Gil Scott Heron, "Whitey On The Moon"

The RO Report

I traded very actively today, mostly because I lost money early and had to stick around to try and make it back... luckily, I did.

In fact, that pretty much sums up the day for the RO. It was a complete and total bloodbath in the morning, with only 3 or 4 traders gross positive. By the end of the day, things got better.

Still, it wasn't exactly a great day... volume on the NYSE is officially at "summer doldrum" levels, and it's a good time to get some sun. Many traders (including me) are planning on taking off the entire last 2 weeks of the month.

Anyway, out of 22 traders today, 11 were positive, or 50%. I was #10 of 22.

Here's the top 3:

1. Trader Z, $8,605 on 114k shares traded.
2. Trader C, $6,076 on 220k shares traded.
3. Trader A, $4,845 on 223k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader B, -$22,750 on 616k shares traded.
2. Trader G, -$3,576 on 35k shares traded.
3. Trader D, -$2,504 on 372k shares traded.

McCain's Georgia Speech

"the Democratic Republic of Georgia, pictured here, in 2008, before the war.

Not sure if his speechwriters were smoking herb when they wrote this speech, but McCain (who, incidentally, said "my friends" 821 times during the 5 minute speech) called Georgia a "brave little nation" and then a "tiny little democracy" and then finished off by saying, "Today, we're all Georgians." WTF?

When does the Disney movie come out?

Another Person Who Should Never, EVER Trade

Goofy Kid Gets Ultimate Wedgie - Watch more free videos

Sonic Youth, "The Diamond Sea"

The RO Report

It was a pretty rough day for the RO today. Most traders were deep in the red until the end of the day. I find this market strange in that it seems to be easier to make money at the end of the day, than at the beginning.

Anyway, I don't have much color since I only traded a half day...

Out of 23 traders, 12 were positive, or 52%. I was #8 of 24. Note "Trader #1," who wasn't in the office the day I made the alphabet list. In the future, if there are new members that didn't make the original list, they'll be assigned numbers.

Here are the top 3:

1. Trader H $7,880 on 15k shares traded.
2. Trader D $4,137 on 452k shares traded.
3. Trader B $2,532 on 514k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader A -$17,478 on 46k shares traded.
2. Trader Z -$8,929 on 78k shares traded.
3. Trader #1 -$2,478 on 75k shares traded.

Two Possible Hurricanes, One Gigantic Shark

2 potential hurricanes are forming in the lower Atlantic. While that news is bad, what makes it much worse is the presence of a gargantuan shark, following just behind the storm systems. Note the large, menacing fin.



Should these systems continue westward, they could confront and damage some of the oil rigs that reside in the Gulf Of Mexico. My theory (non-scientific) is that after injuring the rigs, the great oil shark will come and eat them, thereby sending the price of Natty Gas and Oil through the roof.

Smog, "River Guard"

The RO Report

Well, another Friday, another smokefest in the RO. It was painful out there for most of the traders. Until around 3:00, less than 20% of the office was gross positive.

Luckily, things turned around somewhat, but still, it was ugly. Out of 22 traders, 12 were positive, or 54%. I was #9 of 22.

Anyway, have a good weekend. Summer is on the wane... have some fun.

Here's the top:

1. Trader A, $26,241 on 203k shares traded.
2. Trader Z, $7,165 on 191k shares traded.
3. Trader H, $4,565 on 5k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader D, -$20,129 on 610k shares traded.
2. Trader B, -$16,366 on 1.2mil shares traded.
3. Trader F, -$5,224 on 201k shares traded.

Another Person Who Shouldn't Be A Trader...

Fleet Foxes, "Blue Ridge Mountains"

Wow, they played Letterman. This is Judy's favorite song by them. She said a couple of things about this performance... first off, she said the lead singer's hair was a bit "shinier" than usual. She also said that they seemed nervous in the beginning, but then pulled it together. Great song.

The RO Report

Wow, well the market took one on the chin today. I have to say, after the last week, and with IBD talking about rallies and stuff, I was starting to wonder if I had missed the bottom.

I mean, this could just be a pullback, but I don't see the leadership... I think most of the move in the indexes could be attributed to financial bounces. They're not about to lead the market higher... so once the short squeeze is over, we could retest the lows. Time will tell.

Anyway, it was a mixed day in the RO. Actually, overall, it was a good day due to the top 3 guys, but the leadership was rather narrow. Out of 24 traders, 13 finished positive, or 54%. I was #9 of 24, so I had another decent day.

Here's the top 3: (refer to yesterday's RO post for an explanation on the lettering... however, don't miss another post, okay?)

1. Trader Z, $18,274 on 205k shares traded.
2. Trader B, $12,934 on 512k shares traded.
3. Trader F, $9,423 on 224k shares traded.

And on the downside:

1. Trader A, -$13,908 on 328k shares traded.
2. Trader C, -$1,626 on 288k shares traded.
3. Trader H, -$1,538 on 2500 shares traded.

NOTE: The site seems fucked again... I'm going back to a static blogroll for now. Fuck blogger.

Porn Thursday

In order to boost my readership, I've decided to post a hardcore porn movie clip each Thursday.

Developing...

Environmental Guy

I was part of the green club in high school. We didn't do much of anything except start with some recycling programs.

At that time I also remember thinking that the people who shopped at supermarkets carrying their own shopping bags were freaks.

I'm no environmentalist but here's a great Jim Carey skit on In Living Color as the "Environmental Guy" (probably from the early 90's), which touches on many of the hot 'awareness' topics of today:

The Daily Show - "To Drill Or Not To Drill"

Classic Daily Show. They hit this one out of the park.

