Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Poll Closed; Blogger Is Slow.

-Compsognathus Dinosaur

So out of 100 of you, 56 say the page is loading slowly. That's 56% for you idiots (or, 87% of you... 19 heads just exploded). Anyway, I think removing my Twitter updates helped but still, my time at this address is growing shorter.

I've received hundreds, no thousands, of emails regarding my elite $5,000 monthly subscription based newsletter/basement apartment offer. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and the demand has made me question whether $5,000 a month is enough. To sweeten the deal further, I promise to scoop the cat litter boxes twice daily, as opposed to the current once a day schedule (the litter boxes are located in the "basement apartment.")

I have also decided to break the subscription rates into a few levels. I will post more on this later. Just know the lowest level will be the "Compsognathus" level at $36.50 monthly. Why $36.50? Because this will put me into direct competition with the HCPG newsletter (they charge $37.50 a month).

As always, fuck the HCPG people and their "female" West Coast ways.

Finally, I just want to point out that after blogging at a searing pace to begin this year I have substantially slowed down. You bastards still get 3 posts a day but it should be clear to long time readers that I'm not even trying anymore.

That said, I feel the juices starting to flow again...

In fact, just the other day I had a real confrontation with a 7-11 employee regarding hazlenut coffee. More on this soon.


thirdeye said...

The slow page rendering is caused by the inline video links. Look at Dr Brett's site. No videos == snappy pages. --Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Please do keep the stories coming as time/creativity allows. You will never know how much you impact people's lives.

When my wife and I have a disagreement now, it spirals downhill until one of us ends it with a FUCK YOU FUCKERMAN!! (or woman, depending on the issue at hand). Thanks again, and I hope your P&L turns around soon.

Dinosaur Trader said...

Thanks Anon, always nice to get a nice comment like that.

@thirdeye, so you mean youtube vids? Hmmm... if that's true I could just post imeem music with no vids. But I'm unconvinced. Loads of blogs post vids with no apparent slowness.