Thursday, June 28, 2007

"Philosophistal"

If I was a stock, I'd imagine the chart would look like hell. Gains in low volume and losses in high volume... the institutions are clearly selling.

Not much to explain today, I barely traded. Here's the stock that accounts for 85% of my loss.



Here are my trades in CF:

9:34:35 Short 200 @ 58.40 (-200)
9:43:56 Short 100 @ 58.31 (-300)
10:03:24 Short 100 @ 58.95 (-400) *note adding to the losing position
10:58:36 Short 100 @ 59.22 (-500)
11:06:57 Short 100 @ 59.56 (-600)
11:23:13 Buy 200 @ 59.70 (-400)
11:24:48 Buy 200 @ 59.74 (-200)
11:41:43 Short 100 @ 59.60 (-300)
11:51:08 Short 100 @ 59.89 (-400)
11:58:58 Buy 200 @ 60.27 (-200)
12:02:16 Short 200 @ 60.24 (-400)
12:25:56 Short 100 @ 60.10 (-500)
14:17:30 Buy 100 @ 59.89 (-400)
14:18:32 Buy 200 @ 60.13 (-200)
14:20:14 Buy 100 @ 60.08 (-100)
14:32:13 Short 500 @ 59.83 (-600)
15:30:21 Buy 500 @ 60.45 (-100)
15:32:20 Buy 400 @ 60.48 (300)
15:32:26 Buy 400 @ 60:48 (700)
15:34:18 Sell 300 @ 60.17 (400)
15:34:26 Sell 400 @ 60.16 (flat)

That, my friends, is about as bad as you can get. I was short the stock all day long, practically from the open until the close and all the stock did was go up.

When I did get long, at 15:32:20 it was all about anger and revenge and I paid the price for that too.

Here is a line from a book I am reading:

"Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us."

The book, incidentally, is not about trading stock, but whatever.

What I feel like after a day like today is that I am making the same mistakes over and over. Kind of like, well, coming apart at the seams on these days. I think it was yesterday that I short stocks all day long while they went up. What am I doing?

I think I am facing a type of annihilation. I am annihilating the trader that I was by recognizing this shit. The next step is correcting the mistakes. Perhaps once this happens I will find those "indestructible" qualities in myself that made me a good trader for all those years. And when I do, perhaps I will undergo some type of rebirth. Or, it's possible that I am killing off the trader in me altogether.

Or, if you're an idiot, you could just say that I suck as a trader, and while currently this "argument" may hold some water, it doesn't get us anywhere, does it?

It may be that I'm in for some period here of self-discovery where I just figure out that trading is not for me anymore. Of course, I can't be sure of that just yet. I'm clearly walking down a new path and I'm not sure where it leads.

But I have some hard realities to face in the coming months which I will be writing about. July is somewhat pivotal for me. When you see me slap up those goddamn Google ads, you'll know that a meteor is clearly heading towards my planet and that a big freaking dust storm is threatening my trading extinction.

When I urge you to click on the ads and put up a little "buy me a beer" widget then you will know that the meteor has hit.

Anyway, for now that is all. As my friend said to me the other day, I'm a "philosophist". I imagine that as I lose more money I will be getting more and more "philosophistal."

Here's the stats:

P&L, -$1544
Best, TNH, $110
Worst, CF, -$1278

shares traded, 8400
stocks traded, 8, 2 positive, 6 negative
total trades, 50

6 comments:

wincity said...

I'm sure you'll figure it out. I'd hate to see you putting up the "Buy Me a Beer" sign - feels like begging to me. Yours is one of the only couple of blogs I read daily. I even short the same stocks you short.

Dinosaur Trader said...

Win,

Hey, you and me both!

Thanks for reading, I appreciate the feedback you give.

-DT

Jeff said...

30DT - it realy looked like you were trying to prove you were right and the market was wrong. We both know th market is never wrong. We before know you are smarter than this. Hang in there guy.

rol lew said...

Dinasaur, i appreciate your posts, because most of last year i was doing the same thing, and lost money (net)...prior to that i had an account where the commissions were $26 in & $26 out, minimum. so i could not just buy & sell in minutes. so i was more careful in what trends (stocks) i bought in to. i noticed somethings with misstrade's transactions... (1)sometimes they are held overnight (2) sometimes they are counter- trend trades, e.g., long TNH and lond SDS (which is in effect short the S&P500 (3)there is lots of cash in his account, but he trades only a (minor) portion of it. so to cut a long, once-sad, now-ok story short, i am doing better by being both long & short at the same time, holding some positions overnight or for a few days, trading fewer number of shares. with fewer shares of different stockd, you will most likely not have a "Mistrade Day" of +$2267... but you will have many days of +$267 and fewer days of -$1544. This is not advice, but just a recount of what worked for me. I do not depend on trading to pay my bills, so i can afford to "go slow", everytine i would take a big position, that would be "nervous money", so i could not hold on to the trade. on the one day i would lose $800, only to see that i "could have" made $1600 if i had held on for one more day. With big positions, i dread holding overnight, but with smaller, diversified, hedged positions, i am more in a position to dance with the stocks, after picking up the beat, the rythym?, the tempo and the flow, from the charts.
once again, let me say i enjoy & appreciate reading your posts.

other ones that help me understand this "dance" with stocks are

http://kevinsmarketblog.blogspot.com/

http://zmansenergybrain.com/

and

http://www.billcara.com/

i have no doubt that you will be making regular money again, i can see & feel the fire & the determination that drives you.

***good trading today***

Dinosaur Trader said...

rol lew,

Thanks for your insight. Throughout the day I normally have at least some positions that are hedged. If I can pinpoint one problem that I am having and that I plan on studying extensively next week, it is my entries. Since I enter positions at the wrong times, I am having to take too much pain, even if I am ultimately "right" on the position.

Hopefully, with some work, this will change. Thanks for sharing your experience and for the links.

-DT

Dinosaur Trader said...

Jeff,

Funny story, I AM smarter than the market and better looking too.

Frankly, I'm sick and tired of the market thinking it's always right. One of these days the market will be "wrong" and then it will look around and notice it has alienated all of it's friends by being "right" all the time.

-DT