Living Manliness

This morning, after I went surfing, I stopped to get some coffee. I was feeling charitable, so I picked one up for Judy as well.

When I got to the counter to pay, I even decided to pick up a blueberry and banana smoothie for my daughter. I was in a really good mood.

Anyway, so I had two large coffees and a smoothie. I paid, and the woman asked me if I wanted a carrying tray.

"No thanks," I said. "I got it." I felt really green, and I could see that my masculinity was almost too much for the woman to bear... I stacked the three cups and head for the door.

My car was probably 200 feet from the coffee shop. It became clear to me as I walked down the steps, that the cups were in a rather precarious position and that the bottom of the paper coffee cup was digging uncomfortably into my thumb.

But I soldiered on, carrying the cups in that position, through the pain, and even managed to smile at a couple of people as I passed. I could see, by the expressions on their faces, that they thought I was one "bad customer" carrying the cups like that.

When I got to the car, there was an indent in my thumb. I didn't even complain about it much to myself in my head. I just told myself, "shit like that happens to tough guys" and I got in my car and drove home, ready to battle the markets.

Dinosaur Trader... trader, tough guy.

Paraphrasology

-Don Delillo

He drove along turnpikes and skyways, seeing Manhattan come and go in a valium sunset, smoky and golden. The car wobbled in the sound booms of highballing trucks, drivers perched in tall cabs with food, drink, dope and pornography, and the rigs seemed to draw the little car down the pike in their sheering wind. He drove past enormous tank farms, squat white cylinders arrayed across the swampland, and he saw white dome tanks in smaller groupings and long lines of tank cars rolling down the tracks. He went past power pylons with their spindly arms akimbo. He drove into the spewing smoke of acres of burning truck tires and the planes descended and the transit cranes stood in rows at the marine terminal and he saw billboards for Hertz and Avis and Chevy Blazer, for Marlboro, Continental and Goodyear, and he realized that all the things around him, the planes taking off and landing, the streaking cars, the tires on the cars, the cigarettes that the drivers of the cars were dousing in their ashtrays--all these were on the billboards around him, systematically linked in some self-referring relationship that had a kind of neurotic tightness, an inescapability, as if the billboards were generating reality, and of course he thought of Dinosaur Trader.

The Pixies, "Ana"

Points for whoever can figure out the "secret message" of this song. And no, it has nothing to do with Marilyn Monroe...



Hint: The last line of the song...

ALSO: My blogroll is still fucked up... apologies. I will soon have plenty of time to fix this place up a bit.

The RO Report, "Porn Thursday" Edition

Okay, not sure if I'll be getting the numbers this evening. I know it was a tough day overall, with Trader Z being the only one up size, $8k. There were a couple of large drawdowns (Trader A was down $11gs by noon) and then a lot of static in between... about 50% were up and 50% were down.

I was up. At noon, I was #6 of 25 traders.

Look, summer is officially here. It's not even Friday and we BARELY edged over a billion shares on the NYSE. My advice to you... don't churn a sleepy market. It is a good way to kill your confidence and "ass mangle" your capital.

I will update this post should I get the numbers.

Go watch the Zorb video again... it's classic.

See you tomorrow.

Getting Closer...

While the shark has disappeared, the first storm is intensifying and moving due west, towards the Gulf. Expect this to become a topic of discussion on CNBC over the next couple of days if it develops into a hurricane.

Action Colleen!

This may be one of my favorite Internet videos ever... if only the Zorb could get to CNBC headquarters to take out Maria...


Hot Reporter Completely Owned by Zorb - Watch more free videos

NOTE: I'm seriously addicted to this video... it's perfect.

Another Guy Who Shouldn't Be A Trader

Old guy would lose his shirt... "sonamabich" behind the counter on the other hand, has a good shot at success.


Angry Old Man Cant Take a Joke - Watch more free videos

Belle & Sebastian, "Dirty Dream Number 2"

Great lyrics, one of my favorite B&S songs. Thought it appropriate given the "spray" version of the RO.

The RO Report, "Spray" Edition

It's always great when you see a trader who works really hard, have their best day ever. Today, Trader C traded like an absolute lunatic, in a low volume, summer market, and kicked ass.

It wasn't easy... he swung from up $14k, to down $5k (in a matter of 30 minutes) and then back up to close at his highs of the day. In RO parlance, he "sprayed" the office, as in, marked his territory. Told everyone, "don't fuck with me" and made loot.

It was actually a good day for many traders, which I found surprising, and yes, frustrating. Out of 24 traders, 17 were positive, or 71%. 11 traders were up gross $1000 or more. I was number 15 of 24.

