Trader A Guest Post

Will be published after the RO report this Wednesday. Set your clocks.

Beat Happening, "Hot Chocolate Boy"

The RO Report, "Moss" Edition

While you were fucking around in the stock market, I was playing "fairy" with my daughter as I cleaned out a moss bed on the side of the house. I don't get you, with your house and your big lawn. It makes no sense. Get some moss. You don't have to mow it, it's green all year, and it's beautiful. Better for the environment and better for you. Plus, fairies thrive in moss, everyone knows that. Go ahead, make the layup joke you idiot. You think you're funny? No...

Anyway, I'm taking tomorrow off also. Then, come Monday I'll be doing things differently. I have a plan, don't you worry. I drew out all of the "slush" funds from my trading account and will basically be starting over. This will naturally make me focus more on risk. If there is one thing I know about myself it's that I am at my best when my back is against a wall.

It was a good day for the RO. An interesting day actually, as Trader B and his swing account snagged the #1 and #2 positions, while Trader Z and his swing account snagged the bottom two positions. Technically, this is a "George Michael" and a "Double Dong" in the same day which is pretty amazing. A "George Michael Double Dong" if you will.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader H*, $10,851 on 37,500 shares traded.

2. Trader B, $10,513 on 515k shares traded.
3. Trader D, $9,331 on 386k shares traded.
4. Trader F, $4,022 on 103k shares traded.
5. Trader E, $1,822 on 178k shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader Z, -$6,336 on 226k shares traded.

2. Trader M*, -$771 on 0 shares traded.
3. Trader 8, -$223 on 6,200 shares traded.
4. Trader 1***, -$162 on 5,200 shares traded.
5. Trader 6*, -$86 on 1,500 shares traded.

***The old Trader 1 left the company. Trader 1 is a new trader. Update all your excel sheets.

The RO Report, "Time Off" Edition

I took another hit today and will be taking time off until I get my head back into the game. It was a bit of an overall smokefest in the RO.

"Chambermaid" - Trader A, -$18,675 on 270k shares traded.

2. Trader D, -$8,673 on 327k shares traded.
3. Trader N, -$7,710 on 158k shares traded.
4. Trader Z, -$2,655 on 449k shares traded.
5. Trader S, -$2,615 on 125k shares traded.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader H, $13,001 on 44k shares traded.

2. Trader B, $10,927 on 664k shares traded.
3. Trader F, $7,783 on 375k shares traded.
4. Trader C, $5,363 on 220k shares traded.
5. Trader 9*, $2,589 on 4,700 shares traded.

Trader A...

Fox Catches Mouse Two Feet Under Snow - Watch more Funny Videos

The RO Report, "Zzzzzzz" Edition

I guess, given the news environment we seem to be in that sometimes no news is good news. The market simply went to sleep today, which I guess is a good thing. We just seem to be catching our breath a bit, which is healthy.

It was a pretty awful day to trade. That said, you see "Trader A" made a princely sum once again. I'll give you one clue, he was pretty much done trading by noon.

The rest of the RO grinded it out though, and ended with a small win after a mostly ho-hum sort of day.

Out of 31 traders today, 18 were gross positive or 58%. 7 traders made over $1,000 gross and 3 lost over $1,000 gross. I was #14 of 31 or basically flat.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader A, $9,290 on 46k shares traded.

2. Trader Z, $1,967 on 79,436 shares traded.
3. Trader B, $1,899 on 358k shares traded.
4. Trader D, $1,503 on 121k shares traded.
5. Trader E, $1,501 on 101k shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader H*, -$4,405 on 4,100 shares traded.

2. Trader V, -$3,452 on 64,600 shares traded.
3. Trader F, -$2,657 on 70,800 shares traded.
4. Trader M*, -$966 on 0 shares traded.
5. Trader 9*, -$790 on 1,200 shares traded.

Swine Flu Gets The Daily Show Treatment

You know you've made it big when you're on The Daily Show. Congratulations to Swine Flu!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
The Last 100 Days
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

Beach Boys, "In My Room" (live)

Classic Swine Flu track...

The RO Report, "Swine Flu" Edition

Man, wouldn't it be an awful week just to come down with the normal flu?

Anyway, I'm shot in many ways. Here's the numbers.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader A, $9,042 on 100k shares traded.

2. Trader D, $6,229 on 365k shares traded.
3. Trader M*, $1,666 on 0 shares traded.
4. Trader 10*, $1,628 on 2,300 shares traded.
5. Trader N, $1,313 on 65,000 shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader B, -$2,306 on 461k shares traded.

