Radiohead, "You And Whose Army?"

More Radiohead dedicated to the RNC.

The RO Report, "Porn Thursday" Edition

It's been a couple of weeks since the last RO report, but apparently, nothing has changed for my office mates... they're still banking coin, huge amounts, on a daily basis.

They're smart, and they trade like animals.

Anyway, the market is completely fucked. There is no leadership. The most you can hope for right now (if you're a bull) is an oversold bounce. There is so much pain out there and seemingly no safe harbors... it's that kind of reality that creates market panic and hopefully, sooner rather than later, a meaningful bottom.

But who cares what I think about the market, just listen to this guy.

It was a good day for the office. Out of 24 traders, 16 were positive, or 67%. 12 traders finished over $1000 gross. I was #10 of 24, so I had a solid day.

Here are the top 5:

1. Trader C, $22,543 on 481,600 shares traded.
2. Trader B, $13,758 on 989,000 shares traded.
3. Trader F, $10,963 on 327,500 shares traded.
4. Trader Z, $9,287 on 296,600 shares traded.
5. Trader H, $6,906 on 11,700 shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader A, -$5,992 on 63,360 shares traded.
2. Trader E, -$3,318 on 45,738 shares traded.
3. Trader G, -$2,425 on 78,800 shares traded.
4. Trader U, -$950 on 1,100 shares traded.
5. Trader 2, -$847 on 4,200 shares traded.

See you tomorrow.

Exclusive Footage of Sarah Palin In The 80s!

How are they going the deflect this one? I mean, things get hot and heavy there at the end...

Radiohead, "Go To Sleep (Little Man Being Erased)"

Dedicated to the RNC. From Radiohead's "Hail To The Thief" album, which, in turn, I dedicate to Mr. Bush.

I know he's reading...

The RO Report

Software is down so no report tonight... but early on, it was a very mixed day for the office. About half of the traders were up and half down, with a pretty even distribution of numbers.

I too was flat on the day. Frustrating, because I started the day strong, up over $500 and gave it all back slowly.

My Blog Was PINK?

WTF? Jack Wagner? Rick Fucking Springfield?

Come Christmas, "Dinosister" will pay. How about "nothing" as a nice gift? "Nothing" sound good?

Oh yeah, and Palin? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! ROTFLMAO!

Anyway, look, I'm really busy. I'll be posting the old RO tonight, but these fluff posts may be few and far between for the next couple of days. After you spend as much time in the woods as I just did, it's hard to want to stare at screens for too long.

Hope you're all well. Not really.

All Hail Dinosaur Trader!

I offer the following as a sign of peace to the great and all mighty Dinosaur Trader, because I am now seriously fearful that DT will not only come back, pin me down, and taunt me with a spit ball blob - but he'll have his ipod charged and will play "his music" non-stop into my ears as a form of revenge for the light hearted changes I have made to his blog. Hopefully, seeing our wonderful leader in action will aggravate him enough to make him forget all about his much younger, much cuter, sister and her blog posts in his absence.

McCain: Genius or Idiot?

I have no idea who this woman is that McCain picked for his VP. I'll say this for him - he knows how to steal Obama's thunder, and has a great sense of timing. Question of the night: If Obama had chosen Hillary as his VP, would McCain have chosen an African-American for his VP?

For those of you who speak in three-letter acronyms, fear not: I'm assuming DT will be back from his camping trip sometime over this weekend and his boring blue blog will shortly return. Therefore, I will be leaving the country so he cannot find me, pin me down, and taunt me with a big spit blob hanging over my face like he used to when we were little.

Dinosaur Trader Identity Revealed

Well, a girl has to do what a girl has to do - and so many of you came forward with bottles of grey goose and limes, that I am compelled to reveal the identity of the Dinosaur Trader. Now, by doing so, I am forced to reveal my own identity as well - so I am putting not only the trader, but my own family, into grave and mortal danger with this move. Just remember, that which does not kill you, only makes you stronger.

The Turtleman - "Snapper-Licious"

This is an amazing video and I don't know how I missed it.

Marvel at (and be jealous of) the pure satisfaction displayed with this guy's calling/talent:



I want to have a drink (Gatorade, of course) and a smoke with this guy and hear all about the chainsaw story. Dang.

Who IS Dinosaur Trader, Really?

