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Arcade Fire, "Black Mirror"

The RO Report, "200 Point Swings Are Boring" Edition

The talk early on in the office, was how we expected a chopfest, and how we were all going to be careful these next two days ahead of the FOMC meetings. It was a typical Monday morning, and no one was looking forward to jumping into the market.

Then "Trader D" decided it was going to be a "market up" day and made a quick $10,000 in the first 45 minutes. That got everyone's juices flowing, but still, there wasn't a lot going on as far as widespread trading profits go. Volume was lame, the indexes were choppy.

But taking a closer look at the Dow, we had a 250 point rip between noon and 2pm, and then a 250 point tank between 2pm and 3pm. A round trip, if you will. That's amazing... we hardly noticed it.

However, we did take note of the 200 point drop in the last 10 minutes of the day... that was ugly.

It also washed out "Trader D" who, inspired by the round-trip made by the market, made the grueling trip from being "Lucky Pierre" to "Chambermaid," all in a matter of minutes. Not fun.

Henceforth, whenever a trader goes from the top of the list to close at the bottom, he will be called a "Chambermaid & Chode."

So it was a mediocre day in the RO. Again, some guys made money, but a good number also lost. It's a minefield out there. The Bosses barely took the day.

I have pumpkins to carve, so let's get to the numbers. Out of 25 traders today, 14 were gross positive, or 56%. The top 8 traders all made over $1,000 gross and the bottom 7 all lost over $1,000 gross. I was #4 of 25; Bossy. Look, these numbers are hardly confidence inspiring, be careful out there until the trade becomes more manageable again, perhaps after Wednesday.

Here are today's Bosses:

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader A, $8,584 on 277k shares traded.

2. Trader B, $6,206 on 150k shares traded.
3. Trader P, $3,547 on 87,600 shares traded.
4. Trader S, $2,741 on 20,600 shares traded.
5. Trader Z, $1,780 on 25,400 shares traded.

And the Manservants:

"Chambermaid & Chode" - Trader D, -$13,026 on 204k shares traded.

2. Trader C, -$5,420 on 171k shares traded.
3. Trader M*, -$1,631 on 0 shares traded.
4. Trader 6*, -$1,526 on 0 shares traded.
5. Trader H*, -$1,419 on 9,400 shares traded.

*swing accounts.

Fuck All Celebrities And The Media

I don't give a fuck about Kate Hudson's nephew.

Bad things happen to good people everyday.

However, the media should be focusing on more important things like, (and this is just off the top of my head), why we're in a financial crisis, and the presidential election.

This Dog Needs Perspective

Each morning, I wake up, open my blog, and check out what's going on over there to the right with my "Cavemen." Wall Street Fighter is consistently rewarding.

Check out this video which he linked today. Hilarious.



Anyway, on a more serious note, the Yen is freaking people out. The Nikkei traded at a 26 year low today. You know where a 26 year low would put the Dow? Around 775.

The End Is Near

I can't wait for the end of this election. The outcome will influence two major life decisions for me.



First, whether or not I can have another child immediately. And second, if I will remain living in the U.S.

DT Versus The RO On Friday

The Postal Service, "Such Great Heights"

I like the Iron and Wine version better, but this will do.

The RO Report, "Survivor Guilt (Not Really)" Edition

It was a complete bloodbath in the RO today, and coming out of the carnage squeaky clean, downright healthy even, makes me feel really, really, bad. good.

I mean, imagine being on a plane with all your friends and their smoking hot girlfriends. The plane crashes on a desert island. All your friends are maimed, but their hot girlfriends are perfectly fine and so are you. You quickly discover that the cargo area of the plane is loaded with comfortable mattresses, lubrication, and food. Meanwhile, there is an herb covering the island which causes nymphomania if it is breathed in, at all...

Can you imagine how AWESOME that would be? That's what it's like to be me right now... better yet, I have an entire weekend to revel in my victory.

That's right, fuck the RO. My only problem with today is that those scums didn't lose more...

