Esignal Customer Service

Simply the worst.

They are in desperate need of more competition.

Just saying...

Celine Dion, "Think Twice"

FML.

The RO Report, "Holiday Week" Edition

Seriously, who would have thought there were so many religious types out trading the market. I thought all market participants were atheists.

The volume blows, the action blows, I'm gonna have to start turning tricks to feed my family. I'll just go right out and say it, fuck the easter bunny and colored eggs.

Software is still fucked up. It's like back to 2007 for this damned blog.

I lost money again. More bad music to come.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader B, $7k

2. Trader Z, $4k
3. Trader T, $1,500
4. Trader C, $1k
5. Trader V, $1k

"Chambermaid" - Trader A, -$5k

2. Trader H*, -$4k
3. Trader 9*, -$3k
4. Trader J, -$1k
5. Trader E, -$800

George Soros's Bottom

Gross title, right?

Anyway, I don't have too much of an opinion on George Soros. I'm guessing if I did a little research that I could easily find a few reasons to hate on him. Like, I'm sure his carbon footprint is fucking enormous.

Okay wait, I do have a legitimate reason to hate him. I just read that he thinks The Bottom will look like "an inverted square root sign."

Seriously dude, WTF? Lets just stick to letters of the alphabet. The square root, in my mind, has had a flawless reputation since the 5th or 6th grade. Why you want to drag it into the global economic meltdown is besides me.

Meanwhile, I just inverted a square root sign and to me, it looks like an uptrend. You're confusing me with this bullshit and your fake "whereever you come from (not America)" accent.

Anyway, here's the full article. He sounds really gloomy and depressed. It could be the economy doing that to him, but I think it's possible that it's his face too.

Man I'm in a vile mood.

Celine Dion & Barbara Steisand, "Tell Him"

This is just... I don't know. Pure punishment. My performance today was ghastly. I can't believe music like this exists... shoot me.

The RO Report, "Fuckt Dinosaur" Edition

The software is still messed up... apologies until we get it fixed. We're in a depression for chrissakes, so just chill out and deal.

I got killed.

"Chambermaid" - Trader A, -$26k

2. Trader C, -12k
3. Trader Z, -$12k
4. Trader P, -$4k
5. Trader S, -$3k

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader F, $1,700

2. Trader B, $1500
3. Trader O, $1000
4. Trader H, $800
5. Trader L, $800

The Quiet Coup, Indeed...

My friends over at HCPG have been updating their blog again by offering up some very good reading. Incidentally, in an attempt to grow their readership, they have been experimenting with "sexing" the place up, via an edgy advertising campaign. Through an inside source I am able to provide you all with a bit of a scoop regarding the direction they're heading.

Anyway, it will take some time, but read the following article in its entirety to get a very unbiased opinion on how our financial system got into its current mess and what we're going to have to do to get out of it.

Normally, I would wait until Friday to post this with my links. But since the article is longer than what I normally post, and since your reading comprehension skills have been hampered by surfing porn all day long in between making stock trades, I decided to post it by itself.

The RO Report, "Fuckt Software" Edition

The RO software went awry, so I have this third-world type RO report for you. I'm not even going to dress it up.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader A, $29k

2. Trader P, $17k
3. Trader N, $16k
4. Trader H*, $9k
5. Trader C, $9k

"Chambermaid" - Trader J, -$4k

2. Trader R, -$800
3. Trader 10*, -$600
4. Trader Y, -$228
5. Trader O, -$70

Have a good weekend.

Week In Review, Not Really

I don't have much, okay I have nothing. I forgot to keep track of my links. But I did get the new Surfers Journal yesterday and I can't stop staring at the cover. I am obsessed.

Now, I'm gonna say that this girl is hot, but it's not in the way you're used to when checking out hot girls on the Internet.

I love this picture.

Silver Jews, "Punks In The Beerlight"

"If we'd known what it'd take to get here, would we have chosen to?"

The RO Report, "Size" Edition

I don't have too much to say tonight, cos my brain is fried. The last few days I've really stepped up my position sizes and I feel exhausted.

The RO kicked ass without me. But as long as I don't blow myself up first, I don't think I'm too far away from getting back into the mix with these bitches.

Anyway, out of 30 traders today, 26 were gross positive or 87%. 15 traders made over $1,000 gross with 6 traders making over $10,000 gross. 1 trader lost over $1,000 gross. I was #21 of 30, disappointing.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader A, $50,278 on 1.1 million shares traded.

2. Trader B, $30,120 on 1.3 million shares traded.
3. Trader C, $21, 135 on 1.2 million shares traded.
4. Trader H*, $17,794 on 21,600 shares traded.
5. Trader P, $11,794 on 223k shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader &, -$1,197 on 87,800 shares traded.

2. Trader M*, -$711 on 0 shares traded.
3. Trader 4*, -$472 on 0 shares traded.
4. Trader T, -$403 on 2,100 shares traded.
5. Trader Y, $28 on 15,800 shares traded.

The RO Report, "April Fools" Edition

I enjoyed imagining what the Anonymous haters made of the RO post yesterday.

Anyway, here's really what went down yesterday. It wasn't pretty.

Out of 30 traders, 18 were gross positive or 60%. 3 traders made over $1,000 gross and 6 lost over $1,000 gross. I was #3 of 30.

