Sarah Palin Interviewed By Katie Couric On CBS

Okay, listen... we've had the folksy dude who didn't know anything for 8 years. How'd that turn out for you? If you're one of those who have voted for McCain/Palin over there in my poll, I hope you watch this interview (you can change your vote, btw). I mean, she seems really nice... but she also seems really stupid. No thanks.

If you can't watch the whole thing, at least watch from 3:45 or so, when they discuss the "financial crisis." Sorry folks, but this woman is a loser. If McCain were elected and died, and she became President... PRESIDENT! I would move my entire family to some other country immediately. (h/t reader "Mark L.")



If any of you ever come across anything worth posting here, shoot me an email. I always appreciate tips.

UPDATE: The President of Pakistan thinks she's a hottie. In truth, no one wants a hot VP candidate. Gimme a saggy old smart person... PLEASE!

Tina Turner, "Simply The Best"

Or the worst... However, I remember in the 80s my father always used to say that Tina Turner had "nice legs." God I hope I make money tomorrow. I really can't stand posting bad music.

The RO Report, "They Ruined The Market" Edition

Man, I saw that Duncan guy on CNBC today saying that he plans on getting that short selling ban extended and it made me very depressed. Being a trader and not being able to short stocks... it makes no sense. It'd be like... imagine the porn industry banned oral sex. It's stupid.

Here's a link to Mr. Niederauer, CEO of the NYSE talking about the ban from the NYSE website.

Anyway, more and more stocks are being added to the "ban list" which means fewer trading opportunities. And that is beginning to show in the volume number. Today, amidst all this market confusion, we barely edged our way over a billion shares on the NYSE.

Folks, short NYX. Oh wait, YOU CAN'T! Fuck these market manipulators! Let us trade again!

It was a very quiet day in the RO. Out of 22 traders, 9 were positive, or 41%. I was #12 of 22, or slightly negative. Only 4 traders finished up over $1,000 gross today.

Here are today's Bosses.

1. Trader B, $4,926 on 200k shares traded.
2. Trader D, $2,422 on 28,700 shares traded.
3. Trader K, $1,340 on 129k shares traded.
4. Trader H, $1,260 on 12,100 shares traded.
5. Trader R, $840 on 33,400 shares traded.

And the Manservants.

1. Trader A, -$7,635 on 161k shares traded.
2. Trader N, -$935 on 12,800 shares traded.
3. Trader J, -$878 on 24,000 shares traded.
4. Trader F, -$760 on 14,800 shares traded.
5. Trader Z, -$598 on 22,200 shares traded.

Is Andy Borowitz "Too Big To Fail?"

Well now that he's been linked by me, he's bigger than ever. Wait, sorry... I meant to say, "biggah than evah."

I love the The New Yorker magazine. Of course, that makes perfect sense since I'm not only a communist, but I'm also an elitist.

Be that as it may, I urge you to check out this funny piece by Mr. Borowitz entitled, "Too Big To Fail." If you're not an elitist, it's okay... it's short and there are lots of pictures.

Here's a snip.

How did I find myself in this hole? Like most financial crises, mine had its origins on a slippery slope. First of all, I made the mistake of logging on to iTunes when I was high and downloading every Electric Light Orchestra song ever recorded. Second, I created my own e-commerce site, the ill-fated DressYourBadger.com.

Admit it, that's funny. Read it, and enjoy communism. It's coming, why fight it?

Duncan Neiderauer On Short Sale Ban

"It's very likely that it will be pushed out a few weeks [past the current Oct. 2nd deadline] until we have a marketwide solution on how we should trade all stocks."

That sounds very bad from a trading perspective. They will extend the short-ban. Sigh.

I'll put up a link to the interview when it becomes available.

Here it is.

Ron Paul On "The Bailout"

And for some perspective, here's how Sweden dealt with a similar crisis in 1992. I don't think RP would be pleased...

Meanwhile, haven't we had enough secrecy from the White House in the last 8 years?