It's hard to understand what the hell the guys were thinking today, trading like complete crackheads and shit. But the fact of the matter is, most of the guys in the office are total idiots. I'm smarter and better looking than them all. In time, they'll be calling me in the middle of the night, asking me how I've survived at trading for 10 years, and marveling at my ability to emerge from a two year slump as a "Lucky Pierre."

They'll be like, "Hey, DT, take a look at this graph... isn't that a strong uptrend?" And I'll be like, "No idiot, that's a downtrend, and the stock is going to zero. Anyway, are you good at 'sheetrocking?' My 8th house needs a new media center."

It was the worst day in awhile for the RO. Out of 24 traders, only 8 were gross positive, or 33%. In fact, that may be the lowest number I've ever reported in that category. Worse yet, only 1 remarkable trader (ahem) finished up over $1,000 gross, while the bottom 14 traders lost over $1,000 each.

I was #1 of 24. Repeat, I was #1 of 24.

Indeed, this weekend will be the most glory-filled weekend of my life. I may even let Judy order something that's not on the dollar menu.

Normally, I would put the Manservants "on top" since they handily defeated the Bosses today. However, since today is really about me and my victory, I'm putting the Bosses on top.

Here are today's Bosses:

"Lucky Pierre" Trader S, $2,842 on 109k shares traded.

2. Trader O, $794 on 12,400 shares traded.
3. Trader V, $664 on 32,400 shares traded.
4. Trader T, $600 on 3,200 shares traded.
5. Trader X, $439 on 33,800 shares traded.

And the Manservants:

"Chambermaid" - Trader B, -$35,809 on 605k shares traded.

2. Trader F, -$28,342 on 136k shares traded.
3. Trader E, -$19,055 on 201k shares traded.
4. Trader C, -$9,595 on 150k shares traded.
5. Trader N, -$4,361 on 121k shares traded.

NOTE TO STOCK BLOGGERS: Please link this post so that my victory will ring out throughout the Internets all weekend.

NOTE TO AMERICAN CITIZENS: Please lobby your local lawmakers to make October 24th National Dinosaur Trader day. Thank you.

Bullshit, The Commodity

-"bullshit" circa 1962

If Bullshit was a commodity, it'd be limit up right now.

The volume today is HIGHLY suspect, as in, there's none of it. For a day when the futures opened limit down, this low volume bounce is ridiculous.

The close will be very important and most likely, scary.

Remember to focus on volume. Without it, nothing matters.

An Eerie Morning...

For you neophytes, that flat line preceding the open means that the futures were "limit down." I haven't seen that in my decade of trading.



The open, has been anti-climactic. Volume is relatively light. It feels like walking under very shaky scaffolding on a windy day.

NYSE Circuit Breakers

BUMP: With futures "limit down" I figured we may need this. Good luck, watch your ass.

These were updated on September 30th.



In order for the exchange to halt trading, the Dow would have to be down 1100 points by 2pm. We came within 300 of that yesterday, so it's not out of the question going forward.

Just FYI.

Hustle And Flow, "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp"

There was some debate today whether or not "Trader D" sprayed enough to get the song. Gross, he didn't double Trader A. However, net, he probably did. Anyway, he deserves this for walking away with a million long and putting his shit on "auto close" at 3:59:20. Pretty bossy.

The RO Report, "When In Rome..." Edition

I got smoked right off the bat today. Actually, not true. First I made $500, and then I lost $2500 getting short HES and SPY and buying DDR. Then I made it all back when I bought DDR again. I decided to go surfing. This was at 11am.

I came back to find the market had dropped over 500 points while I was out in the sun. The office sounded exhausted and no one had cleaned up during the drop. This seemed strange. I started trading again at around 2:45 and immediately lost a grand shorting SPY into the huge rip.

The market then got itself into a range. But the SPY was acting downright freaky. There were huge spikes up and down. The office was in a rage trying to divine what the hell was going to happen next.

Well, guess what? The same shit that happened yesterday, happened again today. At 3:40, we had an explosive rally to the upside. I'm not sure if this is the new normal. However, since REIT stocks started acting like crack whores, I decided that hell, I'd act like a crack whore too and just start buying them, despite the fact that they looked very overextended off their lows. Who knows? The market acts crazy and I guess sometimes you just have to act crazier...

