late" I mean this weekend. We're busy preparing for our daughter's birthday party and I won't have time to get to the post tonight. So, I give you the rare reason to stop by this weekend. Thanks for all the nice comments on my earlier post.

Okay, Sunday night and I'm about 10% recovered from the birthday party. We'll see where that gets me.

On Friday I named the report the "Phoenix" edition because it featured me coming back from a huge deficit in the last hour of trade. Also, the market started off smoked and ended the day positive. So, you know, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes...

I guess I was feeling pretty dramatic at 4:05 or whenever I came up with that title.

Today, I'm not feeling dramatic at all and think the title is very hokey.

Anyway, I don't remember too much about Friday. I've completely erased the work portion of that day from my memory. Okay, I remember one thing, which is kind of funny. I bought a boatload of FLE at .09 and sold it at .13, all in a manner of seconds. Pennystocking indeed, suck my nuts Timmay.

Yes, apparently I'm in an aggressive mood. I guess I'll just get right to the numbers.

Out of 25 traders on Friday, 15 finished gross positive, or 60%. 7 traders made over $1,000 gross, while 4 traders lost over $1,000 gross. Average numbers. I was #6 of 25, very happy considering the depths I touched.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader B, $15,240 on 409k shares traded.

2. Trader Z, $13.518 on 276k shares traded.
3. Trader C, $12,778 on 252k shares traded.
4. Trader P, $5,245 on 290k shares traded.
5. Trader 9*, $3,646 on 3,800 shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader H*, -$6,781 on 4,200 shares traded.

2. Trader R, -$1,323 on 33,000 shares traded.
3. Trader L, -$1,149 on 27,600 shares traded.
4. Trader D, -$1,003 on 423k shares traded.
5. Trader E, -$855 on 48,900 shares traded.

IMPORTANT INTERNET NOTICE: Our friend Shane who was the brains behind Wall Street Fighter has moved on. If you enjoyed his morning links before, you can find them now at his new blog, "Butterknuckle." In addition, for something completely different, (think Break meets "Am I Hot Or Not") check his other project, "Looku." Please, go check out his new sites.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie Intro

(h/t Trader Z)

See You Later Happy Birthday "Munch"

Solid surf and my daughter's fourth birthday means I won't be trading this market until the late afternoon.

Don't blow up.

UPDATE: Surfing trip cancelled due to the impending Great Depression/riots.

That's right. I left the house pre-dawn, stepping out into a tremendous gale (I think "tremendous gale" sounds very 1930s, no?) and drove to my surf buddy's house. Water had flooded the back room of his house and he didn't look like a millionaire... he looked haggard. Still, we pressed on.

As we sped down the local turnpike, his thumbs were flying all over his Blackberry as he shot emails off to important clients. He's a real estate agent, and he's working on a couple of large deals. Anyway, despite the fact that I left my house without looking at the market on purpose, so as not to be detracted from my decision to "take off," I gave in and said, "Dude, anyway you can get me a futures quote on that thing?"

He looked at me like I was from 1996 and said, "Yeah, it's called CNBC." Seconds later he was staring down at the screen, face blue from the illumination and said, all too calmly, "The futures are down 311 points."

311 points!

"Dude," I said. "I can't surf if the fucking futures are down 311 points," and I made a hasty U-turn, much to his chagrin. His Blackberry flew out of his hands and slid down into the netherworld that exists between my passenger seat and the door. "Fuck man," he said. "Chill out!"

"Dude," I said. "Don't you get it? They're gonna drive the market down to the lows again! Citigroup is gonna die! The fucking REITs are gonna be fucking worthless! My mother is gonna be living in my fucking basement and there's gonna be riots in New York FUCKING City if the fucking terrorists don't blow it up first! FUCK DEVILDOG!"

"Dude.... what???" he said, looking scared. "What the fuck is a "Devildog?"

Perspective washed over me now that I had released my fears. I looked over at him. He seemed so innocent and somewhat naive. "Ah, nothing... don't worry. Look, the Great Depression may come, but the winds will still blow, waves will still break. I'll surf with you tomorrow morning. It's supposed to me nice and clean."

In a span of 10 seconds, I went from "the world is ending" to "the waves will still break" and I understood, briefly, why I'm a daytrader.

For the next few minutes, we drove in silence. I dropped him off and stopped for a coffee in town. I ran the 20 feet from my car to the entrance of the coffee shop, arm up to brace myself against the wind (again very 1930s, no?). The cafe door slammed behind me and it was like I had entered a new world.

The store was overly bright, peaceful, and quiet. The dulcet tones of an instrumental version of "Morning Has Broken" streamed out from behind a speaker camouflaged to look like a Santa Claus. I walked over to the "coffee station" and studied the 6 pots of coffee in front of me, each with a different colored handle.