Many of you have emailed me in earnest to reveal the true identity of the Dinosaur Trader. While I may have sabotaged his little blog here while he is off camping with scary people in the woods, I still have to respect my family, people! What do you think I am, some cold-hearted bitch that would sell out her brother's identity to a bunch of anonymous traders on the Internet??? Please.

So, if you want to see a picture of DT by the end of the day, you better start coughing up the dough. I accept cash, cash, or cases of grey goose. With limes.

Bill Clinton is a God

That was a great speech, and Obama should be kissing up to Bill and Hillary for the rest of his life! This country really needs to re-think that two term rule. Give them a few years off, and then hey - if they want to run again, I say let em!

Erin Burnett interviewing James Altucher

Yep, that about sums it up for me, too.

Hillary Wins in a Landslide

Not even close - after watching both speeches, Hillary Clinton clearly out spoke, and in my humble opinion, outshone Michelle Obama.

And here is some perspective that you would never hear from DT: Whoever dressed Michelle Obama last night in a blue-green dress that completely blended into the blue background is an idiot. It is all about the contrasting colors! Note the bright orange pantsuit that Clinton wore - ugly? Hell yes.

But she definitely didn't blend into the background, now did she?

Vintage Video of DT

Little known fact: Dinosaur Trader used to take dance classes as a tot. In a tragic twist, his older sister became the more famous dancer of the two, dashing his dreams of becoming a professional dancer. Here is some rare video that may, or may not, feature DT.

A Trifecta!

Gotta love You Tube. First, I know for a fact that the song "Wise Up" by Aimee Mann is beloved by the Dinosaur Trader. Actually, the sister likes it too. So, imagine my delight when I find a video featuring Sawyer, the ultimate bad boy from Lost. DT hates any mass produced television show, even a great one like Lost.

So, I complete the trifecta by posting it tonight, when Hillary speaks at the DNC. It is too late for Obama to "wise up" however, since he has passed her over as veep. Mark my words - she'll be back!

MSNBC = Water Torture

Since my brother has abandoned his post of blog master, I have decided to try and watch the Democratic National Convention so that I can post some thoughts here, in his place.

First off, let me just say that I normally never watch MSNBC, or CNN, or any other political-news channel. All I have seen so far are overweight white guys with bad hair, in matching navy blue suits, making the same lame comments over and over again. Who the hell are these guys?

And I'm going out on a stereotypical limb here, but I'm guessing the demographics of MSNBC are mostly male. So, where are all the good looking female anchors to hook you with? Because if you are watching this channel just to hear these guys talk - then you all need to get some new hobbies. Oh wait - a female Kennedy is about to talk.... the interest level should pick up now....

Hillary's Theme Song

Since the DNC began, I thought a musical posting from Hillary to Obama would be appropriate. Oh, and Obama? Stop sending me mail, cause you ain't getting a dime. I'm saving it for Hill's 2012 campaign against McCain.

Obama loves Biden

Well, it is official. Obama is a stubborn motherfucker and has chosen Joe Biden as his running mate. While Dinosister still thinks that HILLARY CLINTON would have been the far stronger presidential candidate, the rest of democratic America was duped by Obama's smile and his hypnotic gaze.

Say what you will about Clinton, but the press slammed her and kissed Obama's ass the entire time. While I will begrudgingly vote for him in November, I will also be looking forward to watching the press rip him a new one as he stumbles and makes mistakes in public - as most humans do.

And since the press loves to prey on the mistakes of public figures, why should he be exempt?

As for Biden, I can't say anything bad against a man who, after losing his wife and young child and watching his other two children struggle to live after a horrific holiday time car accident decades ago- still takes that day off from work each year in their memory. Hopefully that is a true story about his character, and not some propaganda that the Obama Dream Machine is sending out to the masses.

Dinosaur Trader: The Early Years

In a shocking past, DT regularly watched the soap opera General Hospital, and had a fabulous Barbie collection. If I remember correctly, Ken was his favorite.

I would beg him to play Star Wars, GI Joe, or Matchbox cars with me instead, all to no avail. He would push Ken around in the pink corvette for hours on the wood floors, stopping occasionally to pick up Skipper or Barbie. He also loved the extra large Barbie head where you could style her hair and apply various shades of azure eye shadow to her lids.

In terms of his musicality back then, besides being a huge Jack Wagner fan, he really loved Rick Springfield's music and would play the album "Working Class Dog" virtually non-stop.