How cynical to think that just because there are now photos of Sarah Palin with a couple of "world leaders" that she has "foreign policy" experience. How condescending.

Debt To America!

The best thing about this crisis is seeing The Daily Show cover Wall Street more. Now if only they'd pick up the phone, and hire me on as a writer so I can get the fuck out of here already.

Breaking! Paulson Bans Warren Buffett's Death

The SEC and Hank Paulson have just issued an emergency order effectively banning the death of Warren Buffett.

As Paulson explained in a brief statement, "Warren Buffett is too important to the stability of the US Financial Markets to be allowed to pass. He will be kept alive at least until the next administration takes office, so that the "liberal media" doesn't have yet another awful event to blame on President Bush."

UPDATE: Here's Buffett on CNBC this morning discussing his purchase.

The Weather Girls, "It's Raining Men"

The RO Report, "Smoked" "The Buffet Bottom" Edition

What a fucked up day. All day long, I'm buying a stock (ENER) that isn't oversold on its daily, has bad news, and isn't bouncing. Talk about a loss of focus. For that, I wear the label of "manservant." It was my worst day in a very, very long time. Perhaps my worst day of the year.

Anyway, the entire office got smoked. The funny thing is that everyone was trading different stuff today and nothing seemed to work. I mean, even today's "bosses" are lame.

In fact, today was so fucking feeble that I'll have to post an especially bad song this evening. (h/t to "Trader E" for the selection)

However, let's take a lesson from this, shall we? Last week the RO made a ridiculous amount of money. Today reminds us that losses are also part of this game. The market is a humbling place to work. It's important to respect its power. It giveth, and it taketh away.

Accordingly, with a look at today's RO smokefest and a glance at the lowest trading volume in weeks, I will change my trading strategy going forward until volume returns. You can't fight the market, you have to adapt to it.

Indeed, I may have to devote an entire day to the HCPG (the "G" is for gay) method again, as sort of punishment.

Trading like a "crackhead" in a low volume market is a good way to impoverish yourself.

Well, let's get this over with. Out of 21 traders today, only 5 were gross positive, or 24%. That may be a new low for the RO. 10 traders lost over $1,000 gross. I was number 17 of 21 today, or disgustingly red. Indeed, I am the "manservant" known as "Trader S."

Perhaps my old baby, the VO, did better... NAH!

Here are today's "bosses."

1. Trader C, $1,395 on 94,700 shares traded.
2. Trader P, $998 on 29,500 shares traded.
3. Trader K, $791 on 25,800 shares traded.
4. Trader T, $607 on 5,100 shares traded.
5. Trader 3, $50 on 2,200 shares traded.

And the "manservants."

1. Trader B, -$11,564 on 503k shares traded.
2. Trader H, -$9,383 on 14,000 shares traded.
3. Trader A, -$7,169 on 481k shares traded.
4. Trader D, -$5,243 on 90,300 shares traded.
5. Trader S, -$2,686 on 30,600 shares traded.

BREAKING:  WARREN BUFFETT INVESTS 5 BILLION IN GOLDMAN!

DT Versus The Market

The market is winning. Big time. I seem destined for "manservant" status right now.

Why Should The Media Want Access To A VP Candidate?

They probably want to ask her questions and shit...

Bravo to the Republicans and the McCain campaign for thwarting the "liberal media" (even those crazy left-wing WSJ reporters) once again.


However, the media is playing hard ball...

More here.

I Want To Surf Like This...

ReInflating My Blogroll

In the last couple of months, due to technical difficulties, my blogroll has been in a state of flux and decline. So in an effort to bailout my blogroll I am asking you, respected reader, to help me reinflate it.

Are there blogs that provide great daily content, preferably funny, because let's face it, the stock market is boring, that I'm missing? If you'd like to see something on my blogroll that isn't already there, add it to the comment section and I will run it by my "Blogroll Development Committee."

Thank you for your kind assistance.