"Are these all the same?" I asked the man behind the counter. "No, my friend" he said, and pointed to what looked like a "coffee chart" that was in a stand up frame next to the pots.

The hopeful music coupled with the 6 flavors of coffee made me feel like this place was sure to go out of business sooner, rather than later. Still, I paid over $8 for two coffees and a hunk of blueberry crumb cake... so perhaps they'll make it after all.

I got home and crept upstairs. My daughter was still asleep. It's her fourth birthday. Her foot was sticking out of the bottom of her comforter and I kissed it. She woke up.

"Daddy!" she said, beaming. "Happy Birthday, sweetness!" I said, beaming now too.

She stood in the middle of her mattress, chin up and shoulders back to make herself appear "super-tall." "See how big I am now, Daddy?" she asked. "I'm four!"

Judy stumbled into the room, wrapped in a blanket, squinting. "What are you doing home?"

Forgetting about the Dow for a moment and taking a glance at my daughter who was now jumping up and down on her bed I said, "I wanted to wish 'Chela' a Happy Birthday before she went to school."

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Joy Division, "Atmosphere"

The RO Report, "Support Broken" Edition

All morning long, the guys in the RO were remarking about how light the volume was. Once the afternoon rolled around however, volume picked up and the market got more used than a greased gerbil in a gay bar.

Support was broken on the SPY, on the QQQQ and financial stocks just shit themselves.

It makes me question this recent rally. If the market were healthier, support would have held today. It's very possible that we rip over those levels again tomorrow, but it doesn't speak well for the strength of any future rally when good support doesn't hold.

Anyway, the RO doesn't care about the health of the market. They just care about the health of their accounts... and their accounts inflated nicely today.

Out of 26 traders today, 19 finished gross positive, or 73%. 13 traders finished up over $1,000 gross and 2 lost over $1,000 gross. It was a solid day. I was #15 of 26, or grossly underperforming... however, in my defense, by 3pm I was watching Mary Poppins and wearing a glitter crown while my daughter cut me paper hearts. 

I'll have to have a strong word with Judy about that... developing....

Meanwhile, special kudos to "Trader P" for taking his game up a notch.  He made a bucket of money during a time of day that he normally doesn't.  Well done, boss.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader C, $40,841 on 237k shares traded.

2. Trader Z, $21,401 on 119k shares traded.
3. Trader B, $21,037 on 585k shares traded.
4. Trader P, $18,430 on 140k shares traded.
5. Trader N, $16,054 on 207k shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader A, -$6,865 on 56,800 shares traded.

2. Trader 9*, -$4,244 on 400 shares traded.
3. Trader 6*, -$899 on 0 shares traded.
4. Trader 7, -$119 on 32,000 shares traded.
5. Trader X, -$67 on 1,000 shares traded.

Bulls Getting Bashed

I need to see that movie in its entirety.

Check out this video of the opening scenes from Challenge of the Tiger.

You must watch the ENTIRE thing - no skipping.

Santa's Drug Bust

Okay, it's not porn, (for Porn Thursday) but it's illicit.


I know it sucks for trading, but this action is perfect for the market if you're hoping for more upside anytime soon.

After a 1500 rip off the lows, the market needs to digest. Just take it easy and don't chop yourself to itty bitty pieces in this low volume environment.

I'm chilling until the afternoon. "Porn Thursday" post forthcoming!

Another Person Who Shouldn't Trade

Know when to lock in profits.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Avalanches, "Since I Left You"

This video, is hilarious.

The RO Report, "In Santa's FACE!" Edition

I know we have a few weeks to go before Christmas comes, but the market is trading like it's ready to take an early holiday vacation. Unfortunately, when I went neutral after we hit the 50dma on the Dow on Monday, the market decided to listen. We seem to be caught in this 8600-9000 "death range." Volume is slackening and the intraday ranges are getting smaller.

Of course, this could be contraction before expansion. It could be like, I dunno... the market could be swimming in a really cold lake, but soon, it's gonna get out of the lake, dry off, and meet its girlfriend in a cozy little cabin by the lake... hmmm...

I'm not taking that analogy any further. Frankly, I'm slightly bothered it popped into my head.

All day, the RO was hating on me because I made a little money in the morning in coal longs (which I shouted scums!) and they were busy getting smoked. Towards the end of the day, when I still hadn't lost my money to join them in their misery, they were like a drunken crowd of fat ugly women tearing some hot chick apart.

Or, maybe this Bob Dylan lyric is more to the point...

While one who sings with his tongue on fire
Gargles in the rat race choir
Bent out of shape from society's pliers
Cares not to come up any higher
But rather get you down in the hole
That he's in.