To give more depth to the RO, to "round it out" a bit, I've decided to list the top 5 and bottom 5 each day instead of just the top 3. Also, contact me (only serious inquiries.. email under profile) if you're interested in learning more about the RO, as in, joining my company.

Hence, DT is hiring.

Anyway, here's the numbers:

The Top 5:

1. Trader C, $27,077 on 564k shares traded.
2. Trader B, $8,726 on 428k shares traded.
3. Trader D, $7,140 on 143k shares traded.
4. Trader F, $5,720 on 180k shares traded.
5. Trader J, $4,810 on 83k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader P, -$884 on 108k shares traded.
2. Trader #2, -$710 on 30k shares traded.
3. Trader U, -$387 on 2,400 shares traded.
4. Trader A, -$323 on 310k shares traded.
5. Trader H, -$256 on 11k shares traded.

NOTE: Also, anyone interested in "guest blogging" for the last 2 weeks of August, please email me. I'm taking off.

HAPPENING NOW!!!!

CNN is covering a window washer platform collapse at a Florida hotel.

Sigh...


-non newsworthy window washer, August 2008

The only thing that would make this legitimate news is if Brangelina's baby was somehow on that platform.

DT Is Hiring!

Developing...

Gil Scott Heron, "Whitey On The Moon"

The RO Report

I traded very actively today, mostly because I lost money early and had to stick around to try and make it back... luckily, I did.

In fact, that pretty much sums up the day for the RO. It was a complete and total bloodbath in the morning, with only 3 or 4 traders gross positive. By the end of the day, things got better.

Still, it wasn't exactly a great day... volume on the NYSE is officially at "summer doldrum" levels, and it's a good time to get some sun. Many traders (including me) are planning on taking off the entire last 2 weeks of the month.

Anyway, out of 22 traders today, 11 were positive, or 50%. I was #10 of 22.

Here's the top 3:

1. Trader Z, $8,605 on 114k shares traded.
2. Trader C, $6,076 on 220k shares traded.
3. Trader A, $4,845 on 223k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader B, -$22,750 on 616k shares traded.
2. Trader G, -$3,576 on 35k shares traded.
3. Trader D, -$2,504 on 372k shares traded.

McCain's Georgia Speech

"the Democratic Republic of Georgia, pictured here, in 2008, before the war.

Not sure if his speechwriters were smoking herb when they wrote this speech, but McCain (who, incidentally, said "my friends" 821 times during the 5 minute speech) called Georgia a "brave little nation" and then a "tiny little democracy" and then finished off by saying, "Today, we're all Georgians." WTF?

When does the Disney movie come out?

Another Person Who Should Never, EVER Trade

Goofy Kid Gets Ultimate Wedgie - Watch more free videos

Sonic Youth, "The Diamond Sea"

The RO Report

It was a pretty rough day for the RO today. Most traders were deep in the red until the end of the day. I find this market strange in that it seems to be easier to make money at the end of the day, than at the beginning.

Anyway, I don't have much color since I only traded a half day...

Out of 23 traders, 12 were positive, or 52%. I was #8 of 24. Note "Trader #1," who wasn't in the office the day I made the alphabet list. In the future, if there are new members that didn't make the original list, they'll be assigned numbers.

Here are the top 3:

1. Trader H $7,880 on 15k shares traded.
2. Trader D $4,137 on 452k shares traded.
3. Trader B $2,532 on 514k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader A -$17,478 on 46k shares traded.
2. Trader Z -$8,929 on 78k shares traded.
3. Trader #1 -$2,478 on 75k shares traded.

Two Possible Hurricanes, One Gigantic Shark

2 potential hurricanes are forming in the lower Atlantic. While that news is bad, what makes it much worse is the presence of a gargantuan shark, following just behind the storm systems. Note the large, menacing fin.



Should these systems continue westward, they could confront and damage some of the oil rigs that reside in the Gulf Of Mexico. My theory (non-scientific) is that after injuring the rigs, the great oil shark will come and eat them, thereby sending the price of Natty Gas and Oil through the roof.

Smog, "River Guard"

The RO Report

Well, another Friday, another smokefest in the RO. It was painful out there for most of the traders. Until around 3:00, less than 20% of the office was gross positive.

Luckily, things turned around somewhat, but still, it was ugly. Out of 22 traders, 12 were positive, or 54%. I was #9 of 22.

Anyway, have a good weekend. Summer is on the wane... have some fun.

Here's the top:

1. Trader A, $26,241 on 203k shares traded.
2. Trader Z, $7,165 on 191k shares traded.
3. Trader H, $4,565 on 5k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader D, -$20,129 on 610k shares traded.
2. Trader B, -$16,366 on 1.2mil shares traded.
3. Trader F, -$5,224 on 201k shares traded.