"Chambermaid" - Trader A, -$14,109 on 1.3 million shares traded.

2. Trader N, -$5,597 on 302k shares traded.
3. Trader J, -$4,298 on 81,600 shares traded.
4. Trader R, -$2,986 on 52,300 shares traded.
5. Trader C, -$2,748 on 950k shares traded.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader P, $2,826 on 58,400 shares traded.

2. Trader 9*, $2,266 on 6,700 shares traded.
3. Trader S, $1,421 on 113k shares traded.
4. Trader M*, $803 on 0 shares traded.
5. Trader L, $726 on 12,800 shares traded.

The Beatles, "Blue Jay Way"

The RO Report, "Nashville Skyline" Edition

I was listening to some Joni Mitchell while I was trading today. Her lyrics are like, so spiritual or something, you know? Anyway, they moved me. Deeply.

Then, (amidst placing some large stock orders) I decided to step outside and do some gardening. Perhaps it was the Joni Mitchell that was influencing me, but I glanced down at a dead brown leaf resting on some moss and I quickly wrote down the following line...

"As gentle as a leaf, resting on a bed of moss."

Just then a crow flew by. It's wings pushed down on the air and made a sound like this, "wish, wish, wish, wish, wish." It was really beautiful. I thought about things I'm wishing for... like peace... and love. And truth be told, I shed a tear as I breathed deep into the beauty of life.

Anyway, so I've decided today to eschew the RO report and instead offer you all some poetry. Money is so crass when measured against the beauty of our surroundings, no? Be happy in the knowledge that if you lost a little money today that another of your stock market brethren made some. Please enjoy, and peace.

The title of this poem is, "The Spirit Likes To Dress Up" and it's by Mary Oliver.


The spirit
likes to dress up like this:
ten fingers,
ten toes,

shoulders, and all the rest
at night
in the black branches,
in the morning

in the blue branches
of the world.
It could float, of course,
but would rather

plumb rough matter.
Airy and shapeless thing,
it needs
the metaphor of the body,

lime and appetite,
the oceanic fluids;
it needs the body's world,
instinct

and imagination
and the dark hug of time,
sweetness
and tangibility,

to be understood,
to be more than pure light
that burns
where no one is --

so it enters us --
in the morning
shines from brute comfort
like a stitch of lightning;

and at night
lights up the deep and wondrous
drownings of the body
like a star.

Eagles, "Hotel California" (Live)

Trader F with the spray. Well done.

The RO Report, "Tilt" Edition

At 2:30, Judy ran through the back door yelling for me to come downstairs. At the time, I was short 2000 SPY. Our daughter was covered head to toe in hives and freaking out.

30 minutes later, the hives disappeared and I returned upstairs to find myself stopped out of my SPY at the high of the day. After that, I plain tilted. I turned a boring day into a bad day.

End of story.

The RO fared a little better. Out of 31 traders today, 19 were gross positive or 61%. 4 traders made over $1,000 gross, while 5 traders lost over $1,000 gross. I was a Manservant, #27 of 31.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader F, $11,080 on 567k shares traded.

2. Trader A, $1,393 on 258k shares traded.
3. Trader P, $1,113 on 15,000 shares traded.
4. Trader G, $1,019 on 61,248 shares traded.
5. Trader E, $628 on 27,400 shares traded.

"Chambermaid" - Trader C, -$5,129 on 639k shares traded.

2. Trader B, -$2,947 on 662k shares traded.
3. Trader 10*, -$1,102 on 0 shares traded.
4. Trader H*, -$1,087 on 25,300 shares traded.
5. Trader S, -$1,045 on 86,400 shares traded.

Your Camel

You have lost your camel, my friend
And all around you people are full of advice
You don't know where your camel is,
But you do know that these casual directions are wrong.

-Rumi

Condo Fucks, "What'cha Gonna Do About It?"

I owe Trader A a song... he sprayed, but I split too early to get his song choice. I don't think this is his style...

The RO Report, "Bears Are Lame" Edition

No volume behind today's move... you'd think after such a massive run that once the market broke a bit the bears would be out in force.

Instead it felt more like a buyer's strike.

Face it, the price and volume action on this recent rally has been absolutely perfect. If you're bearish, fine, but so far I'm not convinced.

I caught some excellent waves post close. Not that you care.

Anyway, the RO got a bit ass-slammed today. Out of 33 traders today 13 were gross positive or 39%. 3 traders made over $1,000 gross and 7 lost over $1,000 gross. I was #8 of 33. I'll take that anyday.

Note the rare George Michael. When a trader's swing and daytrading account are the bottom two accounts for the day...

"George Michael" - Trader H*, -$11,924 on 17,300 shares traded.

2. Trader B, -$7,545 on 1.3 million shares traded.
3. Trader P, -$7,186 on 458k shares traded.
4. Trader D, -$6,848 on 214k shares traded.
5. Trader &, -$3,912 on 50,000 shares traded.

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader A, $26,641 on 284k shares traded.

2. Trader F, $5,307 on 142k shares traded.
3. Trader C, $5,283 on 680k shares traded.
4. Trader K, $906 on 29,800 shares traded.
5. Trader V, $890 on 52,964 shares traded.

Making Some Changes

I've been busy/lazy, okay? Leave me alone.

I am in the midst of making some changes to this blog. I will be stripping it down and pimping it out, so to speak.

Developing...