Virtual Office, $31,329. Dow, -366.94, 13,522.02.

Me, $2314 on 45,600 shares traded.
Akalawoo, $610 on 12 contracts traded.
Tapeworm, $320 on 4 contracts traded.
Denarii, $52 on 1600 shares traded.
Momojuicing, no trades.
OBAT, -$98 on 7800 shares traded.
Bubs, -$196 on 1500 shares traded.

Wow. If you thought CNBC was stupid before today then after today you must think the entire network has gone braindead.

Listening to Maria rattle off the Market On Close "sell" orders as if they were some new element of the market melting down really pissed me off. Every day at 3:40 the market get hits with these "imbalances" and every day by 3:50, those "imbalances" are corrected.

Today, Maria made a big deal of reading off the MOC orders (though she only focused on the "sell" orders) and then made an equally big deal when many of them were filled at 3:50 (this too, happens every single day). She claimed the fact that the MOC sell orders were being filled meant that the market was "stabilizing."

Pure and utter stupidity. The best thing was that you could hear someone trying to explain to her what an MOC order actually was in the background. Like, in her decade working on the floor of the NYSE she hadn't noticed these things before...

Anyway, sorry to go off on a tangent like that. The point is, don't get your information from CNBC. Watching the TV is only useful if things are blowing up somewhere.

Misstrade made almost $3 per share traded today. That's... amazing. Almost beyond comprehension. Perhaps he will share some of his trades today via the comments section down below. Congrats, MT. Send a steak, okay?

Meanwhile, the rest of the VO really fucked around. Every single stock I "borrow" was nearly impossible to "locate" this morning, pre open... next time that happens I will take it as a sure sign that the market is about to nosedive.

Have a great weekend everyone. I will have an "open thread" up late tonight. Please come by and tell us about your week.

NOTE: This from a comment over at the Fly's site. "Ragin' Cajun said... I happen to like Maria"

And this is why his blog is "third-tier. In fact, I refuse to re-link his blog here as a "punishment" for such idiotic support.