The Pixies, "River Euphrates"

The Pixies were my favorite band in high school.  That makes me so much cooler than you that it's probably almost impossible for you to comprehend.  I saw them in concert at a place in NYC that doesn't even exist anymore... see?  And the thing is, at that concert, some drunk chick nearly broke my face with the back of her skull.  You get it yet?  Anyway, great song.

The RO Report, "Ban Oil Buyers" Edition

Seriously... the rip today in oil is unreal. Hank Paulson should immediately ban speculation. People should only be able to buy oil on a downtick. However, it would be better if people just couldn't bet on the upward price of oil at all. Why? Because people who are trying to force the price of oil higher are hurting America.

That is obvious.

Anyway, after a quiet morning, the RO heated up in the afternoon. The funny thing about not being able to short banks and insurers, is that everyone is looking for other things to short instead, since we all feel like the market is ultimately headed down, despite the government manipulation.

So the RO was short REITs, and the REITs tanked.

It was very un-American of us. Maybe in a few years, or perhaps a few short months, we'll be forced to do hard labor, for making money in the stock market in such an un-American way.

I also want to note the lack of volume today... after trading over 2 billion shares most days last week, trading 1.2 billion today felt really awful... perhaps all the shorts who were going to cover covered on Friday. And now, with no one who really wants to buy this market, the only thing people can do is "take profit."

Anyway, after two good days, I got complacent today and missed the really good money that was made between 3 and 3:30. I applaud the top of the RO for being able to maintain focus, after such ridiculously good days last week.

Out of 19 traders today, 15 were positive, or 79%. 4 traders finished up over $10,000 gross, and 11 finished up over $1,000 gross. I was #11 of 19.

Here are today's "bosses."

1. Trader D, $25,411 on 324k shares traded.
2. Trader Z, $18,381 on 93,400 shares traded.
3. Trader B, $12,644 on 567k shares traded.
4. Trader A, $10,462 on 420k shares traded.
5. Trader F, $4,445 on 74k shares traded.

And the "manservants."

1. Trader P, -$14,472 on 51k shares traded.
2. Trader C, -$3,525 on 131k shares traded.
3. Trader H, -$1,461 on 8,200 shares traded.
4. Trader I, -$886 on 17,800 shares traded.
5. Trader 3, $240 on 3,400 shares traded.

Down Goes The Dollar, Up Goes Oil

That's right... oil is up $14.50 on the DAY.



Thank you government bailout. Not only do you save the fucked up institutions that are costing taxpayers billions, but you're also helping to create a massive spike in the price of oil, since you're crushing the dollar.

Again, the little man is screwed.

Who Are You Voting For?

There's only 43 days left until election day... let's see if my readership gets this one right.

Who are you voting for?

1. McCain/Palin
2. Obama/Biden
3. Nader/Gonzalez

The Market Is Gay Again

Well, we were due for a letdown after last week's fun. Volume is down, stocks gapped all over the place, and it just feels were due for a day of death consolidation.

Sure the guys in the office are trading, but at this point, 70% of the office is down, and "Trader 3," up $66 on the day, is in the #7 position.

Perhaps we need to wait until Wednesday, when Bernanke and Paulson get "grilled" by Congress.

Will be back for the close.

NOTE: A few more companies were added to the "short ban" list. Ray has the details here.

They Might Be Giants, "Road Movie To Berlin"

I posted this song a few weeks ago, but here's the thing... listen to it NOW.

Obviously, it's not about the financial crisis... however, it's about some crisis, and I feel it makes a lot of sense to post it now, again. Lyrics below.



We're in a road movie to Berlin
Can't drive out the way we drove in
So sneak out this glass of bourbon
And we'll go.

We were once so close to heaven
Peter came out and gave us medals
Declaring us the nicest of the damned.

Time won't find the lost
It'll sweep up our skeleton bones
So take the wheel and I will take the pedals.

We're in a road movie to Berlin
Can't drive out the way we drove in
So sneak out this glass of bourbon
And we'll go.