Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The RO Report, "Bailout" Edition

The RO made some bad decisions today and finished in the red. Especially "Trader A."

So tonight I come to you, hat in hand, asking for a bailout.

I mean, look, if "Trader A" has to take his loss today, it could have a negative psychological effect on him which could potentially lead to him trading less. Or he could start to lose money all the time. If this happened, the U.S Government would see an immediate tax revenue hit.

Moreover, should "Trader A" be allowed to fail, the NYSE would lose even more trading volume creating a worse liquidity problem for traders everywhere. This might appear to be inconsequential at first, but consider how added liquidity helps all traders and then you get at the scope of the problem... it's huge. If "Trader A" is not bailed out, traders everywhere will start to make less "cake."

End result? The US Government will lose even more tax revenue. Oh, and terrorism.

So again, while I don't ask you, my cherished readers, for much, tonight I ask you to bailout "Trader A."

All we need is $45,140 by tomorrow. I've done a quick calculation... Perhaps 700 of you will read this before midnight... would you shell out $64.48 to save the stock market? Sounds hefty? Well think of it like this... it's $64.48 tonight, but next month, it could cost you $876 billion.

I apologize for the serious tone I'm striking here, but it's your children's safety and happiness that we're talking about. You thought we were talking about a stock trader? No. Not at all. I'm talking to you about your children. Should you fail to cough up the $64.48, your children will die.

Anyway, out of 25 traders today, 13 were gross positive, or 52%. 8 traders made over $1,000 gross, and 8 traders lost over $1,000 gross. Again, we have volatility, but not an easy trading environment. Volume on the eminis came in at 2.8 million, not bad... so still not sure what's making this month more difficult than last.

I was #9 of 25, gross positive but net negative. Shitty.

The Manservants win. This is happening too much.

"Chambermaid" - Trader A, -$45,140 on 461k shares traded.

2. Trader N, -$16,313 on 60,600 shares traded.
3. Trader C, -$9,699 on 174k shares traded.
4. Trader Z, -$4,244 on 190k shares traded.
5. Trader H*, -$4,037 on 1,800 shares traded.

And the Bosses:

"Lucky Pierre" - Trader D, $17,884 on 167k shares traded.

2. Trader B, $4,767 on 478k shares traded.
3. Trader P, $2,430 on 49,114 shares traded.
4. Trader E, $2,339 on 89,200 shares traded.
5. Trader F, $2,086 on 98,600 shares traded.

NOTE: Attitude Trader is back with his Attitude Index. Check it.


Jawbreaker said...

Your either with Trader "A" or with "The Terrorists"

Anonymous said...

Don't you have a union to lobby on your behalf?

I think you'll have better luck with the bailout if you can pass along some union dues to the Congresscritters.

Check with the UAW, I hear they are looking for new members.

Good luck.

Attitude Trader said...

Your plug of my site tonight is fortuitous for your "friend" Trader A because you sucked up to the right guy...how did you know I got a rebate check in the mail today? I'll cover 1/2 of 1 piece of your "bailout pie." A check is in the mail for $32.24. I'm proud to be a part of this truly American tradition.


Dinosaur Trader said...


Indeed. Now go and shop.


BTW, I read your blog and agree with you that the big 3 should be let to fail. That's what they get for producing nothing but bigger and bigger SUVs the last few years.

@ AT,

You sir, are a great American with a fine attitude.


ilscfn said...

this is a truly great post.... my fav so far.

Soulfire said...

You need a acronym for Trader A's bailout plan to make it 100% legit sounding- Let's call it The Trader A Tangible Assets program...or TATA for short.

Help Trader A get his hands on some TATA's before it's too late!

Dinosaur Trader said...

@ils, Thanks.

@soulfire, That's such a great idea, I may need to make you the bailout tzar, or something. Not sure why I didn't think of that...