2. Trader 9*, -$1,061 on 0 shares traded.
3. Trader $, -$838 on 22,800 shares traded.
4. Trader C, -$710 on 0 shares traded.
5. Trader F, -$529 on 94,400 shares traded.

The World Is Coming To An End, Part 4,325,349

Looks like the dark horse candidate to end the world, swine flu, is going to do it. For all of you who voted for swine flu in my "How Is The World Going To End?" poll from a few months ago, congratulations, I guess.

All I know is that I was at the Mets game yesterday and couldn't even enjoy myself because I heard every single cough and sneeze in the place. Looking around, there were many people who had the glossed-over look that idiots often enjoy, that blasted look of ignorance. But they were happy and drunk and I thought, for a brief second that perhaps, they win afterall.

Anyway, the fear box will be all over this one for the next few weeks at least. This global financial meltdown/revolution is getting a bit played out.

UPDATE: Oh, and that plane escorted by a military jet over the Hudson? That was just a pre-planned flight... It tanked the futures though... that was Part 4,325,350.

Animal Collective, "In The Flowers" (live)

Fuck bad music. I can't do it. I've been punished enough this week. I have this song on repeat. Have a good weekend.

The RO Report, "Blasted" Edition

The hits keep coming!

When people used to learn that I trade for a living they would invariably say, "That must be stressful." I'd answer, "No, it's not stressful. You know what's stressful? Working for a boss... having someone tell you what to do and how to do it. That's stressful."

Today when people ask me if the job is stressful I simply say, "Yeah."

My nerves have been reduced to yogurt. It's been a tough year and as I explained to "La Comunista" today, it's been made worse by this nagging feeling of hopefulness. I feel like I'm so close to doing well but I keep getting smacked down. I take cold comfort from knowing it's been a tough year for most of the RO. I'm also between thinking I need a vacation and thinking I need to bear down... in short, thank god it's Friday.

The RO got smoked today though there were a couple of bright spots not the least of which was the overall market performance. Out of 30 traders today, 19 were gross positive or 63%. 5 traders made over $1,000 gross and 8 lost over $1,000 gross. I was #18 of 30. Gross positive but deep in the red due to heavy trading.

The Manservants took it today...

"Chambermaid" - Trader A, -$13,409 on 520k shares traded.

2. Trader Z, -$12,293 on 791k shares traded.
3. Trader D, -$6,389 on 216k shares traded.
4. Trader P, -$6,076 on 510k shares traded.
5. Trader E, -$2,775 on 61,800 shares traded.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader F, $8,638 on 523k shares traded.

2. Trader H*, $8,464 on 29,700 shares traded.
3. Trader N, $4,301 on 382k shares traded.
4. Trader B, $2,310 on 473k shares traded.
5. Trader O, $1,714 on 32,200 shares traded.

Coheed and Cambria, "Delerium Trigger"

Trader A just missed the spray but I owed him one. Nice day, A.

The RO Report, "La Comunista" Edition

Truly something is up with the IYR. I know I sound like a broken record here but this thing is trading strange. Everyday the close... I don't know.

I had a solid day today. Most of my profits came from two trades. One from the reputable trading newsletter HCPG on CNX. The other, from a far less reputable source who will go unnamed... I will simply call him "La Comunista" which, well, I don't even know what language that is but I think I'll calling him a female communist. Good enough. The trade was in NOV.

My only problem was missing the last 20 minutes... anyway, I'm exhausted today. Two straight dawn sessions of surf will do that. Perhaps I need to go to the ocean each day at dawn whether or not there is surf... I seem to trade better.

Anyway, out of 34 traders today 21 were gross positive or 62%. 5 traders made over $1,000 gross and 4 traders lost over $1,000 gross. I was #4 of 34 or bossy.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader A, $16,132 on 100k shares traded.

2. Trader Z, $8,370 on 244k shares traded.
3. Trader N, $3,729 on 162k shares traded.
4. Trader S, $1,886 on 79,000 shares traded.
5. Trader H*, $1,379 on 17,900 shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader D, -$5,573 on 197k shares traded.

2. Trader C, -$4,496 on 54,000 shares traded.
3. Trader M*, -$1,815 on 0 shares traded.
4. Trader J, -$1,792 on 57,000 shares traded.
5. Trader $, -$751 on 24,800 shares traded.

