Crossroads

If you've never had the opportunity to get phoned by your company at 9:28am and told that if you lose much more money that you'll be "cut off" then you haven't really lived yet.

That's right, the risk-manager at my company chose to take my current state of "mindfuckedness" up to a whole new level today by basically declaring me "dead" as a trader.

He could have at least called me last week and told me that I was almost dead.

To just be dead, came as somewhat of a shock.

Funny that I made over 10gs in November despite making the worst trade of my life (FSLR short) but that 2 weeks into December I'm "dead."

Ah well, it's a cold business and I don't take this personally.

That said, I've been with this company for 5 or 6 years. I've been writing them since April looking for help. I was told, in short, that "there was nothing they could do for me." The fact is, I've received loads more help from complete strangers over the Internet via this blog and others.

To those who've offered me constructive criticism, I sincerely thank you very much.

Unfortunately, it didn't help one damn bit.

I kid, I kid...

Now, it's true that I am almost out of trading capital. I can send this company another check and pretend nothing happened, or I can take this opportunity to test the waters at other companies.

I decided to test the waters. Perhaps, I thought, I need a fresh start.

So, by 9:45am, I had a job lined up with another firm. Unless something good happens with my current company before Friday, or unless I hook up with some rich "cougar" and move to Hawaii, as of January 2nd I'll be trading with a new firm.

In an example of "art mirroring reality" this company has a very active group of "remote traders" who work each day in a "virtual office." Just the kind of support I could use.

Speaking of art, I've decided to write a damn book, because this shit is twisted. It'll be like the "my history" posts, but with added sex and violence.

If you or someone you love is a book agent, contact me about the massive advance you're willing to pay me.

Anyway, I lost all of my money today in MOS. Most of it around 10:00am when the stock made a move that only the "hybrid architects" could love.



But really, my problem once again was my ratio of winners to losers. I'm still at a loss as to what I'm doing different these last 2 weeks that has made it nearly impossible for me to bag a winner.

Here's the stats:
P&L, -$713
Best, KMT, $351
Worst, MOS, -$794

20,800 shares traded.
10 stocks traded, 2 winners, 8 losers.