The Christmas/New Year's Eve Interlude

People smile, say "Merry Christmas!" and then live the next 6 days in utter misery as they wait for New Year's Eve.

They just zip through the "Christmas/New Year's Interlude" without much thought.

This got me thinking... linking behavioral expectations to certain days seems to help people focus. For example, on Christmas I give gifts. On Thanksgiving I eat turkey and see my family. On my birthday I fuck my harem of indentured servants.

So lets focus on this "Interlude" for a moment and make it special, like a holiday, so that next year you can use the time more productively.

What if you tried very hard for just these 5 days to focus on the little things that make your life move? Not the "big" New Year's resolution that you'll forget by January 21st. I'm talking more about things like washing the dishes after dinner each night, or feeding your pets.

Could you do these things better? I'm thinking that yes, you could.

Could you put your clothes on faster? How about showering? During the "Interlude" try cutting your shower time by a minute. Then, during the day, spend that entire minute telling someone close to you that you really love them. See what happens. Did they get sick of you after 20 seconds?

Then maybe you need to find a new lover. Congratulations, you have made the interlude work for you.

Do you tailgate? I know I do.

During the "Interlude" try not to tailgate everyone. Instead, focus only on those drivers who "need to learn how to drive." (Of course, always tailgate obvious geriatrics because they're just dangerous.) Then, you'll have a little extra negative energy stored up that you can use elsewhere.

I suggest taking that saved negative energy to start a war with your neighbor. For example, my neighbor blows leaves onto my property when I'm not home. But you see, he's a silly idiot. I work from home, so who do you think is going to win that battle? The moment I see him back down his driveway to head out to his job as "office slave," I return the favor. Meanwhile we both pretend that we don't know what's going on. "Where'd all the leaves come from this year?" Duh.

A silent war like that takes a lot of energy. Again, save up some negativity during the "Interlude" and unleash it when you really need it.

That's making the "Interlude" work for you; that's time well spent.

Now, I'm not sure if this idea will "go national" or anything. It certainly won't help the economy or enslave the lower and middle class, so I can't see the government sponsoring the idea. When is the last time the government really helped you anyway?

Forget it. 2008 is all about empowering yourself. Use the "Interlude" well.