Another Person Who Shouldn't Be A Trader

Classic!


Insane Rainbow Conspiracy Lady - Watch more free videos

Aerosmith, "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)"

Please don't even try to argue that it's good.

The RO Report

I tell you one thing... I'm gonna get more sleep tonight. I woke up late and didn't have a clear plan in my head for the day.

So I had to watch the RO rake in money, while I dabbled around "unched." Very frustrating. Out of 26 traders today, 19 were gross positive, or 73%. I was number 19 of 26. So I was gross positive, net negative... which means, shitty music.

Volume dropped off today, and it can't be long before the volume just completely dries up for the end of August.

Still, as you'll see below, sometimes volume doesn't matter if you're in the right spots.

Since there were 26 traders today... I've decided to just letter them, A through Z, top to bottom, so that a bit of a story develops here in the RO. So today, A,B,C will be the top 3 and Z,Y,X will be the bottom. However, from here on out, these labels are static, and so one day, Trader Z could be the #1 trader on the day... I hope this makes sense. I think it will by the end of the week.

For the record, I'm "Trader S." Given the huge numbers at the top and bottom of the range, I doubt you'll see me anytime too soon.

The top 3:

1. Trader A, $18,586 on 446k shares traded.
2. Trader B, $18,443 on 896k shares traded.
3. Trader C, $9,493 on 168k shares traded.

And the bottom:

1. Trader Z, -$835 on 187k shares traded.
2. Trader Y, -$635 on 2k shares traded.
3. Trader X, -$459 on 29k shares traded.

Costco Part 2

(in case you missed Part 1 of this epic tale, it's here.)

Now, as you all know, I'm a very cultured guy, but I've never been in a Costco.

The gray cinder-block walls gave the place a "jail chic" kind of appeal and observing a few of the patrons I wouldn't be surprised if a few had "washed" someone in their past.

After a few minutes of walking around aisles wide enough to allow the easy passage of very obese people and wondering if we really needed 28 glue sticks, I started thinking bad thoughts about Obama.

"Fucking elitist," I thought. "Dude can't even bowl without looking like a girl. How the hell is he gonna stand up to the terrorists?" I grabbed a sleeve of 36 D-size batteries and threw it into our cart.

I looked at Judy, my waifish yoga wife, and compared her to a 300-pound woman riding around in one of those electric wheelchairs. I thought of three Judys in one big "Judy body" while I reached for a "Red Cross Emergency Kit." 

"Maybe Judy needs to gain a little weight," I thought to myself.   And I threw a 3 million candle spotlight into our cart.

A mom and her son, both huge, were looking at bags of chips. 

"Those bags are bigger than the other ones we got," the son said while giggling. 

The mom giggled back at him. They stood there like that, in front of the chips, shoulders shaking, necks all loose, laughing.  I walked by them and picked up 1000 feet of aluminum foil. 

"McCain isn't really that old," I thought. 

I spent a long time contemplating a generator. I was pulled away from said generator by Judy. I listened to a salesman talking to an old guy about Tums. 

"If you have a few people in your family taking these," the salesman explained slowly in a serious tone, "buying in this quantity is a very economical way to go." 

The old guy nodded thoughtfully, and added the gallon-sized tub of Tums to his cart.

All around me, different people were having different conversations but the words I heard were the same... "big," "bigger," and "biggest."

An 87 year old woman wearing a Costco visor was handing out free samples of grape juice. 

"Where could I find the green tea?" I asked. 

"Aisle 32,148," she said, as she continued to pour the juice into tiny plastic cups. 

She didn't even look up. She was like an 87 year old robot, lifting the plastic cup from the stack, placing it on the counter, and then filling it with purple... over and over. I felt a pang of sympathy for her and remembered how it used to be when old people retired. But hey, she probably had credit card debt, and should be happy Costco gave her the opportunity to pay it off.

Behind me, a lady was struggling to carry a huge bag of red meat. She was grunting as she lugged it toward her double-size shopping cart. I imagined her, as a cavewoman or something, trying to drag a dead boar to her fire... she was hunting here, at Costco. 

Other people were pawing over discounted books. One large woman was reading the back cover of a book about the South Beach diet and another, equally large woman, came over and told her that it changed her life. 

Men were buying quantities of meat, and cases of beer. They wore sports jerseys and Nascar caps. The mood was light. The people were happy. The people were filling their carts. The people were getting good deals on big stuff. 

What more was there?

We got to the checkout and I realized, in a panic, that there was no way we could fit this stuff into my small car.  I worried about this, out loud, to my mother.  A man in the next checkout lane overheard our conversation. 

"Oh, you find ways to fit it all in. You always do," he said.  Lightheartedly, he laughed, and I felt like I was a member of some new club. 

This man was my brother. He spoke in open-ended terms, he sounded wise. He too had found it difficult to fit the absurdly large quantities of stuff into his car, but he had managed. I would manage too... everything would be okay. I could consume. For a flashing moment, I understood the psyche of a Hummer driver.

And then, as if to complete the scene, upon exiting Costco through the automatic sliding doors, I looked out over the vast parking lot towards where the horizon should be (instead there was a BestBuy or something) and saw a funnel cloud descending, slowly and silently from the black heavens. It was the first time in my entire life that I had ever seen a funnel cloud. I thought the coincidence of me going to a Costco and witnessing my first funnel cloud was just too much.

Compared to the Costco and that funnel cloud, I had never felt so... small before.

But ironically enough, I also felt very American.

St. Vincent, "Dig A Pony"