The RO Report, "Tits" Edition

"Tits" is doing some weird shit lately on incredible volume. I dare say that all of this volume without significant price advancement could be topping action. But that's neither here nor there... perhaps I'm still smarting over my 10k SRS loss yesterday. Or perhaps I'm pissed I didn't trade the afternoon cascade in IYR better...

Life goes on.

I don't know if I'm making too much of this, but I didn't like the close. Sure AAPL could change all of that with a hot earnings report, but if not, I'm starting to feel like we may be in for more downside. The IYR is simply acting strange. And check out the close in JPM and WFC...

The RO had a pretty solid day again. Out of 32 traders today, 22 were gross positive or 69% (hmmmm-mmm). 9 traders made over $1,000 gross and 5 lost over $1,000 gross. I had a decent comeback and was #9 of 32. Trader B had an impressive spray.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader B, $24,217 on 509k shares traded.

2. Trader D, $10,190 on 226k shares traded.
3. Trader C, $9,710 on 125k shares traded.
4. Trader E, $3,997 on 127k shares traded.
5. Trader Z, $3,025 on 164k shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader F, -$7,447 on 151k shares traded.

2. Trader H*, -$3,162 on 18,600 shares traded.
3. Trader J, -$1,392 on 22,800 shares traded.
4. Trader 9*, -$1,148 on 6,200 shares traded.
5. Trader 6*, -$1,104 on 900 shares traded.

A Rest

I'm taking this morning off to surf. Honestly, every penny I've lost over the last 3 weeks has been before 10:30. So today I'll skip the morning, come in with clear eyes and see how that goes.

Flaming Lips, "Waiting For Superman" (cover)

I just couldn't punish myself with bad music tonight.

The RO Report, "All Blowed Up" Edition

I lost $10,000 in SRS today. The report will be up later. I'm having trouble getting the puke out of my keyboard.

UPDATE: It's funny to take an objective look at a graph after you've given back a shitload of coin in it. You always think... "I was doing what?"

The worst thing about a blowup is that you think to yourself, "I could have taken off every day since January 1st and I'd be in a better financial situation than I find myself in here on April 21st. And psychologically? Forget about it..." But that's the game we (right now unfortunately) play. Right now it is what it is.

The way I'm looking at recent developments is with a dose of perspective. I think the word is "elasticity." I am stretching here... growing. In a year I will be a better trader. That's the way I need to look at this. Meanwhile, there was so much opportunity out there today. If you weren't trading with blinders on, you probably made some money. Of course, this compounds the horror of my day, but so be it. Moving forward.

It was a solid day for the RO. Out of 31 traders today, 20 were gross positive or 65%. 13 made over $1,000 gross and 5 lost over $1,000 gross. I was #31 of 31 or, the Chambermaid.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader A, $33,462 on 208k shares traded.

2. Trader B, $18,038 on 553k shares traded.
3. Trader N, $7,435 on 225k shares traded.
4. Trader P, $6,824 on 148k shares traded.
5. Trader F, $5,039 on 94,000 shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader S, -$4,536 on 621k shares traded.

2. Trader M*, -$4,507 on 0 shares traded.
3. Trader Z, -$3,004 on 369k shares traded.
4. Trader 10*, -$2,940 on 3,300 shares traded.
5. Trader C, -$1,028 on 204k shares traded.

Poll Closed; Blogger Is Slow.

-Compsognathus Dinosaur

So out of 100 of you, 56 say the page is loading slowly. That's 56% for you idiots (or, 87% of you... 19 heads just exploded). Anyway, I think removing my Twitter updates helped but still, my time at this address is growing shorter.

I've received hundreds, no thousands, of emails regarding my elite $5,000 monthly subscription based newsletter/basement apartment offer. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and the demand has made me question whether $5,000 a month is enough. To sweeten the deal further, I promise to scoop the cat litter boxes twice daily, as opposed to the current once a day schedule (the litter boxes are located in the "basement apartment.")

I have also decided to break the subscription rates into a few levels. I will post more on this later. Just know the lowest level will be the "Compsognathus" level at $36.50 monthly. Why $36.50? Because this will put me into direct competition with the HCPG newsletter (they charge $37.50 a month).

As always, fuck the HCPG people and their "female" West Coast ways.

Finally, I just want to point out that after blogging at a searing pace to begin this year I have substantially slowed down. You bastards still get 3 posts a day but it should be clear to long time readers that I'm not even trying anymore.

That said, I feel the juices starting to flow again...

In fact, just the other day I had a real confrontation with a 7-11 employee regarding hazlenut coffee. More on this soon.

The Shins, "New Slang (when you notice the stripes)"

A song you should know.