By the end of the day, they caught me and I wasn't even a boss. They're out there, reading this now, some of them no doubt snickering but here's why I win... I have a really nice blog. Like, it's really important and people connect with it. And you know, they're just jealous.

LOL in your FACE office!

Anyway, out of 25 traders today, 15 were gross positive, or 60%. 6 traders made over $1,000 gross, while 5 traders lost over $1,000 gross. I was #6 of 25. All kidding aside, kudos to Traders Z and N for their solid comebacks. Still, it wasn't enough to prevent the office from "manservitude" today.

"Chambermaid" - Trader D, -$11,627 on 561k shares traded.

2. Trader C, -$10,212 on 342k shares traded.
3. Trader E, -$2,034 on 69,400 shares traded.
4. Trader J, -$1,879 on 52,600 shares traded.
5. Trader H, -$1,379 on 8,700 shares traded.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader Z, $6,191 on 263k shares traded.

2. Trader N, $4,314 on 214k shares traded.
3. Trader 9*, $3,748 on 1,800 shares traded.
4. Trader P, $1,781 on 288k shares traded.
5. Trader 6*, $1,643 on 0 shares traded.

NOTE: Tis the season for my annual Best Stock Market Blog post. If you're currently not on my blogroll and wish to be included, please email me and my "Best Stock Market Blog Post Committee" (BSMBPS) will review your submission. Thank you.

Auto Urine Therapy

"Trader E" sent me this pic... I thought that "drinking your own pee" was a fitting metaphor for the market. Meanwhile, I'm really hoping 8600 holds. If not, my new 8600-9000 trading range theory will fail.

A New Daytrading Bull Market?

Perhaps... Let's just hope that Timmay! isn't the face of it.

I'm not sure if anyone has ever noted just how arrogant this dude seems... well, let me be the first to say it, Tim Sykes is a dick. He's up 219% because he's trading a small account. If he had any real balls, he'd be in the RO and holding 2 or 3 million of stock intraday. Oh, I know he did that back in the day, when he ran his gay little hedge fund, but that's when a 200 point move was a big deal.

Man up, Timmay! And email me for office info.

Meals In Front Of The Tree

4 year olds are interesting creatures. My daughter has become obsessed with our Christmas tree and now takes all her meals at a little table (previously used for crafts) she set up about 4 feet away from it.

The first thing she does upon waking up is to run downstairs and turn on the lights.

But in a sure sign that she doesn't yet fully grasp Christmas cheer and the meaning of the holiday, last night she remarked that, "when people die, we can steal their houses."

The trader inside of me smiled, but the father was somewhat alarmed.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

New Order, "Temptation"

The RO Report, "New Countertop" Edition

We had a new countertop installed in our kitchen today. Let me tell you, the epoxy those guys used to glue that mother down is some heavy shit. I was half high all day long, making non-sensical trades while assaulting "Trader D" via our office chat room.

It was fun. I traded lightly... I was happy.

Not everyone in the office had fun today. You'll notice that Trader C, "George Michaeled" himself by having both his intraday account and his swing account take the bottom two spots in the office. Many of you would say, "Wow, that's bad," but I'll have you know, Trader C is a sick fucker, and probably likes massive doses of pain now and then. It makes him feel more alive.

Otherwise, it was a fairly quiet day. The volume was light, and as I wrote yesterday, a pullback to this level would be healthy. We go lower on higher volume, and I'd be concerned about the state of the rally.

Anyway, out of 26 traders today, 19 finished gross positive, or 73%. 9 traders made over $1,000 gross, while 4 traders lost over $1,000 gross. I was #9 of 26.

I also want to point out that today marked the first trading day for "Trader X," a trader who found our office through this blog. There was an old "Trader X" but he quit to work another job full time. So I saved the excellent letter X for the first DT trader.

Hopefully, before long, he'll be a Boss. Godspeed, "Trader X."

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader Z, $10,699 on 153k shares traded.

2. Trader A, $9,111 on 120k shares traded.
3. Trader N, $8,432 on 146k shares traded.
4. Trader B, $8,001 on 538k shares traded.
5. Trader D, $5,793 on 137k shares traded.

"George Michael" - Trader C, -$6,233 on 156k shares traded.
2. Trader 9*, -$4,364 on 1,300 shares traded.

3. Trader 10*, -$3,788 on 3,300 shares traded.
4. Trader P, -$1,196 on 158k shares traded.
5. Trader R, -$642 on 34,040 shares traded.

Christmas Vomit

Take a look at the intraday heatmap, it's a mess. Volume is light and we've had a little pullback. I'm thinking nothing much going on and I'm trading accordingly.

Instead, I've been having fun hurling offensive comments at people over at "the Fly's" place.

Give Us Our Bike!