It was a fairly mixed day in the RO. This too, seems to be the new normal. A month ago, we were all enjoying gains and the trade seemed somewhat easy. The market isn't as easy to trade right now... most traders were on the dark side for at least a portion of the day. There seems to be some type of large shift happening, but I can't put my finger on exactly what it is...

Anyway, out of 25 traders, 13 finished gross positive, or 52%. Not good. The top 8 traders all made over $1,000 gross while the bottom 7 all lost over $1,000 gross. See? Very mixed. Not easy. I was #5 of 26 and happy to make back half my loss from yesterday.

The bosses, largely because of gains from "Trader D" and "Trader A," took the day.

Here are today's Bosses:

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader D, $27,168 on 217k shares traded.

2. Trader A, $13,969 on 287k shares traded.
3. Trader F, $8,648 on 120k shares traded.
4. Trader E, $3,155 on 98,200 shares traded.
5. Trader S, $2,735 on 69,800 shares traded.

And the Manservants:

"Chambermaid" - Trader Z, -$8,802 on 172k shares traded.

2. Trader K, -$4,165 on 55,200 shares traded.
3. Trader C, -$4,050 on 168k shares traded.
4. Trader P, -$1,516 on 130k shares traded.
5. Trader O, -$1,511 on 26,776 shares traded.

NOTE: I just want to give a special thanks to "Trader N." He helps get me these numbers each day. The office has really gotten behind the blog. Also, they support the work I do here.

True, I Lost 5 Grand Yesterday

But things could be worse...

Tag Team, "Whoomp! (There It Is)"

Easily one of the worst songs of all time, featured this evening on my blog because I was a Manservant and none of the Bosses had a relative spray.

The RO Report, "Dead Dinosaur Bounce" Edition

Well, I just got smoked, so it's hard for me to have much to share right now that will be objective... I'm way too focused on the spanking I just took.

It's pretty rare to see the market turn on a dime so late in the day. Especially when all the imbalances are to the sell side and when "down volume" is completely swamping "up volume." But I guess it happens. And when it does, you don't want to be caught short.

Still, despite the late day rip in the indexes, the Dow lost over 500 points and the VIX closed near 70. The only good news there, at least for me, is that I should have plenty of opportunity to make my money back. However, that said, today was pretty dead until the last hour... so you need to stay patient in this market, despite the volatility.

Anyway, many of the ROers played it well and hence, the Bosses won the day.

Let's just get to the numbers. I have a new drug habit to start or something... oh, and as always, if you think you want to do this Godforsaken job, email me.

Out of 26 traders today, 15 were gross positive, or 58%. I was number 23 of 26, or, a Manservant. The top 9 traders finished up over $1,000 gross while the bottom 6 all lost over $1,000 gross.

Here are today's "Bosses"

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader D, $38,262 on 291k shares traded.

2. Trader A, $30,717 on 355k shares traded.
3. Trader Z, $24,747 on 142k shares traded.
4. Trader C, $18,256 on 146k shares traded.
5. Trader E, $8,128 on 101k shares traded.

And the "Manservants"

"Chambermaid" - Trader P, -$23,905 on 126k shares traded.

2. Trader B, -$18,939 on 276k shares traded.
3. Trader S, -$4,594 on 57,400 shares traded.
4. Trader I, -$4,075 on 17,700 shares traded.
5. Trader 6*, -$4,034 on 0 shares traded.

*swing account

Always Have An Exit Plan

Here's another idiot who should never trade. I mean, you get yourself into a bad position in trading, with no exit plan, and Mom won't bail you out.


Moron Fails on Terrible Squat Thrust - Watch more free videos

Death Trading Range

So we gapped lower, had a nice little tank, then rally, and now, death.



I'm not sure how you guys are doing out there, but I always find low volume markets tough to trade. My guess is that I won't make another trade until after 3pm. Just look at the volume drying up...

Again, watch your ass. No reason to overtrade this market.

Palin Sacked

This made my heart sing.


Crazy Protester Interrupts Palin Interview